My best friend has stolen my baby's name...

Pakistan
March 13, 2007 11:21am CST
When i last visit my best friend, she was pregnant and expecting baby boy. I shared with her that i like name "Momin" that would be name of my baby boy. and now when i visited her elder sister she told me that she gave birth to baby boy and gave him name "Momin". I was shocked when listened that. I thought that was my name. How could she steal my baby's name. I was really upset on this. This really matters for me. I am emotionally attach to that name and she didnt care about this. Am i right for being upset on this or i am just over reacting on whole matter? What should i do?
3 people like this
18 responses
@Madona1 (2097)
• Gibraltar
14 Mar 07
I think one of the reasons both of you become best friends is you have a lot in common. So when you choose a name for your unborn child, your friend who hasn't decided which one yet, she would just give the same name to her child. Obvioulsy she didn't realize you would be upset with this after being your best friend, otherwise I believe she would n't do that to you. On the contrary, you should be flatter by your best friend gave the same name as your child. This will keep your friendship closer and this friendship will keep going between your child and her child.
2 people like this
• Pakistan
14 Mar 07
ya may be. But my heart is not going to believe on this. See my brain can accept this justification but heart cant. My heart continously saying that i lost something very special. My friend is not bad but what she did was not good.
1 person likes this
• United States
14 Mar 07
WOnderful sentiment! My cousin's wife offered a peace resolution with me by flattering me with the remark that she always remember her favorite cousin! :-)
@subspeed (160)
• Maldives
14 Mar 07
umm .. i don't think so .. She didn't steal the name .. its her right to give a name she desire to her baby. And if you were so emotionally attached to the name, you should not have told your best friend Even if you told her, you should have said how you felt about the name and asked her to leave that name for you to call your baby ................. But still don't worry. You can also call your baby 'momin' it don't matter. And next time don't trust anyone.
1 person likes this
@altari (23)
• United States
14 Mar 07
I kind of agree. I mean, after all, you have a pregnant friend, who is already looking for baby names [I didn't name any of my daughters until they were a few hours old]. You tell her how much you love a certain name, and since she loves you [she must, if you're best friends] why wouldn't she also love what you love? It would peeve me a little, but I wouldn't be too upset over it. Just chaulk it up to thinking you were giving a suggestion, unless she tells you otherwise.
1 person likes this
• Pakistan
14 Mar 07
Ya i know she has every right to take any name even Momin. And i know i can also give my baby the same name. But it really hurt me alot. I am feeling like i lost something very special to me.
• Netherlands
16 Mar 07
i think you forgot to tell her that the name was very important to you! in that case i think she wouldn't used it! and ofcourse you can use the same name if you want to. but is this a boys name? i mean maybe you give birth to a girl!
@quatelmon (955)
• United States
13 Mar 07
I think you have every right to be upset about this. Is this a common name, or not? Even if it is a common name, it doesn't sound like she had this name picked out before. I know you're attached to the name, but you should really talk to your friend about it. I don't think that you should give up your friendship with her over it, but you definitely need to let her know how you feel.
@shadow9 (238)
• Romania
13 Mar 07
maybe she thought that it is a cool thing ... like some people name their baby's after there parents, grandparents, friends and stuff (not so shure that's the case) you should talk to her and see why she did that ... if she did steal it just because she liked it then it is bad and you should be upset but i don't think it should ruin your friendship forever ... talk to her and see how she talks, decide then what will happen ...
1 person likes this
• Pakistan
14 Mar 07
No its not like i m ending my friendship with her over this. But i just hurt. But i also think she doesnt know the attachment i have for that name. I just share with her that i would name my baby. And thats it. But even than i dont really feel good when i came to know about this.
@carlaabt (3505)
• United States
14 Mar 07
You could still give your baby the same name. I wouldn't be upset if someone chose to give their baby the name I wanted to give my son. One of my neighbors told me she was thinking about naming her son Elliott (which is my son's name) if she has a boy. I wasn't at all offended. She said she chose it because she likes it so much. I choose to take it as a compliment. She said she would have never thought of it if she didn't know me and my son.
