hurting kids as a form of discipline...

@fianne (1059)
United States
March 17, 2007 2:29am CST
my neighbor sees to it that she does not hurt her kids when she scolds them. but one day, she was forced to hurt her eldest son, she slapped him on the face with his schoolmates around because he was saying nasty things to her mom. she did not mean to hurt him she said.she felt like she was disrespected especially that her son's friends are laughing while he says bad words. what do you think?
17 responses
@shellyrios (1215)
• United States
17 Mar 07
I think as a parent it is very hard when children are blatantly hurtful on purpose and sometimes you let your emotions get the best of you. I don't think she intentionally meant to slap him in the face, but it was more of an impulsive reaction and I'm sure it made her feel bad afterward. No parent is perfect it's hardwork and children only understand once they have children of their own.
@fianne (1059)
• United States
18 Mar 07
yes, i agree. children will really understand the suffering of their parents, once they are parents and got kids.
• United States
17 Mar 07
I don't think she was in the wrong I would have done the same thing had I been in her shoes and I know that my mother would have done the same to me as mother did pop me in the mouth for swearing in front of her not to her just in front of her and still to this day I do not swear in front of my mother hopefully he learned his lesson
@fianne (1059)
• United States
17 Mar 07
yes, spider. i told her you did just fine. but i hoped you did it somewhere his friends are not there. though it may be good they saw it but it might lead to some misinterpretations by the friends.
@katyzzz (2902)
• Australia
19 Mar 07
She should have sent his friends home. She needed to find a better way than hitting. But, it is tough being a parent. Especially with boys, for a mother.
• United States
19 Mar 07
I don't think she was wrong. He thought he was being a bigshot - and sometimes a slap is what's needed. I prefer a spanking on the behind... but when it's a teenager - sometimes they need a slap. Too many parents today just try to reason with their kids - and that doesn't always work. I'm so tired of being in the mall or grocery store and hearing a child SCREAMING at the top of their lungs because they aren't getting something they want. Not just babies! I'm talking up to maybe 10 years old. And I hear the mom saying "Please stop" "Please don't do that" "Let's talk about this", etc. It goes on and on. What she really needs to do is take the child outside the store and give them a spanking. I would never have dreamed of acting like that as a child. Another thing I hear is kids telling their parents not to tell them this or that, and basically swearing at their parents. The little brats need to go home and have their mouths washed out with soap. If I had talked to my mom that way she would have knocked some sense into me. I got spankings as a child and I turned out just fine.
@magnel (2263)
• India
19 Mar 07
That was the right she did ... nowadays people enjoy if someone says bad word they feel that its cool to say bad words...
• United States
18 Mar 07
Hello!!!! This CHILD is being disrespectful. Spare the rod spoil the child. today parents are afraid of their children. They also want to be pals with thier kids instead of their parents. Being a parent is tough. You will not win any popularity contests while raising your kids. But if your child needs "correction" it is your Job to do it.
@ratburn (939)
• Philippines
18 Mar 07
you said your neighbor does not hurt her kids when she scolds them. she might not know it but her scolding can sometimes lead to verbal abuse. sure we don't hurt them physically but scolding them can hurt them emotionally. i'm not taking sides here but you also have to look at where the kid is coming from. the kid might have said some nasty thing to her mom because the mom also says nasty things to him. what i mean is, this kid might have been verbally abused already and it's reflecting in his own actions. he thinks it's okay to shout and say nasty things because it's done to him as well. aggressive children only reflect the aggression around them. your neighbor should start putting up an atmosphere of love and respect more than shouting and scolding. kids make mistakes. we just have to talk to them and be civilized with them. in that way, they will also act that way towards others.
@timou87 (1642)
• Singapore
18 Mar 07
i totally agree with what your neighbour did. kids must be disciplined at a young age, and saying disrespectful things to ones parents at such a young age must be punished. of couse there is a fine line between discipline and physical abuse, but in this case i dont feel she has crossed that line.
@catcai (1057)
• Philippines
18 Mar 07
I dont see anything wrong with what your neighbor did, it was her son anyway and she was the mother, and based from the situation, SHE has all the right to do whatever she wanted with her kid at that point. Good thing she only slapped her kid, i really don't know what up with the kid's today, they're getting more and more rude everyday. She doesn't deserve to be treated that way by her kid. Besides, what she did will be an example for her sons friends... well hopefully.
@chavezrmc (5766)
• Philippines
18 Mar 07
it depends on every situation. In the situation that you site here i guess its just right that she hurts her son. I believe that sometimes we need to let them see who we are and who are they. Kids must be spank whenever need arises, but not always. We might do something and Let them feel the exisgency of the things that needed to discipline them.
@raicheal (64)
• Philippines
18 Mar 07
i don't go on the thought of hurting kids. kids should be treated gently because when you hurt them, your not showing them the discipline that they deserve. parents should teach their child about the proper manners and let them do their thing. well, it's normal for kids to be naughty sometimes, but eventually, when they grow up with the proper teachings of their parents, they will realize that what they did was bad.
@jennybianca (12914)
• Australia
18 Mar 07
I know this is not appropiate to slap her child's face, but it is understandable. My friend hit slapped her 18 year son on the face last year, for gross rudeness to her. Probably it's better to have her rude son face some consequences, perhaps missing out on his favourite meal, not watching TV, or not washing his clothes.
@Makoy1983 (1085)
• Philippines
18 Mar 07
sometimes it would be best to inflict hurt to them to let them realize how grave their mistakes is. they'll learn from it
• Ireland
17 Mar 07
I think it was very degrading for your friend to slap a child in fron of his classmates. I realise she was probably quite angry and the fact that the classmates were laughing make it even worse. I don't approve of slapping and I would find some other sort of punishment instead. I would also do it when the friends are not around as I wouldn't like to embarrass my children. We have to teach by example.
@sweetie88 (4559)
• Pakistan
17 Mar 07
I think that his mother did wrong. No doubt! Parents always want try their best to teach manners to their babies but i think that they should n't slapped their babies specially, in front of people. My 1 aunt do it and now, her babies do n't take care for her and simply do whatever they wanna do. I think that "Love" teaches more than "beat".
• Ireland
17 Mar 07
I don't believe in slapping or hurting children. There are more less severe forms of punishment that could be implemented. Slapping or reprimanding a child in front of his schoolmates is very degrading for them and I would never consider doing this to one of my children. I would take the child aside when there is nonody around and I would then take any appropriate action that was deemed necessary, but never slapping.
• Philippines
17 Mar 07
I understand why this happened. It was unplanned. It happened out of a spurt of anger and of humiliation. The child has truly gone beyond the limits, so very disrespectful of him. Your neighbor owe it to her son to explain her side. Why it happened. She must warn her son never to do it again. She may say sorry she did it in front of so many, it has surely exposed the son to much humiliation. The son though must also see how much had he angered and humiliated his mother. The son must say how sorry he is for what he did and must promise his mom never to do it again. There is no substitute for a good talk to iron things out.