What would you do?

February 28, 2007 3:55am CST
Recently I read how a close friend really feels about me. I was unware that the person felt this way. The comments made in the document I read were totally untrue and put me in a bad light. Personally these comments really upset me and my other half, as there hadn't been anything said by me to trigger the comments that were made. I have done everything I can to help this person whenever they need this help. I personally held this person within my close circle of friends, only now I can see these comments really hurt me, and so I think there will be an atmosphere when I see this person next. I dont see why the comments were made especcially when it would be known by other people close to me, and therefore it puts them in a difficult situation too. Regardless of the hurt they have caused I would like to think, I was just a forlorn attempt venting their anger and frustration. I wouldn't want to see this come between our relationship but, I think this person might be little wierd around me. I can only hope that there will be an appology, which I dont expect at all though. Either way I just dont know what to do, as I don't have any problems with this person, and I thought everything was great with them. But now Im confused on why this person said such things:(
1 person likes this
6 responses
@joanana (772)
• United States
1 Mar 07
I would have to agree with what other posters have mentioned. You need to clear the air between you and this person first and foremost and the only way to do that is to confront them. You need to find out why they posted the comments that they did, especially since you say they are all wrong. It could be, as you said, that they were frustrated about something and were just attempting to find some way to vent. There is a certain anonymity when it comes to blogging and perhaps they felt that they could post their feelings publicly without repercussions. To be honest though I would seriously consider severing ties with this person. If they could stoop to telling lies just to make themselves feel better than I do not believe they deserve to be in your close circle of friends.
1 person likes this
1 Mar 07
Anyway, following Joey assuming that this was about his wife, which it wasn't...i feel i have to said it was about, which i didnt want to do...it was about one of my friends from school...a friend sent me an email she had sent her about me, where she said that she didn't want to go out shopping with me, and my group of friends...it wasn't only slagging off me but my friends. which is why i was so upset by it. dont get me wrong some of my friends from school are unreliable, but still there was no need for her to send such an email
1 Mar 07
My friend Becky just called me, and we have both decided to ignore what she said, and not speak to Emma in future, as she obviously has grown away from us since we last saw each other a few months ago. Becky said she thought it could be that she has had a new boyfriend, so it could be that she is just looking for an excuse to see each other less, therefore giving her more time to be with him...i dont know, i just know that Becky has said she is having nothing to do with Emma, so im going to do the same...if i happen to see her in town or while im out at some point, i dont be any different towards her, but i wont be seeing her socially anymore. Which is what most of you said anyway, thanks guys
@freak369 (4676)
• United States
28 Feb 07
Tough situation. Before you confront this person, make sure that you are 100% proof positive that they are talking about you. I have been stabbed in the back many times and learned to pick and choose my friends carefully. I would rather have one or two people that I can call true friends than tons of people that I 'might' be able to count on if push came to shove. If I were in your shoes I would approach things differently. I would ignore the whole thing and act as though it never happened but I would not go out of my way to call or meet up with the person that wrote those things. Eventually guilt and paranoia will get the best of them, when they start to pester you and ask you what's wrong, you have the choice of mentioning what was written or blowing them off completely. If someone isn't going to be honest with you about how they feel ... do you really want them as a friend? Are they worth your time and effort? The next time you get upsset about this situation, think about that.
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28 Feb 07
It isnt the case that I can join avoid her though...as I dont really see why I should avoid her, when I have no problem with her, other than she's said really hurtful things...and due to it I couldn't sleep last night...With wondering wot ive done to trigger the out burst
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1 Mar 07
Freak; Believe it's about HER alright. My wife comments are 100% spot on and you don't know the full story or facts. My wife's a very caring person. Read my other comments guilt and paranoia? this will only hit the attention seeker and this isn't my wife. When she upsets my family and my mother getting upset because vickys family are idiots (which she even says) and then she acts just like them. selfish, childish oh and A CONTROL FREAK. I'm leaving it here. although you should hear my wife said to this although you can read my comments. (i'm no liar either) Vicky; This isn't fair. I can promise you that my mother will see kate's said and she won't be happy with this at all. All those times you've been mardy, you don't know kate so don't judge her and what she said about you is true and is the bad side to your attitude. Don't even bother saying sorry to me. You never meant it anyway.
