Are you willing to change to keep your partner?

March 11, 2007 10:24pm CST
If you loved someone so much, that you couldn't picture life without them and It is a STRONG LOVE. Would you be willing to change yourself if your partner asked? I'm not exactly talking about "big" changes. Little things although it would be nice to hear how far you'd change yourself or even If you wouldn't. ----/For myself/--------------------------- I seriously would. As most of us grow older we do forget what it is our partners like and don't like. If this was to happen to myself, I'd change myself as much I had to remain with my wife. Even if it meant losing myself, although I doubt I would. (I try to be the best I can be) - Which isn't always easy although I love being the way I am because to many people where I live only care about themselves. Care to share? ~Joey
15 people like this
67 responses
@simplycza (1480)
• Philippines
12 Mar 07
hi joey, if its for the better then why not? :)
1 person likes this
• Romania
12 Mar 07
Changing for the better ... thats something discusible ... is it better for you ? or for her/him ? I think that if that you care for someone you will not try to change him/her .
1 person likes this
@azpro11 (136)
• India
12 Mar 07
I would love to change myself for my partner n even i m trying to do so.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
12 Mar 07
If you really love someone, you always make it a point to that you pleased him/her everyday each and every way. One way of pleasing the person you love is doing the things he/she like and not doing the things that would annoy him/her. It should be a two way relationship, meaning, both parties should make the necessary adjustments or changes in order to have a better and harmonious relationship. I believe that it would be definitely be unfair if only the other person changes for the other....
1 person likes this
@Gwapako_28 (2142)
• Philippines
12 Mar 07
yes, i would and i did that once in my life.ive changed and it helps me to grow more as a woman and a mother.it is really hard at first, but just to keep holding on and for your partner, you can do that with all your heart as long as its not for the worst but for the better you!
• Thailand
12 Mar 07
yes, especially if its badly affecting your relationship. i don't mind as long as he is willing to change too. of course only those bad habits. not immediately but slowly. =D
1 person likes this
@charms88 (7541)
• Philippines
12 Mar 07
After 8 years of being married, I have certainly changed a lot. I still retain some of my old self. I have to admit that I can't totally transform myself into somebody my husband likes me to be. I am me when he met me. I can change if I know it will be for the better. I accepted some of his flaws and my husband, likewise do the same. I can say that I'm more focus in life now. More knowledgeable, matured and wiser.
@juliefaye (1214)
• Philippines
12 Mar 07
For the sake of love, yes! but there are some things to consider if these things are to make a relationship more harmonius or it would be beneficial not for the two of you but for people around you. Sometimes love alone can change anyone or anything.
1 person likes this
@Joey322 (272)
• United States
12 Mar 07
this is interesting and something that i think almost every person who has ever been in a serious relationship has gone through.... the funny thing about relationships is that no one should ever have to "change" who they are in order to be with the other person. we should always accept our partners for who they are. that being said.... there will always be those moments when we want our partners to do more or do something differently. i wouldn't necessarily call that changing, just modifying perhaps. the occasional "tweak", if you will. for example: my husband had great hair when we met. it was very sexy and it was a great style for him. for some unkown reason he decided to shave it, not bic-ed to the scalp, but buzzed VERY close. i didn't like it all. i didn't say much except that i liked it better the other way. before i knew it, he had let it grow out a bit and then shaved it again!! i was so upset. i asked him, this time, to please let it grow back to the old way b/c i found him to be soooo much more attractive. he said that when he got back from his deployment he would grow it back. i let it go. that was me accepting him for who he is...egg shaped head and all! now, i was in a relationship (not my husband) many years ago. i was sure this guy was THE ONE. we even had daydreams of graduating college and getting married..the whole nine yards. well, i was a bit of a dumb college girl and we were in a long distance relationship. things started to get tough and i broke up with him. i didn't think i really wanted to break up with him, but i couldn't stand the distance. anyway..... later, i tried to get back with him, but the damage had already been done. i tried everything i could think of to get back with him. it was awful. i had completely lost myself in effort to be this person i thought he wanted. even then, he still didn't want me anymore. point is.....some relationships work and some don't. the ones that work are full of compromise, but are compiled of 2 individuals who love and respect one another. the ones that don't work are full of people trying to be something they aren't just so they don't have to try to live life alone, which, in the grand scheme of things, is much better than living life falsely. take care:)
@joby_09 (498)
• Philippines
12 Mar 07
Changes occur naturally when you love a person. You'll just realize you've already changed because you love the person. You don't want to hurt them with your bad traits. You want to be the best for them. Even if they don't tell you to change, you'll do it for them because you feel like doing it. And unconsciously, you are already a good person! =)
@jcvernz (477)
• Philippines
12 Mar 07
i do agree with you joby...it's a human instinct to change...because nothing is constant in this world except change, right?
