Have you ever received a response to a discussion of yours that has made you ...

Australia
March 14, 2007 6:58pm CST
so mad that you want to scream with frustration!? I had a very unhelpful one today. My discussion was on a very sensitive topic and this person totally abused me, called me "Honey" (ugh), told me to grow up and stop acting like a teenager (that's a good one i'm 46!) and in fact reduced me to tears. Has anyone else had a "goodie" like this? Or perhaps you've received some weird and wonderful responses which have nothing to do with your discussion! I got a few of those too which made me think "What the?"... Please share your experiences, good or bad with me - this person has put me in a fowl mood and I need cheering up!
8 people like this
19 responses
@charms88 (7543)
• Philippines
15 Mar 07
Hello feralwoman, I just checked on your discussion and yes that person was rude. I noticed also 2 members from China who are spamming your site. I have reported this to mylot right away. I do have my fair share of people saying offensive words in my own discussions. Its really annoying to see this kind of people loitering around this site. I feel for you, feralwoman. There's one who told me to be street smart and stop acting like a dumb straight person. Its insulting to say the least. But don't worry. I'm sure mylot will take the necessary actions right away. All the best.
• Australia
15 Mar 07
Hi there! Yes she was rude and incredibly unhelpful. Thanks for reporting the spammers - I hadn't noticed. It's horrible when people abuse you for no reason. Thanks so much for responding. LOL
• United States
15 Mar 07
When I first started in mylot I wrote a discussion about skateboarding and my son who is a perfect student and how he and his friends is being treat by some members of the school system and neighborhood as criminals, when in fact they are a group of very good boys....Anyway with out repeating my entire discussion here LOL I had one man actually tell me that I was blinded and fooled and had no clue what my kid was up to. He did not read my post at all, jumped in with BS and to tell you the truth I was upset at his nerve to imply such a thing. Really put me off to posting my own discussions for awhile. I have to say there was a couple of people that jumped to my defense in that one. I know we have to let it roll of our backs, and ignore the ignorance of some folks in here but it bites my butt sometimes!
2 people like this
• Australia
15 Mar 07
It bites my butt too Angelwhispers! Some people I think have a bad day and take it out on others, or they are genuinely stupid! LOL. Thanks for responding.
@ossie16d (11834)
• Australia
15 Mar 07
I have just finished responding to that discussion of yours actually feralwoman, and also made a comment to that very rude person. Okay she doesn't have to agree with you but as far as I could judge from her response, she didn't read what you had written. And that is what I told her. Personally I believe we all cop this type of comment from at least one person, if the subject is not about toilet paper or some other inane subject. Although come to think of it, some people would even disagree on toilet paper or tooth paste if the truth be known. :) I can think of a couple I have had. One where the person was obnoxious in their disagreement with something I wrote. So they didn't have to agree, but there was no need to go over the top and call me names. There was one other who responded to a couple of my discussions and said "who in the hell do you think you are", so I reported them to myLot and that was the last heard of them. With regard to the person in your discussion I checked their profile, and find they have been a member here for 3 months and the rating is still only less than half my age, so not the most active member around. Also it seems from the discussions she/he started and responses I have read of that particular person, that she/he is one very opinioned person who cares not a whit for anyone else. Cheer up my friend, people like that aren't worth worrying about at all, and certainly not worth your tears. I suspect that she/he had the courage to listen to the advice of others and not take her own father in as she claimed she did. Come to think of it, she has just given you a very good reason for you not to have your parents live with you. Do you want to end up like that? No, I didn't think so, which means you cannot have your parents live with you. Maybe I should go back to that discussion, thank the person for their comments and tell them how I understand why they responded as they did. LOL
• Australia
15 Mar 07
Hi Ossie (night owl!), thanks for your comments on both my discussions (which are somewhat naughtily related!). I also went into her profile to check her out and came up with the same conclusions you did - very opinionated indeed! It really irks me when someone doesn't read what I wrote or misses the point and then goes off on some kind of tangent to who knows where and has to resort to abuse. Oh well, such is life! lol. I'm surprised you had to suffer the same things in your dicussions also. How on earth can anyone be offended with anything you write, your discussions are witty, informative and unique. You also have a great sense of humour - & no I don't want to end up bitter and twisted like that! Thanks for your valuable comments as usual. LOL
@Denmarkguy (1845)
• United States
31 Mar 07
I'm sorry to hear you had to put up with such a buttwad. I haven't (thankfully) had anyone leave a nasty comment-- so the most annoying ones I have gotten have either (a) been some cheating bugger who just copied and pasted part of my actual discussion and called it their own "response," or (b) people who posted a PAGE long response that turned out to just be a straight copy of some (barely relevant) article from a web site or blog. Grrrrr....
