So what's your theory on why so many people hate gays?

@Pigglies (9339)
United States
March 22, 2007 12:21am CST
This topic is only meant to be semi-serious, so out-there theories are okay and there is no wrong answer. I think that people are afraid that associating with gays may somehow buy them a one way ticket to hell. What's your take?
5 people like this
14 responses
• United States
22 Mar 07
To be serious, I believe they're afraid because they're different. People don't like when people are different. It makes them uncomfortable. It doesn't help that the church fills their heads with lies about how it's wrong and how their dirty people..in a sense. More hate breeds more hate.
4 people like this
@Pigglies (9339)
• United States
22 Mar 07
Yes, unfortunately people seem to be afraid of anyone different from themselves. Some differences seem to stand out more than others, depending on the times and like you said, religious teachings.
3 people like this
@rainbow (6763)
22 Mar 07
I think it's fear, what if they come on to us, what do we do? What do they do? So thats fear and misunderstanding = hate. This is silly, no-one can help how they are made, I have never had a problem with a gay person. my ex-partners big sister was bi and she made a better looking man than a lot. If she had been a lad I might have fancied her a bit, lol. There is a standing joke on family holidays that I go to the loo and come back holding hands with a girl - usually another mum and it often happens, you get someone to dance with, play with all the kids together and a new friend for a week. I don't know why this happens, and I never start it they just want to be my friend, there's no harm in it, I don't think it's like a gay thing.
3 people like this
@Pigglies (9339)
• United States
24 Mar 07
I thought that was just a woman thing, hehe. Going to the bathroom in groups or coming out together. Although, maybe it's not. I can't really say that's something I do. Unless I'm not sure where it is and need directions there.
2 people like this
@rainbow (6763)
25 Mar 07
Bless you, I suppose it's not nice to pick someone up in the loo, although it's different for me, I wouldnt go in the mens toilet and do that, lol.
@cyntrow (8524)
• United States
23 Mar 07
I think that most people who hate gay people do so out of ignorance. Even among people who claim to not hate gay people, I hear, "They are nice and funny." "They do my hair great." "They are like having a girlfriend." People need to see and understand that the stereotypes are not indicative of the entire homosexual community. Gay people are vast and varient. I think for some, religious ignorance, also plays a part. But I just feel that if more people took the time to get to know gay people for who they are instead of what they do, it would cut down on much of the bigotry and hate.
@Pigglies (9339)
• United States
24 Mar 07
That does seem to be the case a lot. People go by stereotypes. I've been asked to fix stuff before, and people are like, "We knew you could fix, because you're a lesbian." And I'm like, "Well, I can fix it because I've been fixing stuff since I was a kid... not sure what being a lesbian has to do with that."
1 person likes this
@cyntrow (8524)
• United States
24 Mar 07
My mildly effeminate brother once had a woman ask if he could do her hair. He told her, "No, but I could fix your car for you."
• United States
25 Mar 07
I am a straight woman who likes to fix things. Sometimes when I am in Lowe's drooling over the hand tools or picking up a load of pressure treated wood, I feel like I should flirt with all the guys I see just to make a point. (Straight) women can build things.
@freak369 (4989)
• United States
26 Mar 07
Wow, interesting topic. I was bi at one point in time, I guess I still am to some degree but too busy for a standard relationship let alone that type of fun. When people would find out about that or someone would mention it to them, some of their reactions were comicla, harsh, brutal and a few refused to talk to me. Chicks would say, "You now, she touched my shoulder, I wonder if she was hitting on me". Please ... if I was hitting on you, you would know it. The root of it is ignorance and how people are raised. Being gay goes against so many different religions and like it or not, that is where most people get their morals ... even though those are the same people that cheat on their wives, lie, go against most of the other laws that their religion has in place. I don't walk around with a bible under my arm but I like to toss around some of their sayings when they drag out their soap boxes. Let those without sin cast their first stone. Judge not, lets ye be judged.
2 people like this
@freak369 (4989)
• United States
26 Mar 07
Judge not, lets ye be judged. Would have helped if I would have gotten that right ... Judge not, LEST ye be judged.
@Pigglies (9339)
• United States
27 Mar 07
I kind of agree with Kinsey's research that pretty much, everyone is bi to some degree. If I'm bi though, it's only to a very slight degree and not enough to act on for sure. I don't get that either how people think you're hitting on them when you aren't. I've had a couple people think I was hitting on them just when I gave a standard compliment. Good point about how people were raised.
@silverlou (372)
22 Mar 07
I feel it is ignorance which causes this hatred, although I have never witnessed hatred regarding somebodies sexuality, but I have heard stories. People assume it is all about physical acts, and they do not see the love, the intimacy, the relationship, the same as a hetro one, for some reason, all they see is the difference, not the similarities.
2 people like this
@wenkinnoc (483)
25 Mar 07
the same reason why psome people are racist, sexist, secterian, or whatever "ism". Because they base their knowledge (which ironically is actually non-existent and based on inaccurate stereotypes. it also provides bullies with an easy target to pick on, and make fun of, as well as strutting their own "superiority".
1 person likes this
@Pigglies (9339)
• United States
25 Mar 07
Excellent point! I guess all people want someone to feel superior too. If they deny another group rights, they can feel superior.
1 person likes this
• Australia
25 Mar 07
It has nothing to do with feeling superior. It is actually recognise that many gay men hold some very high position and earn a lot of money. But you did ask a simple question... and told us that there were no wrong answer. Only now... you don't seem to like my answer.
