Communication: Do you believe the old myth that NO means YES?

@kbkbooks (7030)
Canada
March 19, 2007 10:04pm CST
I have often heard that when a woman tells a man she doesn't want to be involved in intimacy, she actually means YES. The myth is that a man should continue his aggression even if she says no. I know that almost every woman here will agree with me that No means No. Have you ever been violated in this way or date raped? Men...do you believe the myth? If you do...it's time to change your mind. NO means NO. If you are a teen here and don't have the experience I am talking about remember that when a girl tells you NO she means NO.
5 people like this
14 responses
@Zo0mZo0m (1359)
• United States
20 Mar 07
Taking no any other way but NO can cause the offender to wind up in jail for a very long time. NO means NO and that's it. If she says NO then STOP. It's over, it's finished, leave it alone.
@kbkbooks (7030)
• Canada
21 Mar 07
I hope men reading this will heed your word. I totally agree.
@obang1483 (250)
• Philippines
21 Mar 07
Of course NO means NO..... but if the girl says no on a flirty way, it may actually means yes. No matter what the word comes out on your mouth it just doesn't count.... you have to consider the feelings and approach of the speaker.
1 person likes this
@kbkbooks (7030)
• Canada
21 Mar 07
It's safer to say what you mean. It's also safer to assume that she means no if she says it. If she is teasing, most likely she will let you know she was teasing. In that case, she is also in the wrong. It's not fair to tease in this way.
• Philippines
22 Mar 07
yes, this is not the right situation to tease... but you know girls nowadays...there are even studies that proves woman nowadays liked to be raped...I don't know if it's true...but for my opinion it's just an absurd research.
1 person likes this
@kbkbooks (7030)
• Canada
22 Mar 07
Don't be ignorant. Those studies are made up by people who want those kind of results. Total B S
@Debs_place (10551)
• United States
23 Mar 07
You obviously know that it is a myth and not true, when a girl mean NO - that is it. I think society is past the days when a girl said No because it was appropriate, not what she wanted. Unless you want to see striped sunlight, accept it No means NO!
1 person likes this
@kbkbooks (7030)
• Canada
24 Mar 07
Striped sunlight. I just love that. LOL.
@lvap0628 (731)
• Philippines
21 Mar 07
I totally agree with you. No means No. For it to be taken as anything else would mean trouble for the guy who insists on hearing "Yes" instead of "No".
@kbkbooks (7030)
• Canada
21 Mar 07
Not listening is a big problem. It's very difficult for a woman to prove she said No. The problem is people tend to think she wants it just because she dates, and they think that is all there is to it. That is so untrue.
• Philippines
21 Mar 07
No means NO. I know that, everyone knows that. The people who thinks no means yes are out of their minds and needs psychological help.
1 person likes this
@kbkbooks (7030)
• Canada
21 Mar 07
Young boys and men often WANT to believe otherwise. They are indeed delusional.
• United States
21 Mar 07
I see your point and,understand it first hand. I would love to know how do the young girls who get felt on by boys and,laugh while they say stop or no is helping. Now this has not changed yet. I see it all the time the boy feel her butt. She is laughing while saying stop. How is this to get through to the man to really mean stop. Parents need to have real hard talks with there kids.
1 person likes this
@kbkbooks (7030)
• Canada
21 Mar 07
If a girl means no, she shouldn't be laughing and teasing. She needs to make him understand.
• United States
21 Mar 07
I think in some cases women like to play games.for the most part "NO" means "NO"!
@kbkbooks (7030)
• Canada
21 Mar 07
I don't think so many play games, maybe partly out of having respect for other women who will end up in similar situations.
@emisle (3824)
• Ireland
20 Mar 07
I've never been date raped, but I do think that when a girl says no you should back 100% away. And than if she's teasing she will let you know.
1 person likes this
@kbkbooks (7030)
• Canada
21 Mar 07
That's right. Thanks for your input.
@jewel76 (2306)
• Canada
20 Mar 07
I don't know where this myth came from,but it's real dumb. No means no. When someone thinks that a woman saying no means yes, then it's rape.
1 person likes this
@kbkbooks (7030)
• Canada
21 Mar 07
EXACTLY. Thanks.
@cassidy22 (2975)
• United States
20 Mar 07
Yes, I have been violated. And anyone who teaches young men that when women say NO they mean YES are setting a poor child up for a life of misery and dreadful mistakes. Men need to learn how to handle rejection. End of story. You don't always get what you want. Taking it by force makes you a CRIMINAL.
1 person likes this
@kbkbooks (7030)
• Canada
21 Mar 07
Thank you for sharing your experience and speaking out. That tells me you have progressed some in recovering. God bless you.
• India
20 Mar 07
hey how can a NO means YES.It may be true earier days when Girls were having lotr of limitations may be social or from their family and/or anything that they think will harm their character but nowadays they are fre and they dont believe in such things so they can easily say yes or no.So so remeber not to confuse girls no with yes
1 person likes this
@kbkbooks (7030)
• Canada
21 Mar 07
I think that girls now are coming around to that kind of restraint again. I know many young people, both male and female, who will not go too far because they respect each other and themselves.
1 person likes this
@Limey73 (161)
• Canada
20 Mar 07
I do know guys that actually believe that no means yes. Not me! Even after many years of marriage, I would never push my luck if I get a "no"........ There are cases where "no" might mean "maybe", but you need to read the body language which accompanies the negative, and to proceed with caution, like treading on eggs without breaking 'em. :-). Generally though, it's easy to tell if no means "hands off, buddy!" - in that case, Respect with a capital R is the order of the day.
@kbkbooks (7030)
• Canada
21 Mar 07
Thank you for sharing that there are a few intelligent guys out there. Please spread the info to your buddies.
1 person likes this
@horsesrule (1884)
• United States
20 Mar 07
I believe that no means NO. I just wish that whoever is out there telling guys that no means yes would stop it! Especially since its a load of BS. My ex-husband didn't always respect that no means no which is just one of the many reasons why he is my ex! This kind of thinking is just rather scary to me.
1 person likes this
@kbkbooks (7030)
• Canada
21 Mar 07
I knew a guy once who got a big rush out of forcing a girl who said no to change her mind. Makes me wonder how many times he was probably guilty of date rape.
• United States
21 Mar 07
Yes i do believe in the old myth that yes means no and no means yes!!
@kbkbooks (7030)
• Canada
21 Mar 07
I feel sorry for you. You will probably have a difficult time in some things in life later on.