Compliment or insult?

@pilbara (1436)
Australia
March 7, 2007 10:54pm CST
A colleague came up to me today and said I was wearing a nice dress. She then went on to say that it must be so hard for people as big as I am to find nice clothes that fit (I'm a 16 to 18)
1 person likes this
7 responses
• United States
8 Mar 07
It is a shame that you cound not get a sincere compliment without the added insult. I am a large girl too. Larger than you. I had a similar comment from an Aunt. I was in High School and not brave enough to tell her how much she hurt me. "You have such a pretty face, it's a shame your so fat". Kind of puts a big damper on a shaky self esteem. I got over it and I am tougher now. The comments still hurt. I don't have time for small minded people who don't look past the exterior and dig a little deeper to find the wonderful person inside. Don't let small minded people bother you. I had a teacher once who told me that the other kids that teased me really liked me and they just didn't know how to tell me. I kind of gave me a little secret to carry with me and make the nasty comments not hurt so much. Treat people like you want to be treated. The ones who don't get the message are not worth your time. I don't know you, but I would say you are an intelligent, caring person. Just be the special person you are. Don't stoop to their level.
@beckish (612)
• United States
8 Mar 07
Some people simply don't realize how badly their words come across. Is she a nice person? If so, then I would think she meant the compliment and her mouth just didn't stop with the rest of it. She probably realized how bad it sounded after she said it and didn't know how to fix it without making it even worse. I would accept the compliment and not worry about the rest.
2 people like this
• United States
8 Mar 07
I would take that as an insult That is very rude of her to say. I would of told her that i didn;t appreciate that comment and it was very rude to say
2 people like this
• Canada
8 Mar 07
I would take that as an insult . That is terribly rude to say to someone . Just because of a person's size does not mean that they should have a harder time trying to find something nice . And a 16 to 18 is not that big .
2 people like this
@bonbon50 (659)
• United States
8 Mar 07
They refer to this as a 'left-handed compliment'. Yes, I would consider it rude, as most left-handed compliments are. And sizes 16-18 aren't really 'big'. There is nothing more envy envoking than when someone has confidence. Don't let this snooty witch get under your skin, rather, swing those hips a bit more when you sash-ay by her!
@pilbara (1436)
• Australia
8 Mar 07
She didn't get under my skin, it was more like what are you going on about. I'm a bit bigger than I would like, but am healthy and go to the gym and my husband likes the way I look so nothing along those lines really bothers me.
• Philippines
8 Mar 07
Insult, I guess. Maybe you are really wearing a nice dress but it doesnt look good on you. Its not the dress or you Im after at now. Its you colleague that needs a makeover!
1 person likes this
• United States
8 Mar 07
complete insult, but maybe they didn't mean it that way, but i was still insulting because you never mention somebody overcomming their faults inside of your complement, ya know?
1 person likes this