MY UNCLE SENDs MONEY TO WOMEN IN PRISON!!!!...

United States
March 12, 2007 6:50pm CST
I could care less but it's NOT his money he's sending! It's my grandfathers! He told me this in confidence and I need to know if I should tell my mom (his sister) because she is my grandfather's power of attorney. He gets access to my grandfathers money once a week in a blank check to do the grocery shooping for him and my gramps. (he was primary caregiver for my gramps but now gramps is in a nursing home) My uncle still lives at gramps house. So what he has been doing is writing the check over the grocery amount for cash and sending money to inmates at various prisons. My Uncle is disabled and can not work (and has yet to receive a disabilty check.) I feel I should tell my mom about this but I don't want to deceive my uncle because he asked me not to. Any advice would be greatly appreciated on this matter. I don't know what to do. Please help me!
2 people like this
9 responses
@raydene (9875)
• United States
13 Mar 07
Hi I would first tell him that you are very unconfortable knowing about something you are so against.Tell him that the money isn't his to spend on inmates or anything else.He is stealing! I would then tell your mother immediately. I feel sorry that your uncle is disabled but that's no reason to be dishonest. If you keep this secret from your mother that would be dishonest of you. I have the feeling that down deep you know what the right thing to do is but maybe looking for alittle validation. Take Care R
1 person likes this
• United States
13 Mar 07
That's a good idea I will tell him that I am uncomfortable knowing that he is down right stealing. I think he thinks that is okay because my gramps has a lot of money (and he is 92) and my unlce will inherit one third of gramps estate. Yes deep down I know what I should do I am really just looking for validation. Thanks raydene!
1 person likes this
@raydene (9875)
• United States
13 Mar 07
You're welcome hon anytime R
1 person likes this
@mbizmom (237)
• United States
16 Mar 07
Your uncle asked you not to say anything because he knows he's doing something wrong. You definitely need to say something about this, he's stealing from your grandfather. Tell your mom and let her decide what would be best to do.
1 person likes this
• United States
16 Mar 07
Thank you so much for your reply!
@Impervious (1154)
• United States
14 Mar 07
First I would confront him and if it does not come to an abrupt end. Then you'll drop a dime. Second, being disabled is not an excuse for not earning money for himself, My buddy is missing both legs and yet he shows up for work every day. he needs to know that what he is doing is way wrong
1 person likes this
• United States
16 Mar 07
You are right he should do some kind of work He wont even clean up after himself my mom has to drive there once a week to do the cleaning! Thanks Impervious!
• United States
14 Mar 07
well i would tell your mom especially when its not his money hes sending to the imates and he should be getting food not sending to other people who don't desire it and i would tell your sister especially when she is the power of attory over his money i would do this
1 person likes this
• United States
16 Mar 07
Thanks jessicamom!
@Starline (681)
• United States
14 Mar 07
I cant belive your uncle. That is so rude of him to send money that isn't his. You should bring it up with him. I hope that he stops!!
1 person likes this
• United States
16 Mar 07
I hope he does too. He will one way or the other. Thanks starline.
@fpd1955 (2075)
• United States
13 Mar 07
It's wrong what your Uncle is doing. I think you should tell him that. Alos, tell him that if he doesn't tell your mom, you are going to tell her. Give him the opportunity to fess up. If he doesn't, well then he has been warned of the consequences. You can't let this eat at you. It is a secret that should not be kept and you are very justified in telling. Don't let him make you feel guilty for telling, either. You are not the one who is doing wrong.
1 person likes this
• United States
16 Mar 07
Thank you fpd! I will give him a chance to tell her first good suggestion!
@imsilver (1669)
• Canada
13 Mar 07
You should sit down and talk with your uncle. Tell him that you feel uncomfortable knowing what he's doing. Don't be accusing but tell him that you were brought up to know that what he's doing is stealing and that it's wrong. Tell him that he's got to stop and go to your mom or you will tell her. Just because your grandfather is elderly and suffers from dementia doesn't mean that he deserves to be treated like this. I think what your uncle is doing is awful and wrong and like another poster said.. you know it's wrong. If he doesn't stand up to the plate and talk to your mom, you are going to have to.
1 person likes this
• United States
13 Mar 07
I know.Now all's I have to do is get the courage to put this ball in motion. Thanks imsilver!
@howard96h (11665)
• New York, New York
13 Mar 07
Your grandpa might have a "will" and you don't know if later he wants some money to go to your mom or you or anyone else in the family, and now your uncle is blowing it on prison chicks. I am sorry, I would say something. I would tell my mom to say that the bank called to check on a transaction that was made or something to that effect. Too bad this money your uncle is getting isn't put on a debit card that way it will show where all the money is being spent. If Uncle will do this to his own father he will easily do it to you or anyone else. Sorry, I would let the cat out of the bag!
1 person likes this
• United States
13 Mar 07
That is a very good suggestion howard. I will tell my mom this about the bank calling her. Thank you !
@MarkyB21 (1545)
16 Mar 07
It's been a while since you started this thread and I was wondering if you've made any progress. Have you talked to your uncle and/or Mom about it? Do you know why your uncle wants to send money to women in prison? That seems very unusual to me. I hope it all works out ok.