• Philippines
28 Feb 07
First of all dear, I'm sorry that such a thing like this has to happen to you. You feel sad, disappointed, distressed, upset, and maybe angry too.. I want to say I understand what you're going through, but I can't say that as I will never exactly feel a same pain as yours. The best thing to do is to confront the person. This would probably be hard - but you should ask the person what made him/her say such things. He/She may be undergoing something terrible at the moment, and had said/written things he/she does not really mean. If that is the case, he/she is probably feeling terrible now. If not, then ask him/her what the problem is. You are hurting, and he/she is hurting too - and this would be the hardest bit of all: One must long to understand first before longing to be understood. Of course, it would be perfectly understandable too, should you choose to let go of that person, after all the things he/she had spoken/written. But then, you could be proving that some of the things he/she have mentioned could be true, after all. Those above are my opinions, and as such, you can mull over them or not. Know, though, that there may be people who you care for that may hurt you, but there are also people who are willing to risk everything just to see you happy. Take care, dear, and I pray that all these will be resolved soon.
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28 Feb 07
Thing is i really value this persons friendship, as we have days out together just hanging out and shopping kind of thing. And well now, its probably going to mean she doesn't want to any more...and will make everything difficult
1 Mar 07
You should complete the story vicky. Kate posted what you are at your worst, she doesn't see the good in you as you always do something to shine the bad things highlighted. Shadenfrauder; The issue goes from the way vicky acts around my family. She can be a very caring and lovely person, although to be fair what my wife said is true and she isn't a nasty person at heart. she just doesn't like the attitude of those who try to ruin things which is how she sees vicky. Vicky; You value the relationship? posting about it doesn't suggest you do. You posted no facts to why Kate mentioned theses things, if you do respect us. Listen and when you lied about stealing copyrighted images and then nearly got our site bad name + us being treat end was quite a bad point. far worse than any of the other members, as you we're counted as FAMILY. family don't lie, only your sister does that. =)
• Canada
1 Mar 07
I'm sorry that you're going through such a time right now. Sometimes, people we consider friends do or say things that are totally out of character, and in the meantime someone else gets hurt. I too have been through something like this before and I was terribly hurt at the time. 10 years down the line I still don't know why this person fell out with me or what I did wrong - but I don't care anymore. I got over it when I realized that people have their own reasons for doing things and saying things, and that if they don't want to tell you they won't. I hope that your friend will at least tell you why they did what they did, and that you can somehow repair your friendship. You DO have a right to know why they started making comments about you. I hope that this can be sorted soon.
1 person likes this
1 Mar 07
Remind my replies. She knows why full stop ~Joey (I sad I wouldn't do this. Oh vicky, kate isn't your friend.)
• Philippines
28 Feb 07
what can I say, it's a bit vague for me, but then, i understand you meant it to be. Dropping names is bad, and making up stories that will put the other in a bad light is definitely upsetting. In your case, you've done nothing to trigger such animosity or bitterness in your friend. Maybe, it was his/her intuition that makes him/her see you in a different light other than as a friend. Or maybe s/he's read into your what you're saying and it struck home. You know some people are a bit touchy about what others say, especially if you're not really that close and you don't know what she's been through and thinking. You may want to talk to him/her about it, or you may let it go. That depends on how you take this subject. If this is uncalled-for, I guess it's OK to let her/him know you're angry at what s/he's doing to you.
1 person likes this
1 Mar 07
Who mentioned making up stories Jackie? Jackie; She as triggered this reaction. My wife isn't the sort to be nasty, as she sees good in all those people I don't. I like vicky, although as things go she can do VERY hurtful things. Just read my remarks about the fact we stuck up for her after we had reports from someone that they was going to take action after "vicky" stole copyrighted images and lie to us about it. Oh without saying thank and YET to say sorry. (the only thank you was forced to be e-mailed.) I can also say a lot of things vicky didn't care to mention, although I won't as this is the place. Vicky; Your handling this in very bad way. Believe me, lieing doesn't earn you respect. I thought I could forgive you for a lot of things, This isn't one of them. The copyright thief was, until now. ~Joey
1 Mar 07
I no what your talking about. Although what she said was true and it's her feelings. I'm sorry it's only you who sees it in this light. Your a friend to me but you do act selfish and although it's something I can easily forget. That thing you did to make Kate say these wasn't. You'll be waiting sometime if you expect Kate to say sorry to you. There's nothing more selfish when someone saves your back and doesn't receive a thank you in return. As for how to go about it, the only thing you can do is stop being childish and grow up. I see a lot of your sister in and Kate isn't doing anything to come between your relationship. If you made a little effort in making up for your behaviour, you know the fact you stole copyrighted images lied about it those who stopped lawsuit's coming your way, only to find you thinking of YOURSELF. Once again you've done this and I'm not bothered what you think. This is the truth and stop thinking like your sister, you are a wonderful person to know!!!! just when you act like this. ~Joey