Why don't they get it?

United States
March 19, 2007 10:28pm CST
So ok I know this is going to sound really petty and probably make some people made and I really am not intending on doing that. I have this issue where my parents don't understand my thoughts on a lot of the issues that arise with my youngest sister that I really don't think should happen. Like ok she skipped school and didn't even come home after school was out she wanted to see a friend so she skipped a whole day of school and no its like she's kinda in trouble but not really. My sister that is 3 years younger than me called me and was like so did you hear about the really expensive ring they bought for my youngest sister as a class ring...I told her that it wasnt my business what my parents do anymore and I've tried to voice my opinion about how it makes me feel that I did similar stuff that she's doing and didnt get anything of the sort. Anyone have any advice on how to make situations flow easier when it comes to what they allow her to do even though they didnt allow me those things because my actions didnt condone a "reward" of any type? Any advice would be helpful
4 responses
@EvanHunter (4030)
• United States
20 Mar 07
Its not that they care for your sister anymore than you or that they dont care what she is doing. More than likely this usually happens because we as parents tend to be alot harder on our first kids than the later. Everyone is mroe strict and more worried the first time around as being parents and tend to loosen up more when the 2nd or third child comes along. I know it makes you feel as though you werent treated the same and you are right but its only natural that things will change in your parents parenting skills as they get older. But if it makes you feel better than yes I would tell your parent that it does bother you how the two of you were treated differently, if after discussing this you dont feel any better than maybe you need to let it go and not build a wall between you and them.
• United States
21 Mar 07
Thanks for the advice....I'll take all that into consideration the next time I have this situation arise!
@c2adams2 (351)
• United States
20 Mar 07
Regardless of anything else your parents will raise her as they see fit. Different children are raised differently, and sometimes parents have more later in life than they had at any other time. If you have already voiced your opinion and your parents haven't changed their approach they are not going to. By continuing to bring it up you actually risk alienating them.
• United States
21 Mar 07
I know each child is different but when its affecting her school and things she's doing can get her into a lot more trouble where is the boundry that says ok dont worry you're parents can take care of it when she's skipped the entire day of school and no one knew where she was until like 6 or 7 that night? How do I decifer between minding my own business and protecting my family from one day not finding her until its too late?
@patgalca (13888)
• Orangeville, Ontario
20 Mar 07
I really don't think there is anything you can do. The eldest child always gets treated differently than the youngest. The eldest is paving the way for the children that follow behind them. You said your sister "called you up". Do you not live at home anymore? If that is the case, you are right - it is none of your business. I am the youngest of five children. We each were separated by four years, except for the first two. My brother and sister always said that I was spoiled. I have no idea why they said that. My parents didn't spoil me. I was just a good kid. My sister was a rebel and got in all sorts of trouble. My brother did some bad stuff too. I spent my Saturday nights at home watching the hockey game with my Dad. I wasn't spoiled, I just lived differently. You cannot go back and change the past. Just move on with your life and try not to make the same mistakes with your children that you believe your parents made with their's.
• United States
21 Mar 07
NO I dont live at home but I still feel its my business when the youngest of us girls is off skipping school and getting into trouble with people my parents have specifically told her not to hang out with....I mean Yes each of us are different but I think it is my business when no one can find her and then she just calls my mom up to come get her out of the blue.
• United States
20 Mar 07
have u tried sharing your feelings about this with your parents? if not then id start with that and see if that helps. over the past few years ive shared how my parents actions made me feel ect with my mom and she is now able to see her shortcomings while she was parenting me and my brother. so with some hope maybe your parents will 'get it' as well.