Full Time Mom or Part Time Mom?

@ellanick (191)
Philippines
March 15, 2007 9:34pm CST
I am doing some thinkin right now regarding my role as a mother, you see I have 2 kids, ages 1 and 3 and I am also doing my Masteral Degree. I feel that I dont give them a lot of my time because I am working. I feel that as a mother I should be the one taking care of them instead of their nanny, but its not happening. When I leave the house in the morning, they are asleep and when I come in the afternoon, I am already tired from my work no time to play with them because I feel exhausted! I am torn now between my work and kids, now Im considering of resigning to my work but when i think of their future Im having second thoughts because I want to save more for their studies. Pls help me to decide, to be a full time mom or a part time mom? comments and suggestions are all welcome.
7 people like this
31 responses
• Philippines
16 Mar 07
I am a working mom, as much as I wanted to be a fulltime mother but practically I need to work, we need to earn extra income for the future of my daughter, but I make sure that she will be taken care of, and still I do my duties and responsibilities as a mother.
1 person likes this
@ellanick (191)
• Philippines
20 Mar 07
same with me, must save first for my children.
@jay_em93 (99)
• Philippines
16 Mar 07
Sometimes we all make sacrifices, i have a high regard for mothers of the world and how they work hard raising their children, you'd only realise if your successful in being a mom when you see your children grow into good men and women. I think mothers should work too,they shouldn't depend too much on their husbands, it is nice if you can buy something from your own pocket. do you agree?
1 person likes this
@ellanick (191)
• Philippines
16 Mar 07
you have a point there! wife should not depend too much on their husband, they need also to grow, need money of their own. very much agree!
@jay_em93 (99)
• Philippines
16 Mar 07
It you're a full time mom you get mix emotions about your situation,you'd still feel that there is something that is lacking, you need to go out and pursue your career but before you do this i think time management is very important, make sure you still have time to play with your kids or just to check it if they're doing well in school, kids need their mom too and i think it will be sad if you'd be a success in your career but a failure in your home so try to balance both.
1 person likes this
@ellanick (191)
• Philippines
16 Mar 07
that's what I feel when I was pregnant with my first child! i feel that i need to grow, to learn more but now I am already having second thought of being a part time mom. yah! i think time management is the key! thanks!
@Debs_place (10525)
• United States
16 Mar 07
I too worked, while getting my masters and then the spring I got my masters, I became a single Mom. My son, was a little older, buthe said he never felt neglected. I had a schedule, it was real short on sleep but it worked for me. I got up about 3:30 AM, and studied about an hour, before I went to work, I would get to work about 6 AM and leave at 2:30. I would pick my son up by 3. We hung out from 3 until about 5:15, where we played and had dinner and talked. I went to school, got home about 9:30-10. Started laundry and the next days dinner. Studied until about midnight. Weekends weren't as bad. I would try to go to sleep by 11 PM and get up by 5, so I could getin about 3 hours of studying each morning before my son got up. After he got up, we would have breakfast together, and then do his Saturday activities - swimming lessons, hockey, whatever. After the activities, we would grocery shop, then come home and make dinner together, he would help me with laundry, we would play some games. Around 8 PM, he would settle down to watch TV, and I hit the books, I was in the room with him, sometimes he sat on my lap and watched TV. He knew I was there if he needed me. A day never went by that we did not have time for each other. Even though I was married at the time, his father was virtually non-existent in his life. He was only a father when it was convenient for him. If your husband is there and picks up the responsibilities as he should, I don't see a problem. Just make sure that during their awake time you pay attention to them. Forget being tired, it is not allowed.
@ellanick (191)
• Philippines
16 Mar 07
my hats off to you! youre doin great mom! hope I can do it too. as for my husband, lucky for me coz his always there for our children. i will try to manage my time. I know that it is hard to be a single mom, but you still manage to get through it. i know that your son will be proud of you someday. thanks!
• United States
16 Mar 07
i have no choice but to work full time.Im a single mother and i pay all my bills by myself.Alot of times i find myself at work missing the heck outof my kids.If i did have a choice in the situation id still work full time.For one i am and always have been independant and i feel having your children growing up seeing you work and pay bills shows them responsibility.Thats just my oppinion.But hey if you are able to be a full time mom wothout worrying about money situations then i say go for it.You can never spend too much time with your kids.
1 person likes this
@spindrift (197)
16 Mar 07
I feel for you it is a tough choice to make but may be having a day out of each week when you are with your kids and go somewhare or just have some fun baking, playing or reading books. As long as you have some special time them being mum. You need to have you own life to but at this age they are learning new things everyday and want to see this and be part of this. Could you not take a sabatical from work if you can afford to and return after a year or two may be by then you will have a new carear path and your childern will be at school
• United States
16 Mar 07
its great that your thinking of your kids future but your kids also need you it is best for a mom to take care of the kids rather than a nanny they say the first 6 years of a childs life is the most important and im sure your kids miss you and wish you were there more.im not trying to critisise you im just saying your kids are #1 and they should come first and you should find time for them even if you are tired its important to your kids especially for their development.
@tongie (111)
• Philippines
16 Mar 07
Im not a full time mother but i always make a point that i always have time to my daughter.
1 person likes this
@stormygrl (763)
• United States
16 Mar 07
If you're able to put off going for your Master's then do so. That's a young age that they need you not a fill in.That age and time with them will go all too fast. Give your time to your kids , enjoy them , if you don't you'll regret it. School will be there in 4 years but they won't be that age again.
1 person likes this
@UcoksBaBa (801)
• Indonesia
16 Mar 07
So why do thousands of career women nationwide opt to put their careers and salary-earning potential on the back burner to stay home to care for their children? Reasons can range from the exorbitant cost of childcare to deep emotional attachment, but one thing is clear: being a stay-at-home parent is a full-time job and something that still lands mostly in mommy's lap.
1 person likes this
• United States
16 Mar 07
Well I can't make the decision for you but I can give you my opinion. Your children come first in most cases. Are you married?? If so what does your husband think about being a sahm (stay and home mom) Can you make it living off of one income?? If so then there's your decision go for being a sahm children are only little for a little enjoy it while it lasts. I am a mother of 4 children and have been a sahm since my first was 3 months old. I wouldn't change it for the world because i see every little milestone they do. claire
1 person likes this
@selina0625 (1383)
• Philippines
16 Mar 07
If I had the choice and had the money to afford not working I would choose my kids instead of careers. As you said you have kids who are 1 and three, those are very tender age, the age of development of both mental and emotional as well as physical. This is the time that you and your kids will build the foundation of your bond as other and child.
• China
16 Mar 07
I suggest you choose to be a part-time Mom. At this time, your children need you very much. After missing the precious period, you will regret about it.
@babynanan (133)
• Philippines
16 Mar 07
What about your husband? For me, I would work coz it's so hard nowadays and it's so hard to put food in the table and provide them their needs if you will not work. You did that because you want to be a good provider and for your children. You can save and have your own business. In that way, you can both attend to your children and being a good provider. Don't feel guilty coz your children will understand, sooner or later. You can do it mom!! :)
1 person likes this
@shila07 (514)
• Bhutan
16 Mar 07
Do not worry friend, we the working mother have all these problems, we dont take much time to be with our children, we have to keep children with sitters or with other people. What to do, we are working only because we think of our childrens' future, have to save for our children for future. Iam also a working mother, i work in the hospital from morning 9 am to 3 PM, but after that i will be with my son playing. I too dont get much time to be with children.
@rpebad (89)
• Uganda
16 Mar 07
Your kids future is very important and your love is very paramount.they need you around but you are preparing for their future .i was thinking how about if you deciede to involve your nanny into this,tell her to bring your kids to your place of work atleast a 5 minute visit won't upset your boss.Weakends,stroll with them around remember they need your love.
1 person likes this
@paidmuse (30)
• Denmark
16 Mar 07
I am a full time mother of a 10 months old at the moment. I would say go part time mum. It's awesome spending your entire day with the children but a grown person needs to be with other grown ups as well. I am sure your kids won't feel let down because of that as I bet you will be there 100% if you also have some you time in between :)
1 person likes this
• Philippines
16 Mar 07
Just think that everything you're doing are not just for yourself alone. I believe you're doing all these because of your kids. You're not forever going to study, you'll soon finish your masters degree and promise to yourself that when that time comes you'll be able to cater to your children's needs.
• India
16 Mar 07
Your kids are very small and need a lot of your time and attention now. Once they grow up a little more, they will be going to preschool which is when you will have more time to work or study and save money. At that time, they will also be occupied and have friends. Right now just enjoy being a full time mom as you will never get this time again.
@onlyu2008 (172)
• China
16 Mar 07
I think you should love your kids.
@ellanick (191)
• Philippines
23 Apr 07
well, i love them very much!