What would you Do?

United States
March 4, 2007 2:18pm CST
My husband and I have been married almost 27 years in June. We have this wonderful home that we keep fixing up. His folks have 80 acres of land and live on it now. He wants to build a new home out there someday and I really don't want to move to the country on a dirt road to yet. I like where I live now and don't want to move again. We have moved enough times in our life and I am happy the way our home is now and don't feel like another change. I know he wants to make his folks happy and say we will build there someday but he is 51 now and thinks he is going to build most of it himself. I am ready to have some fun and not worry about building a new home and who knows when this will happen. What would you do or say in this situation?
1 person likes this
5 responses
@weemam (13389)
18 Mar 07
I would be like you , he is not old but then maybe not young enough either to do all that work , maybe you would know best about that though , i think if it were me I would feel the same as you , you have things the way you want them , they always say you can't improve on perfection xx God bless
1 person likes this
• United States
19 Mar 07
Thanks for your input the more the merrier and helps me decide what is best to do.
1 person likes this
@quispy (573)
• United States
4 Mar 07
I think that you need to have a heart to heart with your husband. How far away are his folks? Maybe it might be feasable to build something very small on their land as sort of a vacation cottage?
• United States
4 Mar 07
They only live like 5 or 6 miles away so won't be good for a cottage home. If was further would be a good idea, Thanks
1 person likes this
@Darkwing (21590)
4 Mar 07
This is tough, but I would say your husband not only wants his parents to be proud of him building a new home on their land, but he also wants you to be proud of his achievements, so I think you're going to have to go along with it, in some way. Just because you're living on a dirt road in the country, it doesn't mean you still can't have fun, and your husband will be happier and more likely to enjoy life. Why don't you give it a try, or at least give him the opportunity to enjoy himself, and to get some self-satisfaction out of what he can do for his family as a whole. You don't say, but I imagine your kids are probably grown up now, so maybe one of them would like to inherit the house you worked so hard on to make a special home. Then, you could have the joy of visiting them, as well as making your new home, which could, incidentally, be built to your specification??? lol. I hope I've been of some help to you, but whatever you decide, I hope you will have a very happy future. Brightest Blessings.
• United States
4 Mar 07
THanks your comment means alot to me. Never really thought of it that way. Guess can't think of myself all of the time. Yes my kids are both gone and I know daughter would like home she was one who liked it when we bought it. Will think on this.
@Darkwing (21590)
5 Mar 07
Awwwwwww, I'm so glad I could help you to sort this out in your mind. I think your daughter would be over the moon, and also, you don't lose your connections with the home you so lovingly built for your family. Good luck and brightest blessings. Thank you for best response. :-)
@KrauseHome (31916)
• United States
11 Jun 07
If it personally was me, I would try to explain my Fears and reasoning for not wanting to move there. I know I would not want my husband building a home himself at his age, and he is only a couple of yrs. younger. And if this would not benefit your commutes back and forth to work, I would try to maybe come up with a list of the pros and cons concerning this, and then go from there. Hopefully he is only dreaming of this, and not really serious about considering it.
@AmbiePam (43917)
• United States
19 Mar 07
While I'm all for compromise, if his idea does not sound good to you, then I'd say do your best to communicate this to your husband, but find some way not to move. Spouses sacrifice for their other half all the time. If one though truly does it only to make the other person happy at their own expense, it usually only leads to misery. Besides, you are his priority - not his parents. When he married you, you became the most important person in his life. I know this advice is easy to give because it is not happening to me, so whatever happens, I wish you the best of luck and blessings.