What Should Be The Appropriate Time To Move Forward?

going forward - at which point is it safe to let ourselves go on.
United States
March 16, 2007 6:12pm CST
We all, at one point in our lives are faced with the fact that we just have to move forward with our lives. Though this can be particularly hard after being put through the ringer from a rather nasty break up during a relationship or after someone close to us passes on. Some have stated that if we did not allow ourselves a certain amount of time to grieve and just continue on with things, we are going ahead to quickly and at a later time we will suffer from going forward with our lives at to quick of a pace. In your minds, what do you think is the appropriate time for someone to move on? Please state what you think for after a relationship split and after death. To me it would seem to be on how strong the person was. It is entirely up to the person to decide what is right and wrong for him/herself. Though I think it is to soon, if a person is just jumping from relationship to relationship. After death I think it would depend on how close you were to the person who has passed.
3 people like this
8 responses
@kgwat70 (13398)
• United States
16 Mar 07
I think that an appropriate time to move forward depends on the person that is having to deal with the loss of a loved one or something else. We are all different and moving on is not so easy for many of us or all of us. Some people have a difficult time letting go and going forward. A friend of mine lossed her husband last June and she has not been able to move on as of yet and is still having a hard time grieving. Some people recover quicker and are able to go on. It would probably take me some time to move on, though maybe not as long as my friend or other people out there.
• United States
16 Mar 07
My sympathies go out to your friend. Loss of someone very dear to us is a hard road to travel on. I do agree that it all depends on the person on how soon they are able to move on from their loss and pick up the pieces. I have heard of some people taking years to recover from some sort of loss, but that is their personal perference in how long they wish to allow themselves to grieve. Thanks for repsonding.
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@MiLaw8 (75)
• Philippines
17 Mar 07
Your post is just in time for me. When the relationship ended, it is best for the person to move on the soonest possible time. Maybe she/he could give oneself to grieve and cry her/his hearts out. Pour all the emotions. After that, go out with other people, see people and visit different places that could ease down the hurt you have. Second, when someone passed away who is close to you. Based from my experience, this is the most horrible time for me. I really find it difficult to cope up. Its really hard to accept things even if it takes sometime that that person passed away. I agree with what you said that it really depend on how close that person to you.
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@matlgal (1687)
• United States
17 Mar 07
I thinkink grieving is a natural process that we have to allow ourselves in order to heal. In my past experience I think it goes in phases a bit. First there is hurt, disbelief- How could "he/she do this to be"? Then there is sadness and confusion..... What will happen to me now? How can I survuve.... I will miss "US" so much Then the Anger sets in (at least for me) "How dare he/She do this to me!!!! How dare they reduce me to this ! Then there is "the Plan" that's when progress and healing begin. I will find another job, I will meet new people, I will do nice things for "ME"... and so on. I think it's important NOT to skip any of the processes. I thibk if you go to denial or pretend it's something that it's not the process is muted but not gone. The grieving will only last longer. I was once told by a marriage counselor in a Divorce Recovery workshop " FEEL the emotion - it's yours, you own it" whether it be sadness, anger or joy you own it,... allow yourself to feel it. Hope that explains what you were looking for a little.
2 people like this
• United States
17 Mar 07
I agree with what you have stated in your response. I am just looking for people's opinions on this subject. I have been in discussion about this topic with several friends of mine and they hold good and valid points, was wanting to expand it beyond just what me and my friends where gabbing about. Thanks for responding!
1 person likes this
@mnflower (1305)
• United States
16 Mar 07
I would have to agree with you in saying that it is up to the person that is going through it , they know how strong they are and they can follow there heart and it will let them know when it is time to move ahead.. To often people jump from one relationship to another and this is just from there insecurity within themselves and they feel they always need someone around, but in the long run they will continue doing this till they take time out and found out who they are and what they really want...
• United States
16 Mar 07
Thanks for responding. I know how it is hard for some to spend time alone. Been through it more than a couple of times, but would never go from relationship to another. I am not judging those that do it, for it is their lives. It's just to fast in my line of thinking.
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@Azrayel (95)
17 Mar 07
I don't feel that there is a "set time" per se, but to just carry on doing the things you do, and going out with friends and when you see someone you like then you'll know if your ready or not. I know this doesn't apply to everyone but thats how i do it and it seems to work.
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• Singapore
17 Mar 07
I think it is a case by case thingy. Different people require different amount of time... so only you yourself can know. :/
1 person likes this
• United States
17 Mar 07
That is true, only the person going through the situation can truly know when they are ready to move on with their lives.
@deeeky (3669)
• Edinburgh, Scotland
17 Mar 07
Going forward has to be the way but we can still grieve as we go through life on the same or different path that we have made for ourselves. It's not easy, but the sooner we go on with our lives the better the future will hold for us.
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• China
17 Mar 07
We should move forward at the appropriate time!For example,when we are in bad relationships with others,we should stop,and do something to make up it.Then,we must move forward on!
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