How can I motivate myself in decision making.???
March 5, 2007 11:36am CST
I was born and grown up in the South,so I'm not as independent as many West students because of conservatism and shyness which original caused by feudalism in the past,and now when I get in my university, I regconise that it seems quite difficult for me to make a decision alone. Instead of prefering my friend's opinion,my parent's ideas before giving my decison like I did in my high-school time, now I feel a little bit of nervous. Why I feel nervous ? Because - I scare that my lecturer and my friends will laugh at me if I give some silly decision. - I lose my confidence if my decision is only one that means no one have the same or similar idea like me.You know, having a fellow- a person that go with you on your street is much better than going alone. - Finally, I'm a waverer. I'm easy being influenced by another people or another decision. Perhaphs, when I start to think, I try to find all the aspects of a decision (what's the best advantages I can get from this, is there any better decision that may bring to me many positive features than this one) All of these reasons make me become less confidence to make my own decision. I can list the causes,however, I don't know how to change my thoughts,how to motivate myself. Tomorrow, I will do a little bit changes. Maybe when I prepare my breakfast, I will make a quick decision if fried eggs and breads or "pho" noodle and milk are better. What do you think,and can you give me some advises if you have time? It's my pleasure.
5 Mar 07
You have listed many reasons as to why you are the way you are. and I believe you are stuck with that definition. In order to change, you need to look at things differently. This can be done, but it will take time and effort on your part. If I were you I would start small and say make 6 decisions a day with out consulting anyone, when you are comfortable doing that, increase the number. Now the biggie, You have what is described as a passive personality. the way you find out is do you see any of the following behaviors in your self:self denying,avoids conflict,allows others to choose, neglects own needs,intimidated by others. Do you have the following feelings:frustrated,anxious,hurt,resentful,inferior,Do you see the following in your life:does not achieve desired goal,victim for aggressor,relationships deteriorate.Do you find those around you take pity on you and become irritated with you. If any of what I have written is YOU then take that information and see if you can change it. NOT explain why you are this way, but change it.This is a mind set that you have to over come and reset.and these are the behaviors you will attain:honest and direct,willing to compromise,makes choices for self,considers others rights and feelings Respectful of self and others. This will make you Feel good about yourself.and you will see yourself achieve desired goals,having satisfying and caring relationships, and you will have respect, and feel valued.
5 Mar 07
just notice about you is that you have a low confidence of your self.. thats bad actually, just try to help out your self to make some decisions.. the first u have to do is, when you are making dicision is just think,what will be consenquences will happened after that, when it comes to emotionally, just try to consider those people around you,who will be hurt and who are the people get hatret with you right? but when it comes to decision making,it really comes first what really feel about,when you feel that's really you want to,g for.. then suddenly you realized that you've done wrong,thats fine, maybe next time don't do it again..u have to learned those mistake.. And dont be afraid to make decision... dont be afraid to turns ut to mistake your decision,coz its part of