Punishing

United States
February 28, 2007 12:12pm CST
Do you think that it is appropriate to punish your children in public??? The reason I am asking this because I have seen many people do it. I personally think that if your child needs to be punished it should be done in privacy. Not out in public for everybody to see. I was in a store one day, and this lady was yelling at her children. a couple minutes later, she spanked one of them. I think that it should be done in privacy. Some people really don't care what other people think of them. What is your opinion?? I'm curious about your thoughts on the subject.
12 people like this
70 responses
@kimko5099 (195)
• United States
28 Feb 07
I do believe that you should punish your child if he does something wrong but I do not believe in spanking, especially in public. I think it is embarrassing to see parents hit their children in public. If their child starts to act up I think they should just leave and take them home, thats what I heard was a good solution.
3 people like this
• United States
28 Feb 07
Thank you for your input. I too think that it is wrong to do in public.
2 people like this
• United States
28 Feb 07
I also believe tha punishing should be done in public, if I believe that a punishment couldn't wait until we got home, then I would take my child to the bathroom- I don't believe that they need an audience.
3 people like this
• United States
28 Feb 07
Thank you for responding to my discussion. That is also what I think. If it has to be done, do it in privacy..Like the bathroom. I'm open to all opinions. I'm just curious what people think.
2 people like this
@speakeasy (4171)
• United States
28 Feb 07
I believe it depends on the age of the child, the offense, and the punishment. Small children (toddlers) need instant punishment or they don't really understand WHY they are being punished. Older children can be punished a little later in private and they will still understand why they are being punished. Sometimes the offense is very public so the punishment also needs to be public and in front of the offended party. If your 5 year old pulls down the pants of an older person or lifts their skirt in public; it is VERY embarassing to that person and an immediate response from you as a parent is needed. If the same 5 year old damages something in a store, you should pay for the damaged item and then remove the child from the store where they can be punished in private. The punishment: a quick swat to the bottom or on the hand can be administered quickly and then the child can be removed with very little disruption to others. Even holding the child still and having a quiet talk with the child is usually OK. But, yelling at the child for several minutes or spanking should be done in private.
2 people like this
• United States
28 Feb 07
Thank you for your input. I appreciate it. I asked this question because I wanted to see the various answers I would get. And I have to say that I think it is going over well.
1 person likes this
@shevamp (120)
• Philippines
1 Mar 07
i agree with speakeasy. age is something to be considered, as well as what the offense was, in determining the kind of punishment a child should get. it is important that children know what they did wrong while they are young, so that when they grow up, they will be able to know right from wrong. parents must know how to explain things to their children, depending on their age. if it can be done where the child would not get embarrassed if the offense does not involve other people, then discipline your child in privacy, but don't let it wait or your child might not only have forgotten about it, but he/she might not take it so seriously by then.
• Philippines
28 Feb 07
Actually, it's difficult to just give out opinions on those kinds of stuff because it may be due to different reasons. However, if the child is just irritating it's parents, obviously it is inappropriate. But, if the child is ranting so much and it is very hard to controll them, I think it's time to show the child what her wrongs are
2 people like this
• United States
28 Feb 07
Thank you for your input. I wanted to view everybodys opinions, and this seems to be a good topic. Thanks again.
1 person likes this
• Italy
1 Mar 07
I don't agree with punishment, i think for educate a child is very important talk with him and explain the situation. In case punishment is necessary i am agree to make this in private and not in a public place
• United States
1 Mar 07
I am also one of those parents who don't care what people think. I have mixed feelings when it comes to ages though. There is a certain time when your child absolutely knows what they are doing and are old enough to know better. I say if my child wants to misbehave and embarrass me in public why should I wait until we get home. By the time we get home in some cases, I will have forgotten about it and we know they will too.