• China
16 Mar 07
if those changes my lover askes me to do are good for me, i will probably do it.
@ma_lorena (178)
• Philippines
16 Mar 07
i really love my husband and i intend to change everything to keep our relationship strong. well good changes of course.. not worst coz i will not tolerate wrong path.. and i admire those who have pure feelings of love towards her/his partner. and i admire you. keep it up!
@kgwat70 (13396)
• United States
13 Mar 07
I would be willing to change in order to keep my partner, though I do not feel that a partner should want you to change. They should love you just the way you are which is why they married you or are being with you in the first place. A person should love a person for who they are already and not try and make a person change. I would certainly make small changes though, especially if I knew it would make me a better person as well as making her like or love me even more.
@clod0327 (817)
• Philippines
13 Mar 07
I think I would try to change if my partner asks me to change just so I can be with him. But only if those changes is for the betterment of our relationship and us. And as long as those changes are not against my beliefs and values. For example, if I’m a smoker (although I’m not), and my partner asks me to quit smoking because we all know that it’s really bad for our health. Then I would try to quit smoking. But if my partner and me have different religion and he ask me to change religion, I don’t think I can do it. Because I have grew up having this beliefs and I know that it will not do any harm in our relationship. So I don’t think there’s no need for me to change my beliefs just to please my partner.
• Philippines
13 Mar 07
well, if you mean "little"things, then i would probably change for it is what my partner likes and if it will make him happy..but if i change that i will become a new me, no way..if you really love me, you'll accept me whoever i am..
@mjgarcia (725)
• United States
13 Mar 07
I believe in change and compromise, but not on the issues of who you are. For example, I wouldn't change my religious beliefs for my husband. I would try to see his point of view, but to just change to please him - no. If he were to decide something that was not healthy for our children, I wouldn't change to back that. But I do change for the little things. And he does for me too. I watch political tv shows because he likes them. He puts up with my Stargates and Star Treks. He only believes in non-fiction and I love to write fiction. He's big on exercise and healthy eating and I'm a couch potato that loves junk food-but although I don't get off the couch much, I try to buy healthy food.
• United States
13 Mar 07
That would depend on what it was my partner wanted me to change. After-all,if I changed something that was a crucial part of me, then I wouldn't be me anymore, would I? If it was some annoying habit, or something like that, I wouldn't hesitate to work on it though.
• Philippines
13 Mar 07
as for me my partner loves me for who i am and accepted me for who i am and i do as well for him. i would not change anything about myself since it would not be me after all. because qualifying youself to soothe your partner's desires and everything that is something i wouldnt do. i do believe in making compromises but not changing the little aspect of me that makes me. for loveisnt all about conditions but its UNCONDITIONAL and should have been like that, but human as we are we tend to qualify love but as for me i do restrain myslef to qualify love and jsut be myself and let my man accept me and love me for what i am adn who i am and i do the same for him as well.
• Philippines
13 Mar 07
i am very willing to change my bad ways for the one i love but i will not change my good ways for him. its because if its a good thing about me then theres nothing to be changed.
@Lavera1 (897)
• United States
13 Mar 07
Sometimes change could be a good thing. But if your spouse is a demanding person trying to control your life then change would be a bad thing. People are always trying to change one another. And if the whole world were just like me what a boring place it would be. We need change and variety. I believe that what I'm weak in that my partner would be strong in and what I'm strong in my partner would be weak in. We're to help and assist and want the best for each other and not criticize each other. So if you're okay with changing yourself; cool. Be happy.
@hottie0728 (1732)
• United States
13 Mar 07
Hmmm...I can change but not entirely! I believe that a person should be loved for what they are but some instances don't work that way. My bf used to be a "player" and he promised that he would change and I think he did. he haven't been flirting with anyone so far and hopefully that's for good. I believe I have changed a little bit too to make our relationship work. I used to be really bratty and I don't really care even if I'm hurting his feelings before. Now...I seem to care more and I try to avoid any fights! I hate arguing...