what should i do?
March 7, 2007 10:58am CST
i need an advise guys... im already 23 and turning 24 this august '07. i have a boyfriend for alost 2 months. our relationship is open to both parties. my boyfriend want to live together in his place but i have a big problem. im the 3rd eldest among of 8 children in our family and i have a younger brother 19 year old and his sick. he was a blue baby and he really need financial support for his medication and hospital bills. i have 2 sister in abroad a seaman brother. they earn money more than i have here.my parents are expecting me also to help them in financial but i honestly i dont help that much.i earn enogh for my needs. and this is the problem... my boyfriend wanted us to get married however, we dont have enough money for a church wedding because we're just starting our own business. we invested our savings in our business. what do you think guys?you think its complicated? we have to work on our business, my boyfriend want to live togethe and my parents are expecting me to help them financially because my brother is sick... what could you ask for?? im getting sick with this...
7 Mar 07
in my view...its better to hold marriage and try to make understand your boyfriend about the present condition..if he is a good one you have he must understand that...its the time to take care of your brother if not financially the morally itself..it will provide a support to your family...
7 Mar 07
i must admit you got a big dilemma there.i think it would be better if you'll hold off with the marriage..anyway your relationship is quite young and the fact that you're brother is sick would always be at the back of your mind.you dont have to give up your relationship with your bf but it would be better of you'll take things one at a time.like first help your parents in raising up your sick bro.if you still could then try to save even just a little amount for yourself.perhaps you shouldnt hurry with the marriage because aside from the fact that your relationship is still young, at your age i guess you're just starting a career and i believe it would be better if you could wait until you're financially stable to support both your brother and the family you are going to build.just think how hard it is if youre going to do both right now.marriage could wait anyway..it would eventually take its place at the right time.
10 Mar 07
wow... thanks for that.. obviously u understand my situation... are you a girl too? we have common in mind with regrads of this... but you know what makes it hard for me? because im deciding for my own and i dont want to be get hurt someday when i have chosen the wrong one. but since i knew that im not the one thinking of same thing... it would be easer for me to things such that. nways i know that this is the best thing to do. thanks for that
9 Aug 07
You and your boyfriend are in the right ages already for marriage but that soesnt mean you shouldnt weigh things out before you do anything. We usually suggest partners to establish their financial status first before they get married because if things werent well prepared when two people tie the knots, there will be greater trouble ahead. You must consider saving first for the wedding expenses and prepare the place where you would stay before you get married. Love can wait.
• United States
12 Mar 07
Slow down, take your time. Do not rush through life. You are young, very young. There is no need to be married or committed too early. Enjoy life for it really is quite short. There is time to do most everything. Concentrate on one thing at a time, for example: your new business. Focus on that until you feel that it is in real good shape, then focus on helping your family members, plan your wedding and your future carefully. Make a list of things you want to get done and then decide which items are of highest priority and which ones can wait a little. If your boyfriend truly loves you, he will help you with this project instead of pressuring you to do what he wants. It is not a good sign if the boyfriend is pressuring you now. It is a sign that he would like to have control over you and if not kept in check, that could very well become a big problem after marriage. Slow and steady. Good luck to you.