Am I being an ungrateful daughter? I just can't do it everyday!

I don't think you are being ungrateful just realistic. Your mum sounds lonely or at least to be missing you a lot. Maybe you can try to shorten your calls a little, have someone at the door or ring when you know you have to go out soon, e.g. school run, appointments, things you have to do at a certain time every day. That way she gets her call and as the call is shortened you will not run out of things to say to each other. How about putting CJ on the phone when you have nothing you need to say, get him to tell her about his day - this might also give you clues to what is going on at school etc. My mum used to see me every day and ring up to watch telly together when she was really poorly,lol. She'd ring up about a nature programme or something she thought I'd find interesting. Sometimes it was inconvenient but I usually found time or promised to ring back in a minute. I'm glad I was there when she wanted me even to say nothing as I really miss her.

i faced this my self, finally I told my mother, I love her, and asked you if she loved me or the telephone billl..........lol

You have to be honest with your mom and tell her it is not just the cost of the phone call, but how much can you talk about in one day. I would rather have my daughter phone me once a week with a whole bunch of what went on in her week rather than trying to make small talk every day.So I would advise her you will be calling say Sunday afternoon and will chat with her for an hour or so rather than Hi Mom How are you Fine, whats new, nothing every day. And she should not be hurt, she should be grateful that you do care, So do not give the option, just tell her from now on I will be calling you on day at pm and we will chat for an hour minimum. It will work if you make it work

hi, since u are living distance away from her now. i think u still need to be calling her .call her even though u wont talk long with her some days. i love good relationship expecially when mum is like a friend to you.Call her dont complain

Love for a mother is not merely by talking to her everyday and don't feel ungarateful if you were not able to call her. Praying for her is the best way you can do so that she will be in good health.

I'm in a similar situation. I study abroad and my mother expects me to call her often. I think just tell her that by phoning too often, you just run out of things to say and that it's more exciting to put the calling off for a couple of days. Even if you love someone very much, it's not like you'll always have something to say. Also, if there's not much to say, your mum would just end up paying more for the phone for no good reason :) Just tell her what you've said on myLot that you love her but that you don't have to call her everyday. Good luck!

I dont think thats being ungrateful..its just being realistic. i am sure you have a lot of things going on in your life and sometimes its just not possible to talk to others on the phone - be it your mom or even friends. Just explain to her very gently that sometimes you are so tired that you just want to be alone and talking to someone on the phone is too much effort. She will be hurt a couple times but will start understanding after a while.

How can I not respond to something I have personally felt, I am in the US taking a vacation right now, and during the first month of my stay here my mom would be online everyday waiting for me to go online and know what's happening with me.. though at a certain point for me it became too exagerrated, the missing and everything, it did make me feel guilty and I also thought that am I being ungrateful? That despite my mom missing me, I am not missing them as much? There came a point that I don't really like chatting with her anymore, except like once in a while, I felt like I wanted a life of my own, and it kinda hit me hard that my mom is home thinkingof me all the time if I am doing well here, and I on the other hand want to be left alone. And I kinda hated myself for my behavior, so now I try to chat with her and entertain her questions more since I know she just wants to maintain the closeness we had when I was still home, and this is he first time that I was away from them so she really wasn't used to me not being there.

You know...my first reaction was along ht elines of, 'you need to set limits' ... but then I read the response of the person who lost her mother and had a re-think... If your mom is getting on, and is lonely, you are probably one of, if not her only, thing to look forward to in her day. It's at that point where the roles switch, and you are the caregiver, and she needs you. If it were me, I'd do the daily calls ... but I'd not feel the need to drag them on with small talk. Give her the update ... tell her s silly story about the day (may seem trivial to you, but to her it's not) then tell her you'll talk tomorrow. You aren't ungrateful ... you are just at that awkward time in life when you are wedged between being a parent, and being an adult child of an aged parent. It's not easy.

I think that your mother needs to understand that her child has an own life. You have things to do and care for. And not all the time you can talk to her and be with her. I believe you have loved your mom too much and you care for her. I can sense the way you talk that you loved her. I can suggest that you have to talk to her calmly and say sorry that you can't always be there for her to talk to. But you say to her that you loved her always and you will still communicate with her.