• Australia
3 Apr 07
Hi there, yes, i've had the copy and paste ones too and man aren't they irritating! I've also seen the tomes of responses (perhaps even on your discussions?) straight from Wiki. Your response did make me laugh - i'd not heard buttwad before, a$$wipe yes! Thanks for your response and for making me laugh! lol
• Singapore
29 Mar 07
Yes... I get that sometimes too. There are all kinds of people. I have some who call me "honey" or other endearments too but I know they mean it out of affection. I am not offended, and am in fact pleased. I think for your case though, it was meant in an insulting manner. If you want, retort back. Otherwise, just shrug it off. Don't be affected by such things. There are other nice people around. ;-)
1 person likes this
• Australia
30 Mar 07
Hi there - yes, ordinarily I don't mind a bit if people call me honey or hun, but this definately was meant in an insulting manner - you could feel the sarcasm coming through the monitor right at you LOL. Will try to shrug these things off, and haven't had any since. Thank you so much for responding. Have a great weekend! LOL
@ESKARENA1 (18299)
19 Mar 07
have only had one of these and they do upset you. All i can assume is that they have something missing in their lives. They often start their response by enquiring in to state of your mental health, by applying the quaint americanism, are you mad.....? I find this terribly insulting. It took me a few weeks to get used to how rude and rustic some of our responders are, but never mind, the vast majority are nice people and that makes up for the few who have issues blessed be
1 person likes this
• Australia
19 Mar 07
Merry meet Eskarena1. I love your comment about rude and rustic lol. A good way of putting it. Yes, the vast majority here are nice I agree! Thank you so much for your response. Happy Ostara!
@aissha (2036)
• India
16 Mar 07
i geuss this person must be aman and not woman when men don't know what to say appropriately they do react this way.i'm 30 and whenever i say something sensitive ,to the point thing then my husband does u need to grow yup and u need many changes in u .i guess he was at his wits end so,he said this . be confident u are good.
1 person likes this
• Australia
19 Mar 07
Hi there aissha, it was actually a woman who responded in the unkind manner! A bit of a shocker! Thanks for your encouragement and thank you very much for your response!
• United States
15 Mar 07
This hasnt happened to me *yet* but I'm new to mylot so it might. I think it is terrible that they made you cry, very insensitive. I hope you told him what you thought of him and his comments!
1 person likes this
• Australia
19 Mar 07
Yes LilyoftheThorns, a few people did express their opinions on this persons comments! Thank you so much for responding. LOL
@greylady (153)
• United States
15 Mar 07
I've been addressed in many ways and 'Honey' is not the worst of them by far! If being called 'Honey" reduced me to tears it would probably be tears of relief that I hadn't been called much much worse.
1 person likes this
• Australia
19 Mar 07
LOL greylady! It was the way "honey" was placed in the sentence - you could literally feel the sarcasm coming out at you. Thanks so much for your response - you have a great sense of humour! lol
@mssnow (9493)
• United States
15 Mar 07
Well some people think they are helping. Its the only way they know how to help by criticizing others. Thats probably how they grew up. Just take it with a grain of salt and throw it over your shoulder and ignore them. Just know that they were probably raised that way so they cant help it. You be the better person and hold your head up and don't let them bother you.
1 person likes this
• Australia
19 Mar 07
Thanks so much for that mssnow! From now on I shall ignore stupid comments and rise above them! Thank you so much for your response lol
@Erilyn (3020)
• United States
15 Mar 07
I am new here to myLot, and while I haven't had this happen to me as of yet, I am sure in time it will. One of the problems with an open forum like this is you get people who are either responding just to respond, people who are angry and are just itching to vent on someone else, or people who are bored and just want someone to feel as bad as they do. The upsides are that you get opinions from a very diverse pool of people, and can maybe actually learn somethings, or maybe you read something and say you know I never thought of it that way before. Sometimes I think you almost have to have pity for people that are nasty. Maybe something happened to them in the topic you post and the only way they can respond is with nastiness. It is unfortuante that some people think that it is the only way to be. I know this is easier said than done, but take comfort in knowing there are a lot of people out there who are more than happy to help and give their opinion in anyway they can without the nastiness. You could always use a stress technique I used when I worked in a call center. I had a squishy ball on my desk with a face drawn on it. When I got a nasty person on the phone I would be very pleasant to them but be squezzing the heck out of that ball lol. When the call was over, the ball went back on my desk until I needed it again. Once the ball was on the desk I left the nastiness there with it. I really hope this helps! :)
• Australia
19 Mar 07
Hi there Erilyn - hey you must've got some abuse working in a call centre! The ball is a good idea - I bet you had a very very strong hand after you stopped working there lol. Thank you so much for your great comments and for responding. LOL
• United States
15 Mar 07
I have gotten a few like that. Some times I just say thanks but what did that have to do with the topic? I have never gotten one that attacked me or anything like that though. If I did that would be a greatt ime for the - button or maybe a reporting.
