I am passive aggressive, could you give me some advice?

United States
March 18, 2007 5:43pm CST
It's been a problem most of my life. It's getting better, but there are times when people walk all over me. I think I might be better since my son was born since I can at least tell him how I feel. I tell my husband, but when I am angry with him, I still keep it inside. When I am upset with my son however, it all comes out. Yelling and screaming. If you aren't like this, how do you approach people? I don't like to hurt other people either. that't tough. Even when I'm driving. Especially when it comes to older drivers, but they are pretty bad sometimes. Advice anyone?
1 person likes this
5 responses
@MsJessi (423)
• United States
19 Mar 07
I used to be just like that...I would hold it all in and I accepted a lot of things I shouldn't have, and I let people walk all over me too... BUT Something, somewhere along the line, changed that and now i don't. But here's my advice to you...try to make a concious effort to stop holding things in and talk about them before they get you to that point where you explode! Cause that's what will happen. Seriously, I have major issues with that now, and it's hard to control sometimes, I mean I'm not always like this, and not too much with strangers, but I have a hard time controlling my anger now...so it's kind of gone to the extreme opposite.
• United States
19 Mar 07
Yes, I am a lot better with it towards my husband, but when it comes to co-workers or strangers, not so much. It's kind of weird though because my husband doesn't let anyone walk on him. He is very good at confrontation. He is calm, courteous and knows what he is going to say. I should be more like him since we've known eachother for 13 years! Crazy it doesn't rub off of him onto me. I guess it's good that you realize how you are though. A lot of people have problems controlling their anger and deny it.
@Stringbean (1273)
• United States
18 Mar 07
I have never heard of anyone being passive aggressive. It seems kind of contradictory. Your behavior, whatever you call it, is unacceptable. Children should not have to be exposed to yelling and screaming no matter what the reason. I would advise you to take some anger management classes as soon as possible, and, if that doesn't help, you should seek medical advice. And what does age have to do with drivers? There are reckless drivers in all age groups.
• United States
19 Mar 07
If you have never heard of the term passive aggressive, you must be pretty sheltered. Passive aggressive means to not explode and keep things inside. IE:no anger management needed because it's inside. And yes I said I yell at my child, but who doesn't? I don't yell at him where it would traumatize him. And also, there are reckless drivers in all age groups, but I was using and example of old folks because I don't like to be mean to old folks when they are bad drivers. Do you have anymore advice?
• Philippines
26 Mar 07
i am the same. I let people walk all over me. use me as well. I dont get mad. I cry inside. then still smile. been doing this for so long that one day, i dont want it any more. Everything turn out to worse. I learned to shout and be mad at everything. i even become physical. All the negative energies are coming out because it had been to long since i have released anything. All the pain and hurt all bottled up went out. I cant control it. But my family really knows me and loves me, they help me deal with it. They let me do it, be mad, cry and shout until i remove everything from my system. and make a fresh start and move on. I had to do it so i could live my life as i want it, without having to be afraid to speak up and let people know what im thinking and feeling. All you have to do is be honest to your family with everything and ask them for help if you need it.
@tammyr (5969)
• Etowah, Tennessee
22 Mar 07
I would suggest a class in Karate' or self defense. Any of the other martial arts as well. They are not just about the fight as building convidence and discipline. The best thing I can say is make small steps. Fist try to stop yelling at your son, please. It is not good for him. Then then next time your hubby makes you mad, tell him. Don't put him on the defensive, just state that you are upset and tell him why. Then decide what to do with that. I use to be shy and would not speak up. Then When I got pregnant something changed in me. Now I am outspoken and do not know a stranger.
@kurtbiewald (2629)
• United States
18 Mar 07
hmmmmmmmmmmmm just avoid the older drivers, they go so slow and sometimes can't even see anymore, accidents waiting to happen I figure I think I have that passive aggressive thing too maybe. Try to be nice to your son. Don't let people walk on you unless they are very small.