Funeral arrangements

@ossie16d (11827)
Australia
October 17, 2006 11:04am CST
Maybe a bit premature but I would like to discuss this matter. Do your family know your wishes as to what is to happen after your passing? Do you wish to be buried or cremated or even your body donated to science for medical research? Do you want to have your ashes scattered somewhere special, i.e. in the rose garden, at sea, or kept by your loved ones in an urn at home? Have you discussed these issues at all with your family? It doesn't matter how old you are, this is something that everyone should let their loved ones know about. My family know that I want to be cremated and my ashes put in any waterway, i.e. ocean, river, stream. This way whenever they go to the water they can think of me as possibly being near them somewhere.
2 people like this
21 responses
@erielle (1281)
• United States
27 Oct 06
I could care less what they do with my body personally. It wont effect me none after I die, So I'de rather think about them. If it makes them feel better to know that I am buried in a family cemetary, so be it.
2 people like this
@ossie16d (11827)
• Australia
27 Oct 06
Thanks for contributing to the discussion. :)
@ShannaS (559)
• United States
20 Oct 06
My husband knows that I want all organs that can be salvaged to go to a needy person but the rest we really haven't discussed without it being in a joking manner. I have thought about getting one of those living wills and trusts but just haven't gotten off my butt and done it. I lost my sister to a car accident 6 mos ago and she left behind 4 kids, both dads are in Utah and now that is where most of the kids are. She had 2 girls by one father and 2 boys by another. One child is living here w/ his grandmother but the mom (my birth mom) and my other sister are fighting for custody. It's horrible to watch. I wish to prevent anything like that in the future
@ossie16d (11827)
• Australia
22 Oct 06
How awful for everyone to suddenly lose not only your sister/daughter but also access to her children. I hope that something is sorted out soon and without too much stress for everyone. Good luck with it. Thanks for responding to the discussion.
@ShannaS (559)
• United States
22 Oct 06
Thank you..... They are working through it but it's very painful to whitness. Thank you
@ossie16d (11827)
• Australia
26 Oct 06
I hope that through this troubling time you are able to get some peace of mind as well as 'distance' yourself just a little bit from everything that is happening. That way you will be able to offer support and/or a shoulder to cry on should the need arise in the future.
• United States
27 Oct 06
My family knows of my wishes. I wish to donate all my organs and be buried in the cemetery where my grandparents and 1 uncle are buried.
@ossie16d (11827)
• Australia
27 Oct 06
It is good that your family knows your wishes regarding both your organ donation and your final resting place. Thanks for responding to the discussion. :)
@ossie16d (11827)
• Australia
7 Nov 06
I have given you a positive (+) rating for your response. :)
@rmuxagirl (7560)
• United States
22 Oct 06
I haven't discussed my wishes yet, but we've talked about my mom's. I want my body given to science, if it could be my body that helps save someone else, so be it. Like if an organ I have matches someone i need I want them to use it.
1 person likes this
@ossie16d (11827)
• Australia
23 Oct 06
I hope you feel comfortable enough soon to talk about what you want to happen because unfortunately accidents do happen, regardless of age. Thank you for sharing it with us. :)
@ossie16d (11827)
• Australia
5 Nov 06
I have given you a positive (+) rating for your response to the discussion. :)
@kelz784 (975)
• Australia
18 Oct 06
Hi! Good topic! Im only 22 and I have told my family and fiance that I want to be cremated and put in the ocean. Its not written down anywhere formally but at least they know. It terrifies me to think I will get eaten by worms thats why I chose cremation.
1 person likes this
@ossie16d (11827)
• Australia
18 Oct 06
It is good that you are letting your family know your wishes, despite your 'young' age, should something unfortunate happen. Yes I am all for cremation as well. Thanks for responding. :)
@ossie16d (11827)
• Australia
5 Nov 06
I have given you a positive (+) rating for your response to this discussion. :)
@Bunny2 (2102)
• Australia
4 Feb 07
For years I have been saying that one any organs were retrieved for donation, I want to be cremated or failing that, I want to be embalmed. My hubby was totally against cremation and wanted to be buried. So we came to a compromise that I would be cremated and be buried wherever he would be buried. Interesting though that we are in the process of redoing our wills and now my hubby also wishes to be cremated.
1 person likes this
@ossie16d (11827)
• Australia
4 Feb 07
It is interesting that your husband has changed his stance on cremation Bunny, and make sure that your children know this too. I am the same as you, take any of my organs that can be used for transplant and then cremate me. Then my ashes can be scattered out at sea but my husband is like yours in that he wants to be buried not cremated, however my husband has not changed his mind. :)
@caribe (2465)
• United States
23 Nov 06
I have told a couple of people in my family that if I die in Nicaragua not to expect for me to be shipped back to the U.S. because it is too expensive and isn't necessary. You brought up a very good point. I suppose I need to write it in an email or something so that they are not confused about it when I die. This is a morbid subject but if more people would make plans, it would be easier for the family left behind to know how to proceed.