@cyntrow (8524)
• United States
26 Mar 07
Aussies, you're buying into some pretty heavy stereotypes. Gay men are no wealthier than straight men. Gay men are not handed anything. In fact until very recently, gay men were fired for being gay or not hired at all. My uncle kept his relationship hidden for 20 years for just this reason.
@Denmarkguy (1845)
• United States
31 Mar 07
Since you've used the word "semi-serious" I'll place tongue firmly in cheek and ask "Do you not KNOW that it's contagious??? What's WRONG with you???" Allright, kidding aside... From my little vantage point as an "observer of the human condition" I often get to the point of wondering IF "the issue" is really about "gay" and "not-gay." I'm more inclined to think it's about "the fear of anything DIFFERENT" and the attendant ignorance that usually drives that fear. People deal with fear of differences by trying to place the not-understood in "neat little boxes." Then we give them names like "gay" and "insane" and "troubled." Essentially, the root lies in psychological and spiritual laziness.... we take the "easy way out" (assumptions) rather tham taking the time to LEARN the truth. I often get taken to task for this, but I believe that ignorance is a CHOICE, not a "circumstance." Whenever we encounter something confusing and different, we ALWAYS have the CHOICE of learning about it. My very dearest friend in college was a lesbian woman; the eye-opening part of our relationship came largely in removing all the "boxes," most of which were based on some form ignorance (aka, substituting a "stereotype" for "direct experience"). Interestingly enough, she was carrying around more boxes than I was... our single best moment came when we realized that we truly LOVED each other; not in the "romantic" sense (of course, because we're talking about a lesbian woman and a straight man, duh!), but as HUMANS. My point being, people hate gays (or feminists, or African-Americans, or "flakes," or "gifted" people) because they haven't taken the time to "open the boxes" and find the HUMANS below.
@Pigglies (9339)
• United States
31 Mar 07
Very well said! And thanks for finally taking on the semi-serious part too. :) Now I'm off to sneeze on some hot chicks in hopes of going back in a week to find that they're lesbians... lol!
1 person likes this
• United States
31 Mar 07
Good luck with the sneezing thing. If I knew the incubation period for how long it takes to work, I'd let you know... but I flunked out of chemistry class. But I hope you catch yourself a hottie....! :-D Thanks for the "best response" vote!
• United States
1 Apr 07
It is the classic, if it is different it must be wrong or evil. If you can't understand it, condemn it.It is so sad.
1 person likes this
@Ravenladyj (22937)
• United States
22 Mar 07
I think its a combo of things really...partly, actually mainly IMO, because they are uneducated and/or misinformed either in part or overall....i also think that it is (as its been mentioned) a fear of something different or new/unfamiliar etc etc....And finally its the fear of what their neighbours, co-workers, friends and family members might say particularly if they are religious ppl...its like a whole "keeping up with the Joneses" mentality in those circles ya know.....
1 person likes this
• United States
26 Mar 07
I liked what Jerry Seinfeld said about why straight men don't like gay men. He said he knows he has a very low sales resistance, and is afraid of getting talked into trying it. One place I was working, some people were complaining that one of the assistant managers was gay. "Isn't that awful?" a woman said to me. My reply was "Why would I care? He's management- I can't date him anyway." I really don't know why so many people still have a feeling of distaste for what gay people do together. Is it worse to contemplate than some of the straight couples you know? How about Ernest Borgnine and Ethel Merman..sorry, for everyone under thirty who doesn't know who I am talking about. But I'm sure you can think of your own example.
@cyntrow (8524)
• United States
26 Mar 07
LOL, I love that: "Why would I care? He's management- I can't date him anyway." Ernest borgnine and Ethel Merman is thoroughly grotesque. I tend to think about my grandparents with the same "Ewwww" factor. I like your response. I think that the problem is that straight, guys especially, can't get what gay people do in the bedroom out of thier minds. They like the thought of lesbians. they are sickened by the thought of gay men. But gay people are more than what they do in bed. Makes you wonder exactly who's mind is in the gutter.
2 people like this
• United States
28 Mar 07
Well, thank you- I didn't want to be the one to bring up your grandparents, but there is a definite eeew factor. And all those sweet old church ladies!
@Pigglies (9339)
• United States
28 Mar 07
For a more recent example... Anna Nicole Smith and that old guy. Blech!
• Philippines
20 Apr 07
Most people don't like gays...maybe because they were raised in a society with that kind of culture, where gays are frowned upon. I would think that the major factor that would contribute to this kind of culture would be religion. p.s. No offense against religion, i have nothing against it.
@Pigglies (9339)
• United States
20 Apr 07
Religion does seem to be the main cause of ignorance for a lot of things. In the past, religion even justified owning slaves.
@Makoy1983 (1085)
• Philippines
14 Apr 07
normally, men is not inclined to other men. men are inclined to women. gays are men, so normally thats why men hate gays. its not something normal
@Pigglies (9339)
• United States
14 Apr 07
For a gay man though, being straight wouldn't be normal.
@CLUBSUGAS (257)
• United States
19 Apr 07
well when you hear the case that 9 out of 10 str8 men who oppose or say they hate gay men in general have either (one) tendencies to act on a homosexual act or (two) have had an abusive encounter with a dominant male figure in their own past either it be a father or some other authority in their life Scary eh?
@borzack (597)
• Malaysia
31 Mar 07
Probably because they have a narrow minded, misinformed, and cannot accept different opinion. Although sometimes i disagree with some people's opinion or activities, i do respect it. cheers