1 person likes this
• Pakistan
14 Mar 07
I agree. If she wanted to take my baby's name afterward that would also fine with me. But you know i choose that name since last 2-3 years and for my first baby. This is something very special, very important. And she took that from me.
14 Mar 07
It is possible that your friend did not know about your emotional attachment to this particular name,which is why she happily took that name for her son.However,if you are so attached to that name,there is no harm in giving that name to your baby.Just tell her that you felt bad when she took that name for her son because you have special memories/feelings attached to that name.It would be good if she can agree to changing the name of her son but I think it is unlikely to happen.so please stop brooding over and just tell her calmly that it did hurt you.But be careful since you donot want to break friendship with her,and between close friends,things can go wrong unexpectedly.So whatever you do proceed with politeness and no bad feelings.
• Pakistan
14 Mar 07
ya thanks for response. No i m not going to break my friendship over this but to be honest there is bad feeling over all this. And i will tell her this whenever meet her, but i dont know what will be her response.
@Clairec23 (136)
• Ireland
14 Mar 07
I would have been upset too to be honest. In fact when I was pregnant, I wouldn't tell any pregnant women the girl's name that I chose lol I'd been hoping since I was pregnant with my son that nobody would use the girl's name I liked and they didn't but if I had told a friend that name and they used it first, I would have been pissed off. I know two girls that happened with and they still get into fights about it.
1 person likes this
• Pakistan
14 Mar 07
Thanks for your response. Now i wont tell my favourite name to anyone at all. But i already lost my very special one.
@Gemmygirl1 (2870)
• Australia
14 Mar 07
I would be upset if someone did the same thing to me. My only advise is (& this is what we did from day 1) - NEVER TELL ANYONE WHAT NAMES YOU LIKE OR WHAT YOU HAVE CHOSEN. This way, if someone ends up with the same or similar name, it's purely coincidental not a selfish & thoughtless act or anything.
• Pakistan
14 Mar 07
ya now i will be more than careful in future but you know first baby and first name is something very special for everyone. I would be happy if that was coincident but it was not, thats why i m feeling more bad and feeling like she cheated me.
@apky12 (775)
• United States
13 Mar 07
I would definitely be upset if I had a name for a long time and someone else used it. My friend had a boy before I had my boy. She was going to use the name Logan but named him Nathan instead. I called her to make sure it was alright to use the name Logan. It's just a matter of respect for your friends. She didn't care at all. She didn't want to use the name but I still wanted to be respectful of her feelings.
1 person likes this
• Pakistan
14 Mar 07
Thanks for your response. i dont know why she did that. I myself think she also like that name but even than she should talk to me about that. I know i didnt have any COPYRIght sort of thing for that name but i was just attached with that name. It was only about my feelings.
@sunshine4 (8709)
• United States
13 Mar 07
You should be upset. I find it hard to believe a good frined would use your name without asking you first. I don't think that there is anything you can do unless you want to confront her, but the baby already has the name. YOu could just tell her that you love the name she chose for her baby and you will be using it for yours. You could go another route and tell her that you are hurt that she would use your name without asking you first. Hopefully this doens't ruin your friendship.
1 person likes this
• Pakistan
14 Mar 07
She knows that i love that name. She didnt choose the name first as i remember i asked her if she chooses any name for her baby and till than she didnt have any name in mind. And than her elder sister told me about this name. And i was shocked. She could tell me that she also like this name and will give her baby the same name. I might understand that. But now it seems like cheating with me. I am feeling like she has stolen my baby's name
@mnflower (1304)
• United States
13 Mar 07
I am sorry that your friend did this, but I wouldn't let it upset you I would take pride that she chose to use a name that you suggested...That does not mean that you still can't name your baby that when you have one.After all your just friends not relatives so it shouldn't matter, alot of friends have babies with the same name...I wouldn't let this get you so upset, but I would ask her why she did it just so you know and maybe this would make you feel better
1 person likes this
• Pakistan
14 Mar 07
Ya definately i will ask her why she did that and i will also tell her i didnt feel good about this. May be its not something very irritating but i m thinking over all this since last 2-3 days and couldnt take it out from my mind.
