March 13, 2007 3:42am CST
Here's something someone close to my heart shared. Who can relate? What do you think? Any advise? "Life certainly has a funny way of putting you in your place. You think you have it so great. You meet a guy. You like him. You go out, have a wonderful time together. He seems to like you back. And then, just when things are going so well, disaster strikes. He doesn’t call. Worse, he doesn’t reply when you initiate the communication. And one is left wondering, was it all in your head? Did you just imagine the chemistry? Or, as most women are likely to do, did you just read too much into his actions? It’s a hard blow to one’s pride to be treated in such a cavalier manner. I guess a woman is better off in the olden days when she just waits for a man to make all the moves. In these modern times, a woman is never really sure if she comes off a subtle flirt or too forward. I am never sure! And that leaves me where I am right now, writing this stupid piece, listening to cheesy love songs and staying up late into the night asking myself where it all went wrong. Lest I come off as such a drama queen, I was not in love. For someone who has never been in a relationship and, let’s face it, someone who has never been pursued much less courted, it can be such a thrill when a guy pays you attention. It’s pathetic really! How the simplest word, the smallest gesture can be such big deals. As much as it pains me to admit it, all this is my fault. The poor guy is an innocent bystander in this wreck. It’s just that it felt so good having someone to talk to, to be with. It made the tedium of everyday living more bearable. I felt. I was more alive. It may sound corny but everything was more beautiful, more colorful, more exciting. It reminded me of how I felt when I was in the throes of my high-school crushes. That knot you feel in the pit of your stomach when you know you’re about to see him. Well, I feel differently now. That knot has turned into a gnawing ache since realizing how foolish I have been. I’ve heard it said somewhere that you can’t depend on someone to make you feel alive. You’ll have to do that on your own. Turns out they’re right but it just feels so damned good having someone make you feel that way. It’s 2:10 in the morning and I am still up, obviously. Putting my emotions on paper has certainly made me feel a little bit better. I am still listening to cheesy love songs and I fear that there will be many more sleepless nights to come. But I welcome them. For the longest time, I was content on drifting along. This experience made me appreciate the fact that I am alive. That I am still capable of feeling. That, someday, I will find love. But for now, let me wallow in the doldrums of unrequited “love”. I find it cathartic. I have come out a better person from this experience. I always considered myself an optimist but in the years that passed I have lost that. Well, I am once again optimistic. But this time my hopes are more rooted in reality. Life certainly has a funny way of putting you in your place. And, oddly enough, it has reasons for doing so."
• United States
13 Mar 07
You are mature beyond your years. You have explained the situation well and have acknowledged your feelings. This is not a stupid piece, as you call it. I can relate to many of your feelings. You explained yourself quite masterfully. Impressive writing. You have had a glimpse at how life can be for yourself and it doesn't matter if you are with someone or alone. You can not expect someone to bring you joy and happiness and fulfillment. That must come from within. You will find your love to the extent that you love yourself. Remain ever optimistic and realize that the experience was well worth your involvement. You have lost nothing, only gained an insight into your inner world and the possibilities. That is precious. Do not spend much time wallowing in the past thinking about what could have been. That will keep you froming knowing what could be right now.
14 Mar 07
Maybe you felt the spark but it wasn't vice versa. Don't waste your time on that guy he was just too good to be true. Maybe this is not yet the time for you to have someone but don't worry your Mr. Right will come sooner than you think. Love yourself girl...Do a make over then go out and maybe the right guy is just waiting around the corner.;P
13 Mar 07
I'm not exactly sure how old you are but you look young to me from your picture. You just have to be patient . Love will find you much easier than trying to find it yourself. That's what I told my sons as they were growing up. It is very interesting for me to see the young womans point of view. I got married young and have been married for 26 years now. I remember swooning over my husband untill he finally asked me out. I did not have to wait long for my true love. I guess that I am one of the fortunate ones. But don't worry it will happen for you and you will "know". Make sure that you don't settle for less.
13 Mar 07
I admire your courage and honesty. Don't worry too much about it though, as you said, you came out a better person with this experience. We are all destined to meet our partner in the right place and time. Keep it up and don't stop loving. We'll never learn true love without getting hurt.
• Delhi, India
14 Mar 07
I have carefully read your thoughts and experience. I would suggest you tht do not feel so disheartened, dejected and disappointed. Treat it as one of your expereinces. Whatever the boy did to you was absolutely wrong. You felt like that you have been deceived and cheated. Thank God that you could get rid of that nasty fellow sooner than later. God is Great, he will come to your rescue. People are unpredictable. You cannot imagine what they will do. But remember one thing, that you were right or whatever you did for your relationship, you did it in true and fair spirit. It was he, who ruined the relationship. Best of Luck, and By happy and alway keep on similing. Friends like me are with you and share your concern.
• United States
14 Mar 07
That sounds so much like me the first time I thought I had fell in love. That was so long ago. lol. There is probably nothing you can tell your friend that will make her feel better right now. The pain will ease and she will find someone else and eventually probably "Mr. Right" and live happily ever after, but she probably won't think that's possible for awhile. The only advice I have is not to wallow in her pain too long. There is a lot of other men out there.