• United States
28 Feb 07
I believe children should be dealt with immediately upon showing inappropriate behavior. By the same token, I believe there are ways of disciplining children that do not involve public humiliation or physical/corporal punishment. Taking a child into the bathroom of a grocery store upon inappropriate behavior is more desirable than spanking in public. I guess I'm also puzzled why some parents take their children into a grocery store or other public place where the opportunity to act up is more likely. It's stressful for the child and the parent, and why subject either of you to that if it can be avoided. I can't see how paying a teenager $10 or $15 to watch a child why you do some grocery shopping is that big of a deal. But that's me.
2 people like this
• United States
28 Feb 07
Thank you for responding to my discussion. I honor your opinion. I feel the same way, thats why I was asking for others opinions. I find it interesting to see all the opinions on the subject.
2 people like this
@MissMo (170)
• United States
1 Mar 07
I completely agree. I don't understand why parents insist upon taking their kids to certain places anyway. I once was at a 4-star restaurant and there were 8 women - each of whom had an infant with her! And they were all crying! That is 8 babies crying while I'm paying over $100 for a nice dinner. If they had that kind of money to go to that restaurant, I don't see why they couldn't have paid en extra $20 or $30 to hire a babysitter. It really does frustrate me.
@burden (25)
• Canada
1 Mar 07
Well, it is illegal to spank your children in the public where i live, child abuse. But i always think that if you talk to them nicely, they'd be much more happier and listen to you rather than always being mean and punishing them.
2 people like this
• United States
1 Mar 07
Thank you for your response
@jhartana (1084)
• Australia
28 Feb 07
I think this is inappropriate. If I were to have children, I would not punish them in front of public. This just makes myself and the children feel embarrassed. I preferred to do it back in home. First I need to give word of warning (depending on how naughty they are). I would not spank or hit them regardless how naughty they are.
• United States
1 Mar 07
Thank you for responding. I appreciate your opinion.
• United States
28 Feb 07
i have the same beliefs however sometimes my son has driven me up the walls and i have had it and i over react...but now ive learned that telling him that im going to take him to the bathroom...is not always a good thing the threat alone stops the bad behavior parents need to find a way to have their children listen as easily as possible...oh and ive also pinched him..it works like a charm its discreet and i learned that one from other moms. (of course not hard making the child cry)
2 people like this
• United States
28 Feb 07
Thanks for your input. Every opinion counts.
1 person likes this
• United States
28 Feb 07
I don't punish my children in public, it is embarassing to them and to me. If my children are acting up enough to justify punishment than we leave were ever we are and I handle punishment at home.
2 people like this
• United States
28 Feb 07
Thank you for responding. I wanted to see peoples opinions. I have to say that I'm seeing a lot of them. I want to thank everybody again for putting there opinion down on this topic. I have only been with Mylot for acouple days, and I'm personally pleased with the results on this.. Thank you everyone!!!!!!!
1 person likes this
• Indonesia
28 Feb 07
No I don't think it would be wise enough to punish the children in front of people. The child still need to be punished when the child is a bit naugthy, but I would prefer to do it privately for his/her own good. Not because I'm scared of what people's judgement. It's just that I think I wouldn't want to embarrass my child infront of strangers.
• United States
1 Mar 07
Thank you.
1 person likes this
• India
1 Mar 07
no dont think that a children can be reformed by just punishing into public. actually it depends on the nature of the children some becomes violent after punishment. and some beomes the good ones
2 people like this
• United States
1 Mar 07
Thanks you for answering.
• China
1 Mar 07
The child is wants to educate is not the penalty,only can use theeducation,the penalty to be able to let him badly
2 people like this
• United States
1 Mar 07
Thank you
@AndiCat (325)
• United States
28 Feb 07
I think it depends on what the child did to warrant the punishment. If the kid is old enough to know that what he did was wrong and understands that he will receive punishment later at home, then that should be reserved for the home base. If the child was rude to another person, then may he should be reprimanded by the parent right then and there, but not in a totally over-the-top manner. If child did something to endanger himself or another person, then he should get reprimanded at that point. I think a good "talking to" is fine in public, but save the corporal punishment for the privacy of one's own home.
