Ever been invited for a dinner...but you need to pay your own bill?

dinner - a practical dinner invitation!
Philippines
March 13, 2007 12:44pm CST
OK. It's not that I don't wanna pay my bill, but I just find it a lil funny when a friend texted me earlier today and invited me for a dinner tomorrow for the Christening of her child. Oh well, who doesn't love parties?.. LOL But the next thing I knew was that it has to be a KKB (Kanya-Kanyang Bayad), that's on our own dialect here which means I need to pay for my bill..the host family won't be taking care of the expenses since we'll have a dinner in a buffet restaurant here in the city...:P funny huh..this is the first time I got invited with this stuffs explicitly mentioned... LOL oh well, I said yes..it's just a few bucks anyways and I would love to be there and see the child... but yeah, it did make me laugh a bit coz usually birthdays or christening parties are free for the invited guests... lol I but i do appreciate the host's straightforwardness somehow..:P how do you find this one? please share your thoughts...
12 people like this
59 responses
• United States
13 Mar 07
I think I'd have mixed feelings too. On one hand they are thoughtful enough to want you to be a part of the event and are realistic about what they can afford, etc. and I can relate because that stuff can get expensive. A lot of times I will do a "dinner" for just the family and then go back to the house or later have guests for just a cake or something to celebrate an event to avoid the huge costs of catering for events. Yet on the same token, I'm not sure "miss manners" would agree with this technique? LOL I guess she must be a great friend and feel comfy with telling you like it is, straight forward and honest. She must care enough about you to really want to share the event too.
2 people like this
@emeraldisle (13146)
• United States
14 Mar 07
Hehe I agree about "Miss Manners". The ones I had been taught always said the host pays for such things unless it was a pot luck type meal. Celebrations after such events were to be paid for by the family hosting the event.
• Singapore
13 Mar 07
Oh yes, I do think it is very strange. I have not come across such a stingy host myself. :P Usually when we get invited to such events, we will be bringing gifts anyway (so we are not really eating free). But gift or not, the guests shouldn't have to pay. I really think that friend was yours is very pathetic. If she can't afford to treat you, it is better to just *not* have the party. If you want to have the party, you better pay for your guests. There is no second way really imo. :P
1 person likes this
• Philippines
13 Mar 07
thanks for your all heart out honesty, lordwiz...:P I also thought that way when I first heard her say I need to pay for my own dinner..but later I came to think that probably they're just having a pretty tight budget.. and I find it shameful too if i won't show up just because i need to pay... *sigh* what about giving up my gift and just pay the bills? lol :P
1 person likes this
• Singapore
29 Mar 07
Haha :P PS.: Thanks for best response! ^^
• United States
14 Mar 07
I got an even better on that that, I was down in Mexico at my in-laws house and they said why don't we all go get some seafood. We were all like sure, it was my wife, my brother-in-law, sister-in-law, myself and THEM (my mother-in-law and father-in-law). Well after we all got done running up a $300+ bill THEY handed the bill to me. Since my brother-in-law and sister-in-law only had about $70 on them, we had to pick up the remaining tab! And by the way the dish they each picked was like $60 or $70 each!
1 person likes this
@emeraldisle (13146)
• United States
14 Mar 07
OMG...that takes some real nerve to do that to someone. I think of someone had done that to me I would have looked at the bill, said "Oh that's nice" and handed it back to them. That was just uncalled for by them.
@mssnow (9495)
• United States
13 Mar 07
Things cost so much now days its hard to come up with money to pay for everything. I can see a host asking you to pay for your own bill. I'm sure they are supplying other things. I would do it .
1 person likes this
• Philippines
13 Mar 07
yeah, I understand that's why I just give it a yes..anyways, i'd still be spending for my dinner if i'l have it alone. thanks for the response.
@nancygibson (3738)
• France
13 Mar 07
I think as long as its all understood before you go out then its perfectly ok. I wouldnt expect to pay if I was invited to their house for a meal, but I would expect to pay if a group of us went out for a restaurant meal, so I suppose it depends on circumstances
1 person likes this
• Philippines
13 Mar 07
thanks for your response, nancygibson... :P
@cabergren (1182)
• United States
14 Mar 07
I am like you and I would have figured that they were taking care of the bill. It would have also surprised me to have to pay my own bill. When you have a party like that you pick up the tab. Maybe they are having money problems.
1 person likes this
@clod0327 (817)
• Philippines
14 Mar 07
Hey, I never encountered this before. And I know this is something not common here in the Philippines. But at least your friend is honest with you. Maybe times are really difficult here and they just want to share their joy of having a child with their close friends and this is the best way for them to gather all their friends to be with them in this special occasion.
