When you argue with your spouse, do you go to bed angry?

@busybea (930)
United States
October 16, 2006 9:15pm CST
I try not to go to bed angry with him. Even if I have to wake him to tell him I hate it when we fight.
4 responses
• Australia
20 Oct 06
I try to talk but he takes off before I get a chance to resolve the problem. So yeh sometimes I do, but mostly I try to bethe one who gets on with it and does not run away and try again at a decent time when we are not so cross because we are very stubborn people and sometimes don't back down easily.
@busybea (930)
• United States
20 Oct 06
That's what I do too. We absolutely nust have time to stew and then simmer, but one of us will (not cave, but) certainly make ammends so that we can move on. After all, we have a lifetime ahead of us! ;~))
@busybea (930)
• United States
20 Oct 06
My husband used to do that. Scream first, ask questions later. I would just let him blow off steam and felt worse for it. I finally asked him in a very calm voice, "do you think I'm standing next door or something? Do you think I have trouble with my hearing? Are you capable of having a normal conversation without all the screaming?" I guess it made a point after a couple of demonstrations because he doesn't scream anymore. lol
• Australia
20 Oct 06
Yes it has taken my dad years to learn but she finally got thru. She would say same like that and it took him about 6-7 yrs but it finally got thru. Apparantly he stll does it but not so much anymore. He was scary once, but he learnt to simmer down so I can tell him more like a parent is supposed to be. My m um reckons I have married my dad, so wish me luck, I am glad I am too stubborn to give up! LOL
@fritz27 (1137)
• United States
20 Oct 06
i'm thickheaded and i won't talk for days. but, that is being married for over 20 years. we didn't do that when we first got married. it was a rule not to go to bed mad.
• Australia
20 Oct 06
Sometimes I try not to talk but it gets the better of me and I have to say my piece. My dad won't talk for days and it drives my stepmum nuts as she is very emotional and needs to talk immediately and won't give up until something is sorted. It can get kind of frustrating especially if there is nothing good that's going to come out from your end then you are pretty much forced to say something that may come out in anger. I would rather be able to not say anything at all too.
@busybea (930)
• United States
20 Oct 06
so Fritz, do you disagree with the comment I just sent to Simmer in #1 post? Do you think it is not damaging to not speak to each other for several days? And after the several days of not speaking, do you and your wife of 20 years then sort through the mess htat was there, or do you just move on as if it didn't happen at all? My hubby and I dated 5 years and have been married 11. One or both of us still looks to resolve a situation before we move on, and usually THAT DAY.
@fritz27 (1137)
• United States
21 Oct 06
i don't have a wife!
@simmer (70)
• South Africa
20 Oct 06
I often go to bed angry with my bf!I feel like ppl need time to think things thru so we normally sort it out the next day!Wel try too!
@busybea (930)
• United States
20 Oct 06
I wonder if this is normal in most relationships. I hope to find out here. thanks for posting.
@simmer (70)
• South Africa
20 Oct 06
I suppose the saying different strokes for different folks would come into handy on this topic!The most important thing is that you keep the relationship alive and never stop tryin to make your relationship stronger!
@busybea (930)
• United States
20 Oct 06
True on both counts, but I have friends who have arguments, don't resolve them, don't speak to each other for several days (until they both simmer down) and then just never speak of it again. These couples end up having alot of garbage built up between them and have to face HUGE, threatening arguements every few months to release all the anger. And often they just do it all over again. I think that is not healthy at all, even if the relationship seems to still be alive.
• United States
23 Oct 06
i tend to go to bed angry with my boyfriend. i try not to and dont want to, i just dont want to give in.