Like mother like daughter... is this really so?
March 19, 2007 9:38pm CST
I hope not... because i dont wanna grow up to be like my mom- when she puts on her VERBALLY ABUSIVE side...you must be thinkin how ungrateful i am- I am verymuch gratefull for everything that she has done and given to me. I know she's a very good mom, but i pray that i dont turn out to be like her with my coming daughter- I hope i dont get to say the things that my mom deliberately says to me, degrading remarks such as me being good for nothing, being a disgrace, being a failure, an embarassment to our family, a sl*t and so much more.. I hope i dont grow up to verbally abuse my daughter someday- does this make me a bad daughter not wanting to be like my mom? sometimes with all her words- I'm beggining to think did i really come from her? because if in case i would turn out to be adopted then i think i would understand her better... I dont want to hurt my child the way she does hurt me- i don't wanna make my child feel abandoned or neglected-just like what my mom makes me feel right now...what dio you have to say about this?
20 Mar 07
Honey the thing is when someones parents have been abusive in some way it is very hard to break the cycle. Do you know if your mum was treated in the same way? If she was it could be that she is just not strong enough to break that cycle but you , my friend are strong enough to break this cycle and ensure that your daughter is never treated in this way!
21 Mar 07
Thats also one of my problems mummy, I know for a fact that my MOM was not mistreated in anyway by my grandmother or grandfather- She came from a big family- she has 8 siblings in all. All i know was that she was frustrated because my grandmother wasn't finacially able enough to let her continue into law school- she just took up - education as her pre law course and she ended being a teacher when she really wanted to be a lawyer, thats the only conflict that i know of with regards to her and her mom..but i really dont think that my grandma verbally abused her or something- my grandmom isnt really like that as fas as i can remember...I just sincerely hope i dont get this trait from my mom- but i am scared because sometimes, when im pissed- i really do start to swear a lot.. i hit my mouth with my hand if this happens.. =( childish i know, but its the only thing that reminds me not to swear too much... thanks mummy...
20 Mar 07
I think in MOST cases yes. Maybe because daughters usually grow up with their mothers than their dads. As a woman, it is the responsibility of the mother to teach her daughter the proper way of behaving like a girl. So unconciously, the daughter adopts the behavior of the mother. If i'm not mistaken, there were even some studies that proved that even if the daughter grew away from her mother or her parents, she still inherited some of their traits. But i think this doesn't last. Like in your case, you reliazed that you don't want to be like your mom. It is now up to you if you will live that realization. People change. =)
• United States
20 Mar 07
you are doing the first step to avoid it. just noting and observing what she does that you don't like and wouldn't want to emulate. then maybe read psych books, see a good psychologist if you can to help more with that also try to not do what she did some of it is unavoidable due to genetics and her influence while raisning you some of it is changeable if you work on it