Home Schooling....Good Idea?

@Erilyn (3020)
United States
March 15, 2007 10:25am CST
I have been trying to decide wether or not to homeschool my 14 year old daughter. Since about 5th grade I have had nothing but problems with her running her mouth constantly, being disruptive and generally unruly. Now she is in 8th grade about to go to high school. I think a lot of it has to do with the people she chooses to hang around with. She doesn't have any developmental problems, no ADD or anything like that. She is very intelligent, and I know she could easily be an A honor roll student if it weren't for the behavor. I am really not sure what else to do with her at this point but home school her to keep her away from the type of kids she just for some reason will not stop hanging out with. I am up for any suggestions at this point since I have tried just about everything else I can think of lol.
5 people like this
8 responses
@buldwgz (1483)
• United States
29 Mar 07
Home schooling can be tough, not just on the student but the parents as well. I think it depends mostly on each individual as there are horror stories and good stories about it out there. No single decision is perfect. If your daughter wants to be home schooled then that would be the first step in the right direction for it. If she doesn't then it may be a struggle from the start.
2 people like this
@Erilyn (3020)
• United States
29 Mar 07
oh I fully agree with you on that one. Hopefully we can get this resolved and it will be easier for all involved. I am just lost as far as what else to do with her you know?
1 person likes this
• United States
29 Mar 07
Check with your local library for books on homeschooling. See if there are any support groups in your area or state. If there are any homeschool conventions near you this spring and summer, try to go to one. Don't buy anything, unless you know for certain what you'd like to use. Right now, RESEARCH, until you feel like you're going to burst from all the information. Then sit and meditate on what you: 1) need to do, 2)want to do. Also, if you get something and don't like or use it, don't sweat it, that's what used book sales and Ebay are for! My suggestions to all new or considering homeschoolers is: Research, decide, commit to homeschooling for a year at a time, plan for year, decide curriculum and then purchase. Take it one day at time. It will take time for your daughter to "decompress" from public school. Deal with attitudes etc as soon as they appear. Keep your communications open. I've been homeschooling for 16 years and counting. No, I don't have all the answers because I don't know everything. I offer advice to people who ask, what is done with my advice is up to them.
1 person likes this
@Erilyn (3020)
• United States
29 Mar 07
Thank you for the information. I have done a lot of research and read a lot of things on home schooling. I need to decompress at this point lol. I sitll have a few more months in that ime I am sure that I will be able to figure it all out.
1 person likes this
• United States
17 Mar 07
Homeschooling is very helpful in a lot of ways. I honestly think that it could help with her behavior too. Maybe if she's not around these kids and you take some time to not do school but just spend time with her getting to know her and doing what she enjoys, you can foster a healthier relationship with her. Then you can work with her to get the education you think she could have too. Brenda Marie Homeschool 4 Us (My homeschool blog): http://homeschool4us.blogspot.com/ My ebook: "Homeschooling Without The Headaches" http://stores.lulu.com/store.php?fAcctID=812683
2 people like this
@Erilyn (3020)
• United States
22 Mar 07
I think it is going to work out quite well. And thank you for the links! Any bit of information helps!
2 people like this
• United States
21 Mar 07
i have a 12 year old girl and well she was the same way. she was a good kid but the mouth and fit throwing etc. my youngest is 9 and very shy and had a hard time with school cause she likes to be her and not like others. the 12 year old wanted to be like everyone else though. both are very smart always makes a's etc. i started home schooling this year cause i didnt know what else to do. alot of the stuff she was doing was stuff i saw the other kids doing when i went to a school function. when she got in trouble she always said well so and so says it or does it etc. since we have done home school the talking back etc has stopped. we are closer now and have alot better communication. she didnt want to be home schooled at first and threw a fit but after about 2 months she said she never wanted to go back to school. when i asked why she said at home i can be me without worrying about what others think. i like being me. i can meet other kids that like stuff that i do and hang out but if i dont like them i never have to see them again. plus she said she learns more. give it a try it cant hurt.
1 person likes this
@Erilyn (3020)
• United States
22 Mar 07
I am sorry i hadn't responded sooner, had some issues I had to deal with lol. I sat her down the other day and explained more about what kids of things we could do with her being home schooled. I think part of her problem stems from boredom. When i was talking about it with her she mentioned that she wouldn't have to listen to the teacher go over the same things for 3-4 days till everyone understood it. Once I told her that when she could prove to me she understood something I taught her we could move on her face lit up. She said good, that means I can get through a year of school faster. She is now looking forward to being homeschooled, which takes a load off my mind lol.