1 person likes this
@kathy77 (7488)
• Australia
14 Mar 07
Yes normally you do not have to pay when people invite us to christening or birthdays it is pretty funny but maybe they cannot afford to pay for everyone and that is why they have done it this way as bringing up any children these days is pretty hefty on the pocket. lol
1 person likes this
@Abbyey (760)
• Philippines
14 Mar 07
Yes it is a bit funny. I never had that experience before. But if i did i guess i will understand the host too. Its a good thing that she/he told you beforehand. :P
@hottie0728 (1732)
• United States
14 Mar 07
Oh yeah this happens to me and my bf. One of my friend (a Filipina too) invited us on her dinner birthday, As you've said who doesn't like parties, so we went there...ordered what we want and had a few drinks. As we received the bill, I noticed that some of my friends including the celebrant were calculating whatever they owe. Haha...we need to pay for ourselves just like what happened to you. For a celebration especially for Filipinos...it's rare to have the visitor pay for their meals. This is the first birthday celebration that I went to that I have to pay...anyway, it doesn't matter. We had fun anyway and we learned our lessons...=)
@kgwat70 (13396)
• United States
14 Mar 07
I have never been invited to a dinner by anyone and asked to pay for my bill. Sometimes they ask me to bring a dish over or dessert but never to pay for the bill. I think for the most part the person that invites people should pay for the dinner. That is good that the host was straightforward about it and asked in advance and did not tell you when you arrived.
• Philippines
14 Mar 07
I think it's funny. Anyway, as long as the information of having your cash to be spent for your information is known, i find nothing wrong with that. KKB (So you are a filipino, a ManileƱo here, nyahahaha)
1 person likes this
• India
14 Mar 07
I have actually been to not one or two but 5 such parties where we have paid for our own dinner and also contributed to the host's expenses. Shocked ? We were in japan for some time and we had a nice group with my husband's colleagues and their wives and used to go out a lot. Now anybody who has been to japan will tell you that the bill comes in some thousand yens.For a group of 10 you can expect a bill of 45000 yens to 60000 yens !!! With drinks of course. So there, we had formed a system that if it was anybody's b'day, we would all go out together but instead of the B'day boy or girl paying for us, we would share the bill amongst the remaining of us.
1 person likes this
@gnamarie (39)
• Philippines
14 Mar 07
I find the situation very unusual. I haven't experienced being invited to an event & paying for my food. I heard of potluck events but this is really different. If they have a tight budget, I think they should opted to hold the reception in their own house or invite fewer guests. Its just common courtesy to treat your guests. Just a thought...:)
1 person likes this
• United States
13 Mar 07
I find it very funny. That sort of thing has happened to me more then once. You would think after the first time...I would learn something. LOL Anyway, the last time I was on a date I thought everything was going great. We went to the movies and he paid for that and then we went to the restaurant. After the meal was over and the waitress had brought the check the Guy said "OH, You are not going to believe this but I think I left my wallet at home." Duh, you are right i was not going to believe it because he had brought his wallet out so that he could pay for the movie. But anyway, so I paid for the meal. It was not a big deal. He had just taken me to the most expensive place in town that is all. :-) So hey it has happened to me by friends also. I guess just look at it as at least all you had to pay for was your own food heehee
1 person likes this
• Estonia
13 Mar 07
i think the same like you .I can understand if it's just going out but if it's party then it's real weird.
@liranlgo (5748)
• Israel
13 Mar 07
well it is very nice that she told you that before the dinner..here at my country it is very accptable that if you are invited to a dinner party at a resturant you pay your own bill but all people kknow about it and accept this if the host of the party is paying then he will tell us before..lol..totally different here if the party is in his own house it is clear that you have to pay but if it takes place in a resturant you pay:O)
1 person likes this
• United States
13 Mar 07
for us Filipinos , we were into the practice that when somebody invites us for a meal or a celebration then expectedly it's a party that the friend giving out the invitation will be the HOST . when i came over here in the U.S. i got to realize that anything in here is always a KKB because i have experienced a dinner invitation before that a friend of mine planned for it & give me a ride to the place & we enjoy eating & chatting then as soon as the bill came in she was telling me how much was my share . for that incident i always make sure when anybody invites me for anything if it's a party blown out by someone or it has been agreed upon to pay what you get . i think this is a practical practice already & that we won't expect a party is always free . when a KKB party is your call just make sure everybody you invited knows the principle of how it goes through !
1 person likes this
@ram_cv (16516)
• India
13 Mar 07
That's what I think is called the Dutch dinner invitation. Just kidding, as long as you have been intimated about it before the party, it is fine. There are a lot of such parties which we have in our company where in we go together by pooling the money and have fun. Cheers! Ram
1 person likes this
@jillmalitz (5132)
• United States
13 Mar 07
That is interesting. Around here most events like that are hosted and paid for by the host. I have ben to parties that due to the size every one paid their own tab.
1 person likes this