wedding, a solution for unwanted pregnancies?

Philippines
March 22, 2007 5:36am CST
well, right now i have two friends who got pregnant accidentally. thay are thinking of getting married even if they are not ready in building a family. Do you think that wedding is really the solution for this? i also have one friend who got pregnant last year, and the guy who is responsible happened to be her boyfriend as well, they got married even before my friend was able to deliver her baby. Im glad that they are living a happy life now, thinking that my friend still goes to college.=)
8 people like this
55 responses
• Philippines
22 Mar 07
Marriage is not the answer for getting pregnant. A lot of young men and women do this thinking that by getting married their problems will go away. It's like giving a wrong solution to the wrong problem. There is no use in marrying when you're not ready at all physically, mentally, emotionally and financially. That marriage will crumble eventually. The best thing to do is just take care of the child and try to do as much as possible to finish your education...set yourself stable and eventually when the time comes you're ready....then go marry. Never make harsh decisions about marriage...it's a sacrament that should be respected.
22 Mar 07
I don't think marriage should take place because one has got pregnant.The whole idea of marriage should be based on trust.If not then how do you think anyone will be happy even though it is the child's father she has married?I think that one should be careful and take precautons if one does not want to get married sooner.IMHO,marriage is also an insitutio which requires the same constant caring and trust in order to build i.I think it would be good if the partners can concentrate on their relationship first,build it up well and then go on to have a child.Ofcourse,if the couple are happy having a child so young and still having to go to college,I don't disapprove.The main thing is happiness.
• Philippines
22 Mar 07
i agree with you. its always important to build a strong relationship between couple before starting a family.=)
1 person likes this
@joy1982 (226)
• Philippines
23 Mar 07
young today when they got pregnant they want to get married and thats mostly happened..and then after that separated because they are not comfortable. marriage is not the solution for unwanted pregnancies..entering into married life should be prepared by the each couples, life of being married is not that simple and you should be ready and pepared emotionally, spiritually and phsysically.. it doesnt mean that your pregnant and you should get married no.. you can deliver your child eventhough your not married.. and see to it that you really want that guy to be your partner forever.
1 person likes this
• India
23 Mar 07
well wedding is not the only sole answer to unwanted pregnancies.There are other ways as well.Some are fruitful and some are not.Relationship should be based solely on trust.If there is no other way around and the person does not want to get a baby until she is married then she should marry but taking his husband into trust.That will be good. Well your friend did the right thing and his boy friend was indeed very good to marry her because marriage in such circumstances is difficult.People also think abortion as the answer but i think of it as a killing.so it is never a solution.please do not advice anyone to do this.
1 person likes this
@mykykko (424)
• Philippines
23 Mar 07
NO!my sister got pregnant 2 years ago and our relatives are insisting for marriage.older people are always like that,dignity is more important to them.but i think the most important thing is "will the relationship work" once they get married?i talked to my sister and asked her if she wants to get married at that time and is she ready to face all the consequences of being a mom and wife.all of us in the family known my sister being a rebel,hardheaded person and even her boyfriend knows that.my sister refuse to marry the guy and instead they try "live-in".so that they will know each other well.but after how many months the guy leave her and their baby.i don't know why but she said the guy is very irresponsible and she can't take it.so in my own opinion wedding is a big NO...just like my experience my partner and i live-in together w/o marriage for over 2 yrs before we have decided to get married.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
22 Mar 07
Marriage is not the BEST solution for unwanted pregnancies. But in some cases, it does work. Marriage totally depends on both parties. If both the man and woman would like to marry each other even if the woman is carrying an unwanted baby, then their married life may be successful. But in MOST cases, especially if both of them are still at a young age, like their still at their teens or early 20s, marriage is really not the best solution because first and foