What would you do if your husband wanted to change jobs but it meant a paycut?

United States
March 16, 2007 1:21pm CST
My husband wants to change jobs and for awhile it would be a paycut but in the end it would be a siginificant pay raise. I told him from the beginning that I know my car would have to be paid off for sure. Well after sitting down and looking into it's at least a $ 200 dollar a week paycut and that scares me. I want to support him but at the same time I don't want to lose everything we have gotten so far. I don't work because of the kids. I like staying at home with them and being here for them at all times and he can't call off work when they are sick and I couldn't do it everytime if I worked as well and daycare is just to expensive. He says he will not stay with his job now just to bank money. I want him to be happy but at the same time it is scarey. What are your opinions?
9 people like this
31 responses
• China
17 Mar 07
I think that you begain to save money or get job. if your husband want to change job,i believe he have engouh power get a very good job. in order to your life for late,.I fell that you must support him to change job,in my opinoins!!
2 people like this
• China
21 Mar 07
an excellent man must be the man who have changed job many times.just because he gets the more experience and studys more knowledge.so it is very necessary to support husband to change job.
@elisata (568)
• Netherlands
16 Mar 07
My husband had a very good job without too much stress.... Then he became a "victim" of a reorganization and he was fired, from one day to another... that was in 2001. He started a little business for himself, and as always, a start like that is very difficult. But at his age, he was than almost 50 years, it's hard to get a decent job in his profession... So he started out as an independent person, making very little money at first, but with my job's earning we got by.... and we had a lot of fun and a good time. And we enjoyed every progress he made... Now, 6 years later, he makes a more than full time income... I cannot even remember the hard times! Most important: a person, whehter male or female, got to work in the way he/she likes best. After all, he/she spends 8 or more hours a day at it! Fulfillment and happiness are the key to family happiness. So let go of the money... you can eat bread with salad and cheese for weeks if you have to, right? I don't know your age, but usually, people spend more than 30 or 40 years in work! So, please, let them be happy!
• United States
16 Mar 07
My husband and I could eat that but my kids couldn't and I don't expect them too . We are looking at all the possiblities and seeing how we can make this move.
• United States
16 Mar 07
ohhh..this is such a tough one..that is a huge paycut..well for me it would be..and i dont think i would be able to make it,,when you went threw the bills do uthink u will be bale to make it? maybe u can maybe babysit and amke some extra cash for the house..i know my neighbor she babysits and makes about $800 a mth..maybe you can look into that,,until he gets his money back in the new job? I would want him to be happy as well in his job..just make sure you have enough saved and ready for the paycut..i wish ya luck!
• United States
16 Mar 07
Babysitting isn't an option for me LOL. I love my kids but I can't stand other kids in my house messing it up LOL. I love other peoples kids as long as they aren't in my house LOL.
• Canada
16 Mar 07
It's really a hard situation when you're faced with reducing the family income. You say that "in the end," he will end up with a significant raise over what he earns now. How long will it be until "in the end"? How long will you be living with the reduction in pay? If it's what you can consider to be a reasonable amount of time, you can feel more confident about not losing what you've saved so far. If you can "maintain" what you've got (even if you don't save much more but you don't dip into your savings on a regular, weekly basis) then I think it's something I would absolutely consider, if I were in your position. Also, you might want to look at it from different perspectives... heaven forbid but what if your husband lost his current job, through no fault or decision of his own? He'd have a time period where he'd be looking for work and you'd be coping, right? But he's still going to have a steady income if he changes jobs willingly -- it'll just be less for awhile. That might make it more bearable in your mind? You should sit down together and see if you can run numbers and create a budget that fits within the parameters of what would be his new income for awhile. It would be tougher but at least you would see, in advance, that you could make it while he gets established in his new position. Finally, you mention that your husband won't stay where he is "just to bank money." This is a huge red flag in my opinion. It would seem that he is really unhappy at his current job and it sounds like he wants to change, no matter what. If he stays in his present job, he will get increasingly unhappy and increasingly resentful because he feels stuck there. That won't be good for you, your kids or your family. You'll have a much happier family dynamic, even with less income, if he likes his job. Sometimes, that in itself is worth tightening your belts for awhile. I wish you much luck... it's a tough decision.
1 person likes this
• United States
16 Mar 07
I totally understand your point and we are looking into everything. I am guessing within a year he will be able to do it. I know for sure my car has to be paid off. Then it might not be a struggle. Going to look into everything possible.
@silkyt34 (324)
• United States
16 Mar 07
wow this is a tough one.. how soon will he ba able to start this new job? if he starts right away i would say go ahead and do it because its coming up toward the sumer and all the utilitie bills will be going down which will take some of the burden off, if he cant start right away convince him to stay with the job he has now and just try to bank the extra 200 a week like your living on his new salary and see how well you can manage that way you will know how well you can deal with the pay cut and you will have money in savings just in case... tell him good luck and i hope things go well
1 person likes this
• United States
16 Mar 07
Thanks. I will definately tell him. We are trying to do that now and well it hasn't worked so far lol. Kids need this.. or the house or cars need this.. ya know how that goes.
• Philippines
17 Mar 07
That's quite a dilemma your in. I know what it feels like to be in your shoes. But i think if he stays at a job he is no longer happy to go to, it might affect his quality work in the long run. Actually, you're already doing a positive thing in saving for that time he changes jobs. I believe that new job would do your husband and you and your family a lot more good. Good Luck!!!
• United States
17 Mar 07
I have read all your responses and taking all of them into consideration. With his paycut after bills we have 25.00 left a month. So we don't even have grocery money. I am going to work part time during tax season but his job will require him to be on call all the time... So would be hard for me to work but will look into all of our options available to us.
@Jshean20 (14349)
• Canada
17 Mar 07
Well making ends meet is the most important thing but sometimes people under-estimate the importance of actually being happy with your job. If you're happier with your job, you're happier when you're at home which means your family is happier as a result; everyone wins. By the sounds of things, the situation would turn out for the better in the end anyways, you said yourself that in the end it results in a significant pay raise. Sometimes it's hard to accept change, a lot of worrying involved, just talk it through as a team and you'll be fine.
1 person likes this
@sarah22 (3979)
• United States
16 Mar 07
well, we have just done that, its hard and we have 2 kids. but i think and believe it will be good in the long run. he was not happy where he was before and always in a bad mood, now hes more relaxed and a happier person and im happy for him. if he stayed where he was ,i could not see that we would stay marride as there where times we fought to no end. it can be bad but one can make the most of it and living alittle harder can be good.best of luck to you.
1 person likes this
• United States
16 Mar 07
Thanks for the reply. It's very hard but I know that we will make it no matter what.
• Canada
16 Mar 07
I have always told my husband if he is not happy that he does not have to stay at the job he is with . Everytime he has ever wanted to switch though he has ended up getting more money instead of less . I see what you are saying and would be scared also . You want him to be happy but at the same time not having the money could make times very diffictlt especially when children are involved . I wish I had more to offer because I am not sure how I would feel if my husband wanted to take a paycut of that much . I don't know how we would survive but I would want him to do what was right for him at the same time . I hope everything works out for both of you !!
1 person likes this
• United States
16 Mar 07
Thank you for the response. Glad everything worked out for you.
@ironstruck (2298)
• Canada
17 Mar 07
I think it is important to like what you are doing. If your husband is unhappy with his job day after day, they he will start being an unhappy person all the time. Even when he is at home. Money is not everything. Sometimes there are things that must be sacrificed to maintain happiness.
1 person likes this
• United States
16 Mar 07
There are lots of ways to make money on the internet. I do typing at home. That way I can stay with my kids. Maybe you could do something like that until he gets his raise and is making better money. That way he wouldn't have to stick with a job that he isn't happy with. Be creative. You can make it through. I will keep you in my prayers and hope it all works out for you.
1 person likes this
• United States
16 Mar 07
I am looking at doing income taxes next year while both kids are in school but I have no clue what else to do. How did you start the typing from home? Thank you!!!
• United States
17 Mar 07
I think there is no other choice in the matter, if your husband is unhappy in his job, he will not be happy at home. I will not offer my suggestions to you, because you've heard them all already. I think you truly are concerned about your husband's happiness. Just be careful not to be selfish about what your needs are or your children's needs. Cut back where needed, and help make it possible for him to switch jobs sooner than that. A year is an awfully long time when you are miserable in your job. The resentment will build, and by then it might be too late. I wish you both all the luck.
• India
17 Mar 07
well miss does money really matters in this world.. i don say no but self satisfatction is the most important aspect of alll.. yes u hav to cut down ur expenses but a house wife is the home maker.. she is the governor of house... u hav to support ur husband as he looks upon u in adversity.. here is where ur bond of love will grow.. i may be just 23 to advice u but thats wat i feel.. sorry if i am wrong
1 person likes this
@WyldPnut (74)
• United States
17 Mar 07
I have been in your situation and I must say it is far more important to work at a job where you are happy. I worked at night while the children were home with my husband to make up the difference until he gained the needed ground at a new job.Working at a job you hate leads to problems at work and home. If you trust him then go along with his opinions and wishes after all he is providing for his family which is more than you can say for most men out there.
@Tarun47 (12)
• India
17 Mar 07
When it is paying at the end and all depends on you as the manager of the house if you can adjust the household expences I think even if he has a cutoff at the start you will be in a position to manage the famaly effeciantly.
1 person likes this
@kavi112 (232)
• India
17 Mar 07
u say u will have a rise after some time right.. y not he change the job then.. till ten u try out for some small job so that u could make up the expenses.. dont go for job which will be tediuous.. try out for something easy at at the same time u could get the pay for ompensating.. just for some time right try it out.. it will work.. with that both of u can be happy...
1 person likes this
• Philippines
17 Mar 07
I think your husband should understand better your situation in ur family now... I think he better stay in his current job even though he dont like to stay there anymore.. tell him to sacrifice a lil bit and wait for the right time before he change his job.. because it would be really hard for you guys so i hope he will stay with his job a lil bit more till you guys settled everything good.. Or on the other hand, if he have a pending job while working with his current job, then it would be easy for you guys to change his job right away.. But he doesnt have another job waiting for him, then he better have a pending job before he quit to his current job.
1 person likes this
• United States
17 Mar 07
I understand exactly what you are going through. I am a stay at home mom of two and my husband is a youth pastor. He makes decent, but a lot of the time we still come up short on bills and food expenses for the week. 200 dollars a week would honestly scare me too! If my husband wanted to change jobs I would be all for it if we could still pay our bills. Have you sat down and budgeted your monthly expenses versus the income that you would have coming in with the new job's income. If I saw that we could still make it, I would tell him to go ahead and go for it, but if I saw that it was going to make it pretty impossible for us to make it I would show him the monthly budget and see if maybe there was something else he could do. Maybe he could take the new job and try to do something also on the side to make money like selling on Ebay or mowing yards on days off or on the weekends. I would tell my husband that he would have to make sure that everything that we needed was still going to be provided for if he was to change jobs.
@navkat (23)
• Canada
17 Mar 07
You know, I used to value money and creature comforts above a lot of other things in life, so I can empathise with you. On the other hand, I've had to go through some hard times and learn some hard lessons. I've come to learn that a person can get used to living with almost nothing if they have to. It's hard and at first it's difficult to even fathom, but you can do it. Put yourself in your husband's shoes here for a second: He's got the sole responsibility of providing for your family. That's a tough and *scary* place to be. He probabally worries just as much as YOU do about running out of money, worries that he'll fail you guys. He probabally likes nice things and cable TV and having two cars as well. Despite ALL of that, he *still* believes that he and his family would be happier, healthier and better provided for if he took a different job. That means a LOT. What is the WORST that can happen here? You'll lose your car? incur a little debt? Okay. So you'll have to cut the cable out and dine at home more. It's not the end of the world. On the other hand, getting up every morning to go to a job that you hate and being forced to spend 9 hours a day doing things you don't like or want to do can make a person MISERABLE. It's daily. It never goes away. You can't forget about it by taking on a hobby. You never get to just "sleep in" or take breaks/naps. You have no control over 9 hours of your life every day and no relief. And the compounded effects from the stress and anxiety can affect everything from your health to your ability to enjoy even your free time. I'm not downplaying your role as wife and mother- that's some hard, stressful work too, but you have no one standing over you and monitoring your performance, and if the dishes go dirty a few times, or you decide to stay in your pyjamas all day, your family won't starve because of it. Women have had to make households out of very little, and almost anything can be done to have a comforatble life despite financial challenges. Don't be so willing to choose the short-term gratification over long-term happiness and health of your family. Good luck with this and I truly hope everything works out well for you guys!
• United States
17 Mar 07
If you haven't already made a budget, that would be the 1st place that I would start. You would be amazed at the amount of money you could save just by cutting out some of the extras. Some ideas: 1-Stop eating out or eat less frequently. 2-Get prepaid cellular service - that way you control the bill, the bill does not control you. 3-Try and downsize your bills such as credit cards. 4-Get rid of some of the channels of your cable/satelite service. Television only prevents you from realizing your dreams while you are watching others realize theirs. 5- Start a part time business. That would be the perfect way to bring in the extra $200 a week that you would miss and depending on the ages of your kids and the type of business you start, you can have your kids assist you in some way. Otherwise go for it and support him. Just let go of the fear which is another "dream killer". Life is too short to not be happy.
1 person likes this