What would you have said ??

@weemam (13377)
March 11, 2007 8:23am CST
Ok I am cuddly I admit it , but I get on with everyone , I have loads of friends , and I would not knowingly hurt a fly . About two years ago I was at Mum and Dads visiting and someone I knew for years back came walking along the road , now me being me I smiled and said Hiya how are you ? . long time since I've seen you and you are looking well, She turned round and said "Oh! I would never have recognised you as you have put on such a lot of weight , I wanted to cry , I just got into my car and drove off , To be honest ( I don't mean to be horrible here ) but she is one of the ugliest women I know , I felt like saying , " I can loose the fat ( which I have done) but you will never be good looking " it still gets to me yet when I think about it ,It is not in me to be horrible to someone , I never have ,, What would you have done ?
20 people like this
61 responses
@mummymo (23707)
11 Mar 07
Would probably have told her that I was happy as I was and that I had put on the weight because I was so happy, contented and loved! Then told her that you could see she hadn't put on ANY weight before smiling sweetly and saying goodbye! xxx
4 people like this
@weemam (13377)
11 Mar 07
nice one pal thanks xx
2 people like this
@raydene (9874)
• United States
11 Mar 07
I would have done just what you did and my feelings would have been so hurt that I would have cried myself silly. It's not what people look like on the outside anyway,it's what's in their heart and I can tell your heart is full of sweetness.Hug Hug Raydene
3 people like this
@weemam (13377)
11 Mar 07
thank you so much raydene xx
@weemam (13377)
11 Mar 07
thank you so much raydene xx
@weemam (13377)
11 Mar 07
thats exactly what happened fairytoes xx
@joshdale08 (2324)
• Philippines
11 Mar 07
don't worry, what you're feeling is normal. i'd have reacted in the same way, even mouthed the words you failed to say. lol! but there are just some people who don't think first before they say anything. i mean, if you can't say anything nice at all, then don't say anything! as if the measurement for beauty is the weight! one can only wonder about the way she was brought up.
@weemam (13377)
11 Mar 07
thanks josh xx
1 person likes this
11 Mar 07
Well Im your son and you KNOW what I wouldve said if I got the chance.
2 people like this
@weemam (13377)
11 Mar 07
I know you would have stood up for me pal , thats why i love you so much xx
• United States
12 Mar 07
What wonderful support you have! You MUST be a wonderful person to have such love in your life! :D
@loujac3 (1188)
• United States
12 Mar 07
This is an all too common an occurance. You could have said,"OMG, I never noticed, give me a mirror quick, I must see this for myself!" I wouldn't be surprised if that person is really miserable inside and just takes it out on others. She sounds like she has a personality problem. It is probably best that you did what you did and left her to live with herself. With friends like that, who needs enemies? It sounds like you are the better person for it all and you would never hurt anyone intentionally. Good for you!
2 people like this
@weemam (13377)
12 Mar 07
love the answer loujac lol xx
@CatEyes (2449)
• United States
12 Mar 07
I have gained over 50 pounds last year and I had some people who did the same thing. I even had my soon to be sister in law say she never wanted to get pregnant and never ever wanted to be fat like me! I was so insulted and she is way toooo skinny. I was very skinny my self (105) at 5.4, but she weighs like in the 80s and she is 5.2 Too sad that people think this way and say the most horrid things.
2 people like this
@weemam (13377)
12 Mar 07
I know I am fat cat but I can honestly say hand on heart , I would hate to be skinny , In the middle I would love lol but not skinny xx
@leksis12 (21)
• Philippines
12 Mar 07
I would have said: "HUH? I'M FAT? I HAVENT NOTICED BECAUSE I WAS TOO BUSY STARING AT YOUR UGLY FACE!" lol I would never say that... I am really sensitive whenever people comment on my weight because I used to be slim and fit. So wheneve they say.. "hey, you're getting fat or getting chubby' Ill say-" I know Isn't it great?" heheehhe
2 people like this
@weemam (13377)
12 Mar 07
good one leksis thanks xx
@MsTickle (24994)
• Australia
11 Mar 07
Being sensitive and self conscious about my weight, I would have done exactly the same as you. And I would have come up with the same brilliant comeback after the event. And I would mean to be horrible and I would say (scuse me) f'ugly. This person is ugly through and through, not just outside but inside as well. I guess we should really feel sorry for people like that. These are the people my dad said I should "kill with kindness"...generally tho, they leave you devastated and numb and even if you come up with the thought your words would be incoherent. Never mind weemam, I love you the way you are and I'm sure many others do as well.
@weemam (13377)
11 Mar 07
you are a sweet person MsTickle thank you xx
@gabs8513 (48715)
• United Kingdom
11 Mar 07
Well Weemam first of all do not let someone like that upset you. I am so sorry as far as I am concerned she was very rude and Horrible for that matter. And to be Honest, I am not a horrible Person either, but I think I would have turned around and said that to her. It would have served her right. Don't let anyone get to you like that. It is the Person that counts and you are one lovely Person.
2 people like this
@weemam (13377)
11 Mar 07
thanks gabs what a lovely thing to say xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
@greylady (153)
• United States
11 Mar 07
I think I'd have looked at her, raised an eyebrow, and said "Hey, I am who I am and I'm happy. What's your problem?" Actually, it's not something I would have done. It's somethin I DID do although the comment that was made was a little different.
2 people like this
@weemam (13377)
11 Mar 07
thanks a lot and welcome to my lot as you can see it is fun xx
11 Mar 07
I think I would have been shocked and knowing me made some excuse as to why i had put on weight, as most women do. Afterwards, I would have felt horrible and ranted about the woman like you did. Then I would have come to my senses and thought if that is all she can say after I have not seen her for ages, what a sad and shallow woman she is as I eat a big cream cake with my tea!!!
