RELATIONSHIPS: When you are ANGRY or MAD at your MATE, how do you REACT?

United States
March 6, 2007 3:14pm CST
We all fight with our mates, I believe it is impossible not to, so when you fight, whether it be a big fight or a small one how do you react? Do you leave the room stomping your feet? or are you a door slammer? Me, I seem to clam up and hold all my emotions in until I am alone and I will cry it out, which I realize is not the best thing to do. So how do you react when you fight?? (everyone is rated and always a best response marked)
3 people like this
9 responses
@greengal (4288)
• United States
6 Mar 07
I always have varied reactions. Depends totally on the intensity of the argument. If I'm being accused and criticized, I don't take it very well especially if its not true. I instantly get defensive and argue even more. On more sensitive issues I stay quiet and think before I speak. I tend to be very aggressive with words so I watch what I say when I'm angry. If it goes on for too long then I burst out crying! That's the only way for me to vent even when I have nothing to say. I don't speak up easily wither, if something is bothering me, it takes me a long time to open up and tell my hubby about it, poor hubby, he asks me atleast a million times..lol
2 people like this
• United States
6 Mar 07
Awww how sweet, he must truly love you, thank you for responding
@brokentia (10396)
• United States
15 Mar 07
Often times, it depends on the level of the fight or my frustration. LOL There have been times that I will storm off and just want to be alone. And sometimes, when I storm off, I will also cry because I am so hurt or so angry. Then there are times that I will lash out back. That is never pretty. ha ha Slam doors? I think there are times that I do this just because I know it upsets him more. ha ha But there are also times that I will also hold it in because I do not want to lash out with my tongue. So, I will clam up and just sit there mad. LOL
2 people like this
• United States
6 Mar 07
If it's a big fight, after all the yelling and screaming is done I will calmly walk to my room and calm myself down. Than after I am calm I will go out and apologize or he will apologize to me. If it's a small fight than usually I just go into my office for a little while and mess around on the computer and just forget about it. I don't see the need to be a foot stomper or a door slammer. When given the right amount of time things usually get worked out and things are made better.
1 person likes this
• United States
6 Mar 07
Thanks for contributing
@SpitFire179 (2536)
• Canada
17 Mar 07
usually when I'm mad at my hubby, i stew over it for a while, i really let it bubble i guess, until it gets too much for me to take anymore because i can tell I'm snapping at him and treating him like crap, and he doesn't even know why, Once i realize that i tell him what's bothering me and we have a full heart to heart. When we're done talking it over, it's all good again. We've never had a fight per say, but we have bickered back and forth as most couples do... Though i know i need to work on my approach, it seems to work for us, he seems to do the same thing, though he doesn't so much snap as sit in a chair and not look at me with his arms crossed :P Men are funny when they sulk!
@CatEyes (2449)
• United States
9 Mar 07
NOt well. I will take it for a few minutes and then I just blast at him when he won't stop. I do try to tell him to stop with the fighting, that it will not get us anywhere and that I do not like this one bit. He does not seem to listen to me at all. Oh well, thats why he gets the blasting he gets.
1 person likes this
@Denmarkguy (1845)
• United States
7 Mar 07
I guess I'd classify my style as "a reasonable discusser." I spent so many years in management and customer relations, that my "fighting style" takes on the old lessons I learned about "don't bring me problems, bring me solutions." I have what most people describe as a VERY "long fuse" and I am VERY "resolution oriented." I have had more than a few girlfriends/partners get upset with me because I won't "take the bait" or "lose my temper" with them, but would rather just have a sit-down and a "When you said that, my feelings were hurt. Can we sit down and talk about what's REALLY going on here?" discussion. I even had one scream at me "Stop being so F*%#ING adult!" I almost ended up feeling like I should apologize for being trained in mediation.... :-D Needless to say, me trying to be in a relationship with someone with a fiery temper is like pouring water on burning oil.
@LadyLudie (346)
• Philippines
7 Mar 07
I am a fighter but I am not violent.If I am angry with my mate I don't talk.At first I would confront him in a nice way and letting him know that I am angry,I would tell him:"please answer me honestly and true answers only".Once he denied,then I burst in anger but I have only few words,I control myself the best way I can,but if I can't hold my anger, I shout loud crying and then stop.then I sit down in one of the dark corner in our house crying silently and avoiding to see him.After some hours I am already in peace but still I don't want to talk to him until he will admit his faults and ask sorry.I forgive easily.
1 person likes this
@ZenDove (698)
• United States
17 Mar 07
Normally,I am an even-tempered person. I would rather laugh and talk than fight. I usually get over things in a matter of minutes. Normally. You wouldn't like me when I'm mad. Not a pretty sight. And I hold a grudge. Thankfully, I've only been mad at a handful of people in my life. Unfortunately, one of them happens to be my current husband. I have a sharp tongue and I cuss like a sailor. I always mean what I say and I say some pretty harsh things. I'm not proud of that and sometimes I'm shocked at my behavior. I am not a door-slammer, although aometimes I feel like falling down on the floor and kicking and screaming! It's not about "winning" a fight, I just want to be heard and my hubby can be maddeningly obtuse - dense, even. Lately, when I know he's cruising for an outburst, I will just clam up and not talk at all to keep from snapping off. It's difficult to actually resolve anything when emotions are that high.
• Singapore
7 Mar 07
most of the time, i will chose to use the 'silent treatment', because i believe both party will need some time to cool down and think properly. then it will be either me or him that will back down, apologize and try to patch things up again.