1 person likes this
• Australia
15 Mar 07
Hello there! Sometimes I respond with the trusty "What the?" and other times, like you I respond with that had nothing to do with the topic. I did hit the - button on that person's comment! Thank you so much for responding. LOL
• India
15 Mar 07
Hi i rarely get a response as im new to mylot as far as cheering u just give me a reply to my response and i will be cheered up and send u something more cheering than this one, this one cheered u are not.
1 person likes this
• Australia
15 Mar 07
Hello there - hope you're enjoying being on myLot! Keep posting and you'll soon get responses and no abusive ones I hope! Good luck and earn lots! Hope this has cheered you up. Thank you very much for responding! LOL
15 Mar 07
Don't let it get you down hun, there are always going to be the idiots. I've had one or two rude and abusive responses, and to each one I have merely hit the minus button and moved on. You keep posting your discussions, there are plenty of folk here who want to see them
1 person likes this
• Australia
15 Mar 07
Hello recycledgoth. I hit the minus button on that abusive comment! Thanks for the encouragement to keep posting and thank you for responding! LOL
1 person likes this
@bethmt (419)
• United States
15 Mar 07
This hasn't really happened to me here at MyLot although there have been some responses where I could tell the person didn't read through my entire post. But as far as people responding with patronizing or rude comments it's happened to me in another forum and it wasn't a pleasant experience. I can understand how upsetting it can be when someone makes a rude comment or gives their version of "advice". I'm sorry that this happened to you and this kind of treatment is uncalled for. On the other forum that I mentioned there were some people who got pretty abusive concerning my spiritual beliefs and I have to say that it really hurt. But later, I just tried to keep in mind that these people are the way they are and there's not much I can do about it. When people like that make abusive statements to me it's upsetting but I know I can't hold on to that anger or it will just eat me up and they will have won. Anyway, I didn't mean to get too philisophical, lol. I understand what you're saying and I really have empathy for what you're feeling. Just try to keep in mind that what this person said isn't a reflection on you. They are responding to their own personal hurts or garbage that's going on in their life. It's not an excuse for poor behavior but it's something to keep in mind. Take care. :)
• Australia
15 Mar 07
Hi bethmt. Spiritual beliefs should not be abused under any circumstances I think. That is a very personal thing and no one has the right to judge another on that topic. I guess they are just responding to the garbage that's going on like you said. I hadn't thought of it that way. You are very wise! Thanks so much for responding! LOL
1 person likes this
@elisa812 (3033)
• United States
15 Mar 07
Something similar to that happened to me on a different forum. I was just asking for a suggestion on what type of fabric would work with my wedding dress to use for accessories, and some other girl totally bit my head off and started insulting my taste and calling me names! I of course got really emotional and ended up in tears over it. I was so mad...I mean, I was talking about what I'm going to wear on my wedding day, which is a really sensitive and special thing for a girl! I was so excited about it, and then this girl just had to ruin it by insulting me and hurting my feelings. If she didn't like what I was talking about, then she didn't even need to take the time to respond to my post! lol Anyway, I know what you mean...people can be really rude and hurtful sometimes. I wish people would just stick to the rule, "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all!" I hope you feel better!! :)
1 person likes this
• Australia
15 Mar 07
Hello elisa812! What a horrible thing to have done to you. I think that if you don't have any useful input to a discussion you shouldn't respond to it. That's what I do anyway. My hackles are still up, but i'm starting to feel better. Thank you so much for sharing your experience with me - by the way did you get your wedding dress and accessories sorted out OK? lol
• Nigeria
15 Mar 07
yes we in mylot do why ask
• Australia
19 Mar 07
What the?
• United States
31 Mar 07
I have learned to ignore them and move on as I used to take any insulting or especially patronizing ones very personally. Then I'd get mad at myself for letting a perfect stranger upset me. One thing that still irks the hell out of me is when someone who doesn't know me from Adam calls, me hun, honey, dear or starts every response with dear friend and then proceeds to try and tear you apart. OMG now I am venting I'm sorry!
@Darkwing (21588)
31 Mar 07
I haven't really had any like that one, that were abusive and upsetting. That's in my own discussions but I have received them in other people's discussions and yes, it is quite upsetting. The worst I've received in my own is, ddd, and ahhhh! lol Brightest Blessings.