what would you do?

@missyd79 (3438)
United States
March 19, 2007 3:57pm CST
If you were dating someone for 13 months and then you decide to take a break because things were just going to the pot, but you both decided that you want to work on things you just need space. Then you find out the other person put a profile on one of the online dating services, by going into the email and seeing the confirmation of joining. Would you confront them about it? would you just say it is not going to work and break it off totally? what would you do?
2 people like this
19 responses
@7nicole1 (1634)
• Canada
19 Mar 07
Well if it was me I would break it off because it sounds like the other person is getting ready to move on so why wait and get hurt. I would confront them to see why they did it anyways and still break it off.
2 people like this
• United States
20 Mar 07
did the person make the profile after deciding to take the break or while you were together before decidig to take the break or after deciding to work things out?
1 person likes this
@missyd79 (3438)
• United States
20 Mar 07
The person made the profile 2 days after deciding to take a break but to work on making things better. i just do not see how that is working on making things better. how does that show the other person that they really do want to work on the relationship.
• United States
19 Mar 07
Missy, it depends on the feelings that this person has for the other. If they want to get back, then yes, they should confront them. If they don't, then I would leave it go and break off completely. Relationships are about trust and communicating. Good luck dear, hope this helped.
1 person likes this
@missyd79 (3438)
• United States
20 Mar 07
thank you. i will keep you posted
• United States
19 Mar 07
I think the fact that you both decided to take a break and have your space kind of leaves the other person and you the freedom to explore other possibilities. If you relationship was meant to be.. your friend would return to you despite..maybe..dating someone else..If there is no marriage yet ..why not test the waters ..perhaps you were never meant to be together and maybe you were.. You never know till you are apart and see what "fate" hands you.
@missyd79 (3438)
• United States
20 Mar 07
yes we both decided to take a break but also to work on the relationship. so where does exploring other opitions going to help make the relationship better?
• United States
26 Mar 07
Personally, I think the mere and simple fact that you "need space" from this person says that they are perhaps not the person for you. The person you choose as your lifetime partner should be someone that you rely upon during rough times and busy times in your life. To need a break from them seems to me to say that perhaps there is somehing not quite right and you may have been hanging on just to have someone. The fact that the other person is obviously out there looking intently says that they feel the same, you're convenient and great, etc. but just not "the one". My personal opinion, based only on what you wrote and not knowing any more about either of you or your past relationship. Good luck with any decision you make on it.
• United States
22 Mar 07
I'm afraid I would call it quits. Sounds like it's over to me.
1 person likes this
• United States
20 Mar 07
That person wants to move on. My ex did that with her bdsm crap profile. we were on a break and when we kind of got back together she showed me some stuff she had been getting into. On her profile it said single. I asked her if she could now change it and she did (while I was there). I also put my profile up on a dating site while on the break. I did it just to see if anyone else would be remotly interested in me. HAHAHAHA After we got back together I just ignored any email I got from them because I didn't know how to take my profiles off. If I was you I would confront him about it and see why he did it. Maybe he was just curious or maybe he wants to do more then just take a break. There still could be a chance for you two just think with your head not your heart.
1 person likes this
• Canada
20 Mar 07
I think I'd break it off completely. When you know something isn't working and then you get proof of something like that, why continue the lie? I don't think confronting them about it is really going to solve anything, especially if you both know the relationship isn't worth saving.
@vebela (310)
• United States
20 Mar 07
I think understand where you're coming from. Maybe you feel like if you had some time and space for each of you to grow, that it would bring you back together. But, it seems to me that a good amount of people interpret "taking a break" to mean "exploring other options." And, it looks as though that's the way he's interpreting it...leaving you as a back-up on the side. Honestly, I would confront him about it. It's not worth the anguish on your part to try to wait it out and months later find out he's decided not to be with you. If that's the way he really wants to go, then you have to decide that you deserve better than that and move on.
• United States
20 Mar 07
aww, that hurts but for me i would just totally break the relationship maybe thats why its not working because you are the only one who likes to work things out. and i wont confront the other person i think its pretty obvious that his not that serious about getting the relationship work out and to find the truth it would just really hurt you..
1 person likes this
@michele609 (1687)
• United States
20 Mar 07
I am going through a thing like this now and I am very upset about it becasue this is the person I am trying to spend the rest of my life with. Not that he put a profile ( I think) but he is online searching for an ex girlfriend becasue she is now dating his cousin. I think the best thing that you should do is break it off because it is not worth it.
1 person likes this
@Marie2473 (8521)
• Sweden
20 Mar 07
I am one of those people that donĀ“t belive in breaks. You can not take a break from feelings and almost always (in my experiance) it means that the relation is ending. However one thing keeps bugging me - were you in HIS email? And why were u in there? If it is his emails it sounds as there are also trust issues and if u think about it, that is not a good foundation for a relationship!
1 person likes this
@34momma (13896)
• United States
20 Mar 07
if you are taking a break i am going to asume it is because you know there are some issues. i think that if you really want to move on, then i would just tell them you know what this is not working for me and i think it is best that we just move on. because if they were serious about working on the relationship then stuff like that would not happen
• United States
20 Mar 07
I think I would do both. Confront them about it and also break it off. To me it sounds like their not all that into working things out.
1 person likes this
• India
20 Mar 07
I would probably go forward and talk to the opposite person about the matter. And get it clear what he wants and what you want out of this relation. If you both go in the opposite directions, then i dont think that there is any point in continuing this sort of a relation.
1 person likes this
@Willowlady (10666)
• United States
20 Mar 07
If you shared that email then yes mention it to the guy. Seems like if you were spying then the relationship is over. Trust is key. Communication is also very important so you must talk about this if he will do so. As long as I was in shared email then yes I would talk about it if he was willing. Could very well be time to move on. You have so much more information so you should very well know if it is time to call the whole think off.
1 person likes this
@CatEyes (2449)
• United States
20 Mar 07
Well I would take it like a very big signal saying; I dumped you. I would confront and then dump. That is just to cruel for words.
1 person likes this
• United States
20 Mar 07
I would confront the person and ask how long that they had be on a on line dating service and see where it goes from there
• United States
19 Mar 07
well i would say that person must not of wanted to work it out if they are going to sites like that d say see ya!
1 person likes this