1 person likes this
@ossie16d (11827)
• Australia
24 Nov 06
It is good that you have made known your wishes and whilst it isn't the most pleasant subject to talk about, I believe it is essential that we let family know our wishes. I think that not to inform family of your wishes, you are only adding to their sadness at a time when they already have enough to cope with. Having to decide what to do with your mortal remains will only exacerbate the grief. Thanks for contributing to the discussion. :)
@SunnyDays (1071)
• Bahamas
27 Oct 06
My familiy knows that I am an organ donor and that I really don't care what they do with my body afterwards ...Most probably a cremation
1 person likes this
@ossie16d (11827)
• Australia
27 Oct 06
It is good that your family knows your wishes. Thank you for responding to the discussion. :)
• United States
27 Oct 06
I have told my family that it does not really matter as long as I am set to rest beside my husband. They can bury me or cremate me it does not really matter to me.
1 person likes this
@ossie16d (11827)
• Australia
27 Oct 06
At least your family know what your wishes are and I thank you for responding to the discussion. :)
@Bettyann (2486)
• United States
27 Oct 06
no my family has no clue i really don't know either
1 person likes this
@ossie16d (11827)
• Australia
27 Oct 06
One day you will decide what you want to happen and I hope that you will let your family know your wishes. Thanks for responding to the discussion. :)
@loved1 (5336)
• United States
18 Oct 06
This is a great idea because it takes the burdon off of your grieving loved ones. It may also dispell any arguments over what your wishes would have been.
@ossie16d (11827)
• Australia
18 Oct 06
Yes I too think that this is something that everyone should do. Thanks for your response.
5 Feb 07
We actually discussed this the other day. We both want to be cremated. My hubby wants us to be scattered in a place that we both hold dear. I had a strange reaction to that. I don't mind being cremated, I'm just not sure about being scattered. I would like to be scattered in two different places but that would involve two countries and that probably won't happen. I was thinking of us all being buried in the same plot, my hubby, me and my pooch. We still have some talking to do on this one.
@ossie16d (11827)
• Australia
5 Feb 07
You have made a start and are at least in agreement on what you want done, even if you haven't yet agreed on where your ashes are to be placed. Hopefully it won't be needed for a long time to come.
@Geminigirl (1909)
• United States
4 Feb 07
I have spoken about this a little with my family. It can be a touchy or emotional subject but it is a good one to talk about.
@ossie16d (11827)
• Australia
5 Feb 07
Yes it is important to discuss this with family, so they know your wishes. Unfortunately many people do not want to even hear about it and then it is left to others to make a decision, when they are already emotional. Not an easy call either way unfortunately but perhaps if the family will not discuss it, then write it down and let everyone know where the letter will be.
@avonrep1 (1862)
• United States
30 Nov 06
My whole family knows if I can I donate my organs. Then I am to be cremated. If not I told them I would come back and haunt them for not honoring my wishes.
@ossie16d (11827)
• Australia
30 Nov 06
I like the way you make sure they get the message about your wishes. LOL Thanks very much for contributing to the discussion. :)
@sherinek (3323)
• United States
30 Nov 06
My hubby gets very upset when we talk about it. He's very sensitive. I have told my sis in law that if i go first, they have to bury me within 24 hrs. But I make it a point to tell him that if I go before him he shouldnt look at other women and if he do so, I'd give him nightmares (LOL)
@ossie16d (11827)
• Australia
30 Nov 06
This is often a sensitive issue with a lot of people and that is only natural really, as none of us want to think about losing a loved one. See the response below this one, where the member is going to come back and haunt her family if they don't abide by her wishes. Maybe you should tell your family the same thing and see their reaction. Thanks very much for responding sherinek. :)
@LadyCroft (704)
• Australia
23 Nov 06
If you have any real wishes for your burial you should always talk with your loved ones. OR simply out them in a request. I personally want to be cremated and my husband keeps my ashes till he passes (or vice a versa) then we are to be placed together somewhere always close to our son.
@ossie16d (11827)
• Australia
24 Nov 06
You have a lovely idea and at least you are in agreement with what should happen when the time comes. Thanks for sharing it with us.
@firelight (1858)
• Australia
16 Nov 06
No I haven't discussed this with my family, I haven't even made a decision what I would like myself.
@ossie16d (11827)
• Australia
22 Nov 06
Thanks for responding firelight and I hope one day you will consider this and let your family know your wishes. :)
@KrauseHome (36264)
• United States
16 Nov 06
It would all depend. I think I would prefer to be Buried somewhere, so people would know where I am, but a lot of it might be Cost, and how I die when that happens.
@lilaclady (28238)
• Australia
16 Nov 06
yes I have discussed my wishes with my executors and I also have it all written down, as one who has been in the situation of making decisions for others who have passed on I wouldn't want to leave that for someone else to do for me...
@ossie16d (11827)
• Australia
17 Nov 06
Yes I agree that it is best to make sure that your loved ones know your wishes rather than leave them to decide when they are already grieving. Thank you very much for your contribution to the discussion lilaclady. :)
@carmat (2850)
• Canada
16 Nov 06
I am 29 years old,married and have 4 wonderful children. We have been talking about making arrangements. I want to be cremated and placed in a niche. My grandfather did that. What a beautiful,peaceful place to go pay respect to him. Like My grandfather always said"Everyday above ground is a good day".
@ossie16d (11827)
• Australia
17 Nov 06
What a lovely idea and I am pleased to see that you have discussed what you want with your family. Thanks very much for your contribution to the discussion. :)