2 people like this
• United States
23 Mar 07
That's great to hear. I think that moving on faster is also a great benefit of homeschooling. In my opinion, a lot of the kids who are getting in trouble in school are very bright but very bored. Brenda Marie Homeschool 4 Us (My homeschool blog): http://homeschool4us.blogspot.com/ My ebook: "Homeschooling Without The Headaches" http://stores.lulu.com/store.php?fAcctID=812683
• United States
24 Mar 07
you made a big first step getting her to want to do it. my kids love that there arent other kids they have to wait on. also we get to do more field trips. we can go camping during the week too. we just take the books with us. there are alot of books that you can use. we use the alpha omega books you can get them online or at bapist book stores. we omit the church part out cause we dont push religon on our kids. they go to church but its there choice. they are good in price too. they go step by step and that way if there is something you dont remember it explains it well. also my kids love that they be in pjs till noon if they want to sometimes. they like the fact that they can be done with school and on to college by 15 as well. if i can help at all with getting you started or ideas on stuff please let me know
1 person likes this
• United States
15 Mar 07
Well homeschooling, in reasearch ,has been found to help kids develop more all round.Home schooling doesn't mean that your Child(ren) won't have contact with other kids but you would have more control over who your child associates with.And being that the parent is around most of the time they would be able to let their children respond to situations in a more appropriate manner than they would otherwise have done if surrounded by just unruly children,that is, if that's the company that your child favours. You,the parent would have more time to discipline your child when they commit an act immediately as opposed to not knowing what happened with your child for the entire day and then they suffer in the end.It would also mean that you the parent would have to organise ways for your child to socialize with others and be there to supervise (if Possible).This would help your organisational skills and at the same time you would be spending qualiy time with your child.From this point of view I think you and your child could be better off but I'm sure there are others who think otherwise. I myself am considering homeschooling my sons,they are 1 and 8 weeks.This would be a better fit for me because at the tender ages through 7 they are like sponges and what they learn at that time stays witht them forever. Well anyway all the best with your daughter.Hope everything works out ok.
• United States
15 Mar 07
In addition your child since she is now a teenager may very well find others ways to see her friends. If you just want to home school her because of the bad company she keeps it may not be the best solution since the first chance she gets she will go right back to the same behaviour. You can try and finding out why she behaves the way she does and see if you can guide her from there. You know your daughter best and how she would respond so consider your options carefully and do what you think is best.
1 person likes this
@Erilyn (3020)
• United States
15 Mar 07
I have even gone as far as taking her to a counsler to see if we can figure out the problem. Where we live it would be very difficult for her to sneak out to see her friends. I moved out to the country to be able to better control who she hangs around with. I have 2 other children also and have none of the problems I have with her. I have another girl who is 10 and a son who is 9. They have always been very well behaved and very respectful. I find myself asking what I did wrong with her.
1 person likes this
@mrsbrian (1951)
• United States
15 Mar 07
although home schooling may help in the learning aspect of life, it dose not teach our children to deal with real life problems that occur in the world of people. they need to interact with a wide range of people and learn how to deal with everyday problems. how will they learn to interact with all walks of life if they are homeschooled its a big mean world out there and they need a well rounded life to be able to interact in that world.
1 person likes this
@Vycynyty (12)
• United States
29 Mar 07
It's a good idea, but make sure your daughter is willing to do it too and not just saying she is. She may miss the friends at school more than she will ever let you know. Just be open and honest with her and respect her wishes too.
1 person likes this
@Erilyn (3020)
• United States
29 Mar 07
The problem is though if I were to let her decide what she wants to do I am going to have more problems on my hands then I do now. Ultimatly its up to me as a parent to decide whats in the best intrest of my child you know?
1 person likes this
• United States
30 Mar 07
Well, you should also make sure that she knows that hanging out with the friends she chooses is a privilege. Tell her that if she does not bring up her grades and have better behavior, that her choices will be over and you will rule her life...
• India
3 Apr 07
Hello erilyn..i think you have a good idea...but as your daughter isin class-8.. she is young enough to think for herself..if she is mentally not prepared to group in with her age group..then tell her very patiencely about all she doing wrong and how to be keep her mouth quite shut when there is no need of talking ....and how to react outdoor....i think this problem is not so big..because in this age group people somewat talk more about anything....she will be alright.....best of luck to your daughter for her upcoming life....bye..
1 person likes this
@Erilyn (3020)
• United States
3 Apr 07
Thank you. It's not a matter of how she sould act outside the home and keeping her mouth shut. I get compliments all the time about her behavior. It has to do more with the kids she chooses to hang around with. I have discussed this with her many times to no avail.
• United States
16 Mar 07
For myself, I love kids and have a 15 year old, but I would not have the patience to home school. My cousin, on the other hand has 5 children (from age 1 to age 14) and she home schools them all. They are all brilliant and well behaved. She is so amazing and credits it to her faith which is strong. There is something about middle school when kids get there. My son and I butted heads for a year until I remembered that I didn't like my mom when I was 13 either. LOL But it is so hard to tell them who they can hang with because if you say not to be around a certain person, it makes them want to be with that person all the more. You could give it a try for a predetermined space of time and see how it goes. Good luck to you!
1 person likes this
@Erilyn (3020)
• United States
16 Mar 07
I have no patience for her behavor now so it my be a lot easier lol. I was thinking of trying it for a year, my only concern is If I homeschool her for a year and let her return to high school is she going to go back to the same behavor? I already know it won't be easy at first with her. She will try to make it as difficult as possible to make me want to send her back to school. Once we get past tht first part of it I think we will both be better off.
1 person likes this
@mrsbrian (1951)
• United States
15 Mar 07
being a mommy is one tuff job and deciding what is best for them is also tuff, having raised two i believe that it is an age thing seems like they hit the teens and there different kids we dont know. im not sure homeschool is the answer as it may cause her to rebel more, you said the people she choses to hang out with ,well you are the parent and u are in control of who she hangs out with i would have her to stop hanging out with anyone i didnt approve of. there is always a reason children act out, she may be trying to get attention, i would ground her if she could not act well and no tv, no video games nothing she enjoyed untill she could act properly.
@Erilyn (3020)
• United States
15 Mar 07
She is already grounded and only watches tv when something educational is on. She hangs around these children at school only, not at home. I have done everything I can think of to keep her under control, but I can't control what she does when I cannot be there to supervise. At home all she does is homework, chores, and read. I forgot to add that earlier, to paint a better picture of what has been going on.