• United States
28 Feb 07
Thank you for responding. I appreciate your opinion.
1 person likes this
@camjen23 (20)
• United States
1 Mar 07
You should punish a child immediately after wrong choice. If you don't the child will know that you will do nothing and will continue to act unruly in public. I don't condone physical punishments as there are many non physical alternatives in dealing with children.
2 people like this
• United States
1 Mar 07
Thanks for your opinion.
1 person likes this
@magikrose (5429)
• United States
28 Feb 07
Honestly out in public whay I do to disclipine my children is tell them that if they dont stop there behavior I will take away what ever it is I am getting them and if that dosnt work they are grounded and either my husband or I will take them out to the car to wait untill the shopping is done.
2 people like this
• United States
28 Feb 07
Thank you for responding to my discussion. I appreciate your input. I'm like seeing everybody's opinion.
1 person likes this
• Pakistan
1 Mar 07
Well I strongly agree with you on this! I am totally against punishing children in public. Although from most parents point of view it might be right but they never stop to thing the negative impact that has on children. I.e Children feel that their parents do not like or respect them and even if they do something wrong it is best to take them aside and scold them. I have seen parents hitting their kids so much in public that the on-lookers had to step in to help those helpless children. Now those children who have been verbally or physically assaulted develop a strong sense of resentment of their parents and that usually leads them to retaliate when they grow up or whenever they have the chance. It may sound far fetched but I know what I am talking about as I have experience in this.
1 person likes this
• Pakistan
1 Mar 07
I hate this double answer thing, refresh the page and it ends up with double answer ... Sorry.
1 person likes this
• United States
28 Feb 07
Honey im one of those people who truly dont care what others think of me children need to be punished when they do wrong not half an hoour later Children have short attention spans and if you wait they already forgot what they did!
1 person likes this
@NewOne (23)
• United States
28 Feb 07
Sorry. I don't agree with you. Punishing child in public is not good for you and your child (child psychology).
1 person likes this
• United States
28 Feb 07
I also don't agree. But I do want to thank you for responding. The point was to view everybodys opinions.
1 person likes this
• Canada
28 Feb 07
If kids misbehave, it needs dealing with immediately - not when you're at home or somewhere where nobody will see you. Punishing kids is acceptable and there are many forms of punishment, not just actually spanking them. When my children misbehave, I deal with it immediately because it needs adressing right then - not later when they've probably forgotten all about it. I don't spank my children, but I will use a variety of things such as taking away their game systems, grounding them and so on. They quickly realize that to have the freedom to go outdoors and to be able to play on their game system, they have to behave.
2 people like this
• United States
28 Feb 07
Thank you for responding.
1 person likes this
@NewOne (23)
• United States
28 Feb 07
Yes. I agree with you. Children should get private punish not in public.
• United States
28 Feb 07
Thank you for responding.
1 person likes this
• Canada
1 Mar 07
I was at a store once and a mother was outraged at her child, the child ( a little girl about 4) toddled behind her mother crying. She proceeded inside a store and closed the door behind her pinching the child's fingers in the door. The little girl wailed. She could have had fingers broken but the mother just pulled the child by the shoulder inside the store and scolded her. I approached her and told her that her hand had gotten pinched in the door and the woman told me to F*** off and mind my own business. I was shocked to say the least, she wasn't a bit concern that her child was hurt, she was only concerned about her own anger. I don't agree with punishing children in public and it isn't something I have witnessed much, and I am glad I don't because I was mad enough to punch this lady out.
• United States
1 Mar 07
I don't blame you for feeling that way. Thats how I felt when I saw the lady in the store treating her kids that way. I think that it is wrong. Take them to the car, or to the bathroom if you have too, but no in front of everybody!!