Should infertility be a basis of divorce?

@12051976 (231)
Ghana
March 20, 2007 2:22pm CST
Something is bordering me so much that i need a solution from the wonderful people in Mylot community. My step-mother loves me so much and i also love her. But my father is not happy with her nowadays because after 11yrs in marriage she has given birth. He is now threatening divorce base on several medical check up which proves that the fault is from my dear stepmother. i don't want to loose her, she is a real Mum. Should this be a basis of divorce from my father? I can see my stepmother love my father so much. tell me something to tell my father please!!
5 people like this
9 responses
• United States
21 Mar 07
Really, this is a problem between your Father and Step-Mother. If your Father desperately wants more children, then this possibly could be cause for divorce. My husband knew that I wanted children going into our marriage, but he had a procedure done so that he could not Father any more children. Prior to our wedding, he promised to have the surgery reversed, which he has not and has given me every excuse possible. I feel as if I was sold a bad sale of goods. Your Father needs to decide if he loves this woman with his whole heart or not. It appears that after 11 years of marriage that he is looking for an easy out. With adoptions and foster parenting, your Father has many options that he can chose beside divorce. Let your parents work out what is best for them. If you must give advise, maybe point out all of the positives that your step-mother has done to enrich both of your lives.
@12051976 (231)
• Ghana
22 Mar 07
very well noted, thank you.
@vivasuzi (4125)
• United States
21 Mar 07
No I do not think that is a good reason for divorce. It's not her fault if she can't have kids, why should she be punished for that? If he really loved her, he would get over it. Why can't they adopt if they want more kids?
2 people like this
@12051976 (231)
• Ghana
22 Mar 07
i will talk to my father about it and see what next, thank you very much.
1 person likes this
@Naomi17 (624)
20 Mar 07
If he truly loved her another child wouldn't be an issue he has you and your step mothers love he is rich in that respect . I would tell him how you feel in your heart say you cannot bear to lose this mum and support her as best you can.
@12051976 (231)
• Ghana
22 Mar 07
thank you i will do my best
@mslena75 (562)
• United States
20 Mar 07
I do not think that infertility should be the basis for divorce. I know lots of great people, who through no fault of their own cannot have children. There is always adoption, an egg donor, a surrogate...there are options. Sounds to me like he using that as an excuse. I bet there is a bigger underlying issue.
2 people like this
@12051976 (231)
• Ghana
22 Mar 07
thank you dear i will do that research
@Anakata2007 (1789)
• Canada
24 Mar 07
This is so sad, because I am in the same boat as your stepmother. You can't change your dad and what he wants to do. You can only tell him that he promised to love your step mom in sickness and in health and that there is no guarantee that he will be able to find another woman to have children with either. I feel so sorry for your stepmother, it's not her fault! I think that if your dad does divorce her, you can still have a relationship with her. She will always be special to you and will always be your step mom.
@12051976 (231)
• Ghana
26 Mar 07
thank you very my much my dear you make my share tears. be my friend.
1 person likes this
• United States
24 Mar 07
Why is your father angry with her for giving birth? I don't understand that. He does not want no more kids or what? That is terrible that he does not want a child. He should love her no matter what and especially if she has his child. Some women like to have there own children too. I hope your father comes to understand things better and want to stay with her. Some men can be so stubborn on what there belief is. Hope all goes well.
• United States
24 Mar 07
sorry misread or misunderstood what you said. I don't think he should divorce her because she can't have kids that is so wrong. Your wording mislead me.
@12051976 (231)
• Ghana
26 Mar 07
thank you your correction is well noted.
@slickcut (8141)
• United States
28 Mar 07
I am so sorry for what you are going through.It is a rare thing to find a step mother that loves you and you love her...I think this is beautiful.I think your Father is being very selfish.I doubt that he could ever find another woman to love as good as your step mother..Don't he think of you and how she loves you and how much she loves him? This is not grounds for a divorce,not at all,your father is wrong,if he leaves your stepmom because she cannot have children that is just awful.She cannot help it,it is not her fault.He will be making a big mistake if he goes through a divorce.Your father and mom could adopt a child,there are many children out there that needs a good home.Tell your father that if he leaves your stepmom because she cannot have a child that he will be sinning,because that is NOT GROUNDS for a divorce in the eyes of God..I surely do hope that your fathers eyes opens up before he does anything like this...I will be thinking and hoping for you the very Best...
• United States
28 Mar 07
no never infertility be a bais of divorce.Nothing in our hands.Couple should understand each other that kind of situation.frustration will be there but has to over come that.if you couldn't handle that take some help.
@ashjoe76 (1434)
• India
26 Mar 07
The unfortunate fact is that one can file a case for divorce on the basis of infertility. Especially since it is arguable that the very reason one gets married can be to raise a child and when that does not happen, the relationship can be strained, though that sounds so cruelly insensible. The only way you can stop your father from divorcing your stepmother would be to convince him somehow of the reason to stay with her, the main among that being the fact that it means so much to be in a loving relationship.