2 people like this
@weemam (13377)
11 Mar 07
lol thanks pal you made me laugh xx
@kathy77 (7488)
• Australia
11 Mar 07
I would of done exactly the same as you did that is dreadful when you have not seen anyone in a long time and they greet you by saying something like that so I would of jumped in my car and drove away and hopefully never seen that person again.
2 people like this
@weemam (13377)
11 Mar 07
Thanks Kathy but I have lost some weight and she will still be ugly , that sounds so horible though doen't it ? xx
@hopeful28 (1439)
• Singapore
11 Mar 07
Hi weeman, the sharing of your experience reminded me of something similar which happened to me just a few months back. I am a very sensitive person I admit, especially where weight is concerned. So, when this lady whom I have not seen for a few years in church turned up again one Sunday, the moment she laid eyes on me she exclaimed loudly, 'Wow, you have put on a LOT of weight!!' And as if that was not enough she turned to her husband and still not lowering her voice asked HIM to look at me to confirm her statement! I didn't know where to look because there were a lot of people mingling all around us. If I had a drill with me then, I would have drilled a real big hole and jumped into it. As it was, I am thankful I was near a staircase and I just mumbled something like 'yeah, I know and nice seeing you again.' after which I said I needed to do something and quickly went off. Talk about people who are thoughtless and just shoot their mouths off without bothering if it is hurting or not. I admit I am not a very quick thinking person and in my embarrassment I didn't even think to retort to her statement. I was in such a hurry to disappear! When I thought about it after that though, I wouldn't be off the mark if I had replied that she would be glad to know that now I understand what it is like to be fat like her!! My dear weeman, I'm not surprised you feel bad about it - I do too. I feel hurt each time I think about it.
@weemam (13377)
11 Mar 07
I am like you I don't fight back but yes when I thought about it later I could have gone and found her and punched her lol , i would never do that in a million years but I ws just so hurt , but I know JUST how you felt , xx
@honeyangel (1992)
11 Mar 07
what a cheek,i would have been gobsmacked as a cuddle woman my self i would said yes i know all the more for my family to love
2 people like this
@weemam (13377)
11 Mar 07
good one honey , xxxxx
@wolfie34 (26792)
• United Kingdom
11 Mar 07
What a cheeky cow! I was so enraged at hearing that, how dare she! If she can't make kind remarks then don't make a remark at all. I know you wouldn't have snapped back because you are not like that, you are very sensitive and not the least bit nasty, in fact you don't have a vicious bone in your body! I think I would have retaliated, because they don't mean a thing to me. You are lovely how you are don't ever change x
2 people like this
@weemam (13377)
11 Mar 07
you know something my friend? you are a very special guy and I treasure you as my friend xxxxxxx
• United States
11 Mar 07
I probably would have been to shocked to say anything back either ~ that was a hateful thing to say back like that. You certainly were not expecting that with your friendly hello. If I had said anything at all, it probably would have been to say something like "that may be true, but it's a nasty thing to greet someone with." or in a sarcastic tone, "thanks, you've really made my day." I guess she is ugly inside and out!
2 people like this
@weemam (13377)
11 Mar 07
thanks shady my hubby knew her years ago and that is exactly what he said , I am beginning to feel sorry for her now , I have so much to be thankful for xx
• Canada
11 Mar 07
Oh weemam... that's dreadful! :( I honestly believe that I wouldn't have had to say anything because she would have seen my reaction in my face LOL I have this thing where I go very red in the face and neck when I'm upset and there's no way I can stop it or hide it... so my emotions are quite plain to anyone who can see me. But some people are just so rude and unthinking! As someone who has also gained some weight over the years (haven't we ALL?!), it surprises me that people seem to think we don't know it! Honestly. I don't need someone to reinforce it to me, thanks so much. I'm not one for stooping to mud-slinging or anything, either, so I believe I would have simply glared at her, turned my back and left. People like her just aren't worth any of your time or effort. Chin up, weemam! :) You're doing great ... don't let her callousness get you down.
2 people like this
@weemam (13377)
11 Mar 07
it did at the time but my feelings are easy hurt but I don't show it , I was more taken aback than anything , xx
@LindaLou (483)
• Canada
11 Mar 07
Wow! What a terrible thing for someone to come out and say. Obviously the woman has no tact or diplomacy skills at all. Is she normally nasty? I probably would have said something like "Oh well, thanks so much for pointing that out" but in a very sarcastic tone of voice. Then I would have proceeded to leave the area where she was, as you did. Now that you've lost the weight you can always go back and show off! Get some revenge by looking fabulous, when, as you said, she'll still be ugly! :) Actually though, you should probably thank her because sometimes it is the brutally honest, hurtful, but verbalized opinions that spur us into action to do what we've known we needed to do for awhile. She may have come into your life at that particular moment for just that reason...
@weemam (13377)
11 Mar 07
you might just be right , but no way am I gonna thank her lol xx
3 people like this
@eshuniki (132)
• India
12 Mar 07
Hey i hav been in the similar situation many times and i too keep wondering wat they got to do with how i look.But its probably thrie nature to mouth things at others.I think that they r so dissatisfied with themselves that they try to find problems in others.
2 people like this
@lauriefnp (5112)
• United States
12 Mar 07
I probably would have felt the same way as you did and would have done the same thing. Some people are ignorant enough not to think before they speak, and others are just plain cruel. Either way, if you had stooped to her level it would never have made you feel any better for longer than a few minutes. After that, you would have felt bad for saying something so hurtful, no matter how much she deserved it. Hold your head high and know that you are a better person.
2 people like this