No, you are not an ungreatful daughter. You have your own life and you have to live it...and that is just something your mother will have top accept. You can't call her everyday qand some days even when you DO call, there will be nothing more to say than "i love you, mom."

Well, been there and I regret it. Now I'm a mother myself and I know now how my mom (she passed away) felt. I will go crazy if I didn't hear my daughter voice in a day. I'd say, just hanging there. I know it is not easy especially if you are not in the mood or busy or else....But, you meant the world to her (both your parents), she just need to hear your voice and to be heard by you. Just keep it a short conversations (if possible not more than 15 minutes) and if she keeps on going, simply said, you have to do something else and that you will call back tomorrow or named the day. Or SMS ??? Handsfree ???

Of course you're not an ungrateful daughter! I think your mother needs to understand that her daughter has a life, and that having unlimited long distance does not mean that you have to put your life on hold in order to stay on the phone with her all the time. How did she manage before you had unlimited long distance? I bet she understood then that you couldn't call her all the time. I think you need to gently explain to her that, as much as you love her, it's just not practical for you to call her every day, that there are things that you need to do during the day, and that not calling does not mean that you don't love her. Hopefully she'll understand. All the very best to you, and I hope you get this sorted.

i think its normal if ur mother want to hear your voice longer and longer because she cant she you everyday... if you dont have many times to talk to your mother, you can give her a good reason. dont forget to say that you love your mother so much. as a mother, i think she'll can accept your reason.

Since you are an adult you can simply explain to her that you are not going to change your life around and call her everyday. There is nothing wrong with setting limits with people. It is a sign that you are capable of taking care of your needs as you see fit. It sounds like there are many years of manipulative behavior that you have been trained to respond to. This is the perfect time to start correcting some things that have probably been very wrong but you were made to feel guilty over. Don't let this opportunity to create a healthier relationship with your mother pass by.

I think you are not an ungrateful daughter for you still answer her calls and you are telling the truth that you are busy. but sometimes love can be measured by the sincerity of your intentions and the time you spend with them. it really breaks your heart to hear your mom hurt but someday you will have an idea on how it feels like to be in their shoes. just make it up with her. parents are the greatest gifts God has given to us you can give her all the things that she wants or needs but nothing compares to the love sacrificed and offered for the people you care and means a lot to you

Dear you know I love you dearly but - call her! My grandmother was like this, called every day and would go on and on about nothing and it really annoyed me at times. My grandmother passed away 3 years ago and now I miss her calls. I would suggest you call her but tell her you have a limited time "CJ needs help with his school work", "I have a load of cloths in the wash I need to put in the drier" stuff like that. If that doesn't cut her calls short then just tell her "Mom I don't want to be mean but I have other things I need to do and I can't talk too long." You can also just call and say "Him Mom I just wanted to call and tell you I love you but I have a million things to do so can't talk, I'll call tomorrow and we can talk longer". If none of that works just tell her the truth, it may hurt but you need to honor your mother but you also have your own life.

No, you're not. Your mom is probably just lonely and misses you a lot since you don't live close to her. There isn't much that you can do except to just try and call her as often as you can and if you can't, you just have to tell her you can't. I know she will be hurt and all but such is life. We can't always have all the things we want. I only get to speak to my mom once a week cos' we live in different countries. It's hard but my mom understands.

I think momof2 has given the best response. I'm a mother and grandma. I also have a mother that suffered post pardon depression when I was born and as a result of that she has had nothing to do with me at all. I can not ever remember her saying I Love You and that's good if you don't love me then don't say so. I can see you love your mom and a very quick call to say your're busy but I Love You is probably all she needs to hear. I have a daughter, she has kids, very active kids, I know she's busy, it almost makes me crazy to see how busy she is. We can not see each other every day because we live apart, but she calls even when she only has a minute. I thank God for that. I wish you well and as momof2 said your mom will be gone one day. I'm so happy you've made calls to her and I'm sure she is too. Take Care

no u are not certainly an ungrateful daughter. u can hear the hurt in her voice can easily show ur love towards ur mother.tell her that u both are attached by ur hearts and distance cant break ur relationship.