@decimus785 (1421)
• Aruba
13 Mar 07
You have your right to feel upset,you can be upset with yourself by sharing the name with your friend and upset with your friend by not respecting what you said. Now you will have to choose another name,there's allot of beautiful names that you can give your baby boy.
1 person likes this
• Pakistan
14 Mar 07
No i dont want to choose another name. I would like to give my baby exactly the same name. I hope than she wont feel bad on this. She should understand that was my name.
@xyzabc (87)
• India
14 Mar 07
I think if I would have been in your place, I would also have been very upset. So you have right to be upset about this.
• Pakistan
14 Mar 07
ya right. What can i do apart from being upset over this.
14 Mar 07
If i were you i wiil change my emotion to another name and live that to her,and countinue sharing ideas with her.
• Pakistan
14 Mar 07
No this is not possible for me. I have that name in my mind for more than 2-3 years you know. And i lost it. And my own freind stolen that. How can one shift his/her attachments ???? I cant do that. Its not that much simple.
• Ireland
14 Mar 07
I think you have the right to be angry alright, especially since you already told her! But perhaps you should take it as flattery. She obviously loved the name so much that she wanted to give it to her own son. When my godson was born my friend spent ages thinking about what she would like to call him. She was going through a rough time. I had picked out the name Christopher years before for my son, if I ever had one. I suggested this name for her son and she loved it. My godson is now Christopher and it makes me really happy to know that I helped decide this name for him. When I did have my own son, I just choose the name Christian, similar to Christopher and just as nice!
• Pakistan
14 Mar 07
Thanks for your response. If she ask me for suggestion i would also suggested alot of names to her. But that was her first baby and everyone thinks alot about such things well in advance. But she took my name at the end. I know i can also give the same name to my baby but i dont think i would be feeling very good about this. Now she created sort of ownership on that name.
• India
16 Mar 07
its ok yaar she is your friend
@stacy624 (2777)
• Canada
14 Mar 07
I would have been really upset too! I have been pregnant for over 10 years in a row and have known a lot of others having babys ....I always tryed to stay away from any names they like or was going to use! That was Not Right what your friend did and infact I wouldnt even call her a friend now _(looses all repect) Good Luck and I would still go with the name you had after all you know that was his name!
@chargoans (940)
• United States
14 Mar 07
Okay girlfriend! I have been there done that...kinda. It wasn't my friend who did this and I did name my baby first. My cousin and wife named their baby girl Chelsey Saylor a couple of months after I named my baby girl Chelsey Taylor. I chose the spelling of her name to be different than the actual name Chelsea. One letter's difference! I was livid. I simply confronted my cousin's wife and asked her how she came up with the name. And she made me that much more jealous. Saylor is a character in one of her favorite books and Chelsey she heard from my daughter (who goes by Taylor). She just thought it looked pretty when written and she liked the beat of it. Dum-dum, Ba-boom. I guess rhythm is what she meant. I told her that I went through a bit coming up with my daughter's unique name (not that Taylor is so unique a name), but that I felt pretty positive that there wouldn't be many Chelsey Taylor's out there. But my confidence went to he** after her own cousin will be named something quite similar. It was like a blow to my knees. We now can laugh about it, but when we were discussing it, it was very frustrating. She did apologize for her action, but stated that it wasn't something she did to intentionally upset me. In fact, she went as far to say, that it will be a constant reminder of her favorite cousin-in-law (me!). :-)
@luckly888 (175)
• China
14 Mar 07
HI,i am a new one. I hope you are read my post! thank you :)