Can past lovers be friends?

Philippines
March 17, 2007 1:54am CST
It's quite hard to be friends with your ex especially if things between the two of you were really bad. Someone told me that after a while the hurt will just fade. I really don't know..any ideas?
3 people like this
8 responses
@jillann (781)
• Philippines
17 Mar 07
Yes, past lovers can be friends. But this rarely happens. When lovers become friends, the feeling is sometimes awkward especially if both of you share the same group of friends. But having your past lover as a friend would be good, because at least you can still be there for each other... that's just my opinion... =)
• Philippines
18 Mar 07
Yea, that won't change because you both shared "something" meaningful. But at the same time you learn from each other.
1 person likes this
@pinklilly (3446)
• Australia
17 Mar 07
It really does depend but it is possible usually the first instinct is to hate but it does fade. I am friends with one particular ex and have been on speaking and aknowlegment to other ex's in passing... I still love him and always will but in a different way and wish him all the happiness in the world. Friendship is stronger....
2 people like this
• Philippines
18 Mar 07
True, we will always love our exes..like have this special place in our heart. There will be memories but if we finally meet out one true love, that's going to be different right?
1 person likes this
@raijin (10380)
• Philippines
17 Mar 07
Well there's a saying about this, and I think this saying depends on how mature we are and by how we handle a good relationship. The saying goes like this, "Bestfriends can be lovers, but lovers can't be bestfriends." If we know how to forgive and forget, then I think it is possible for us to be friends with our past relationships or ex's.
• Philippines
18 Mar 07
True! I have to learn how to forgive..that's the best way to move on. My ex and I were best friends, but after we broke up we were the best enemies. We're trying to build that friendship but it's the trust that's hard to return in that relationship.
1 person likes this
• Canada
17 Mar 07
Well, my Sweetheart's daughter just had a car accident. Her mother (ex #2) contacted him, since the daughter lived with him. They hadn't spoken in years, but her accident brought them closer. Then #3 (her step-mom) called to see how she was doing. I answered the phone both times, and when they realized that I would not pass judgement, they opened up to me. Then they opened up to him on friendly terms, out of mutual caring for their (step) daughter. They are not as they were when they were married, but they are no longer enemies either. Her accident brought them back to the family, somehow.
2 people like this
• Philippines
18 Mar 07
That's great to hear. But it took an accident for everyone to realize how precious time is...
1 person likes this
@Shaun72 (15968)
• Palatka, Florida
17 Mar 07
I think it all depends on how long you were together with your ex. I mean I have alot of ex boyfriends i am friends with. Some of them it hurts to bad to be friends with espically my ex husband
• Philippines
18 Mar 07
I stayed with my ex for 6 years. I don't think we both are ready for that friendship thing. He avoids it cos we both know he did something really bad to me. We were best friends for 2 years before we seriously went out together. It's just hard...I just wana know that I am not the only one who feels this way.
1 person likes this
@pumpkinjam (5750)
• United Kingdom
17 Mar 07
I always stayed friends with my ex's. I don't really see most of them now but I always say hello to them on the rare occassions I do see them. I now have a better relationship with my oldest sons dad than I did while we were together. It was definitely harder to stay friends with him than any others though. It was my first "grown up" relationship, ie. as an adult, living together, lasting for more than 5 minutes! So it was harder and it took a hile but we get on ok now. I have almost always had relationships with people who I was friends with first and I think being friends again afterwards was important. Being friends does depend on how the relationship was but I think in almost all cases, you can be friends with exes evebtually.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
18 Mar 07
My ex-bf mom told me this after me and her son broke up-try to be friends with each other. She said that if we, say, meet on an airport, wouldn't it be nice to at least smile to each other instead of avoiding one another? My ex's mom was nice to me and she treated me like a daughter.
2 people like this
@wildhorse (1293)
• Egypt
17 Mar 07
I think being real friends will not work out but the bittrness and hard feelings will fade with time, if someone and his/her ex could be friends they would not seprate in first place, they may just be a distant relation or another one you know, etc but never a friend or you would start thinking about getting back together and it was wrong to seprate. at least that's how i see it.
• Philippines
18 Mar 07
Yea, that's what makes me think sometimes-what went wrong in the first place. I guess we sometimes move on with life..maybe there's something better out there for me and you and everybody...
1 person likes this
• China
17 Mar 07
Friends will inevitably be conflicts,we need to actively resolve it. So that our friendship can be more solid.
• Philippines
18 Mar 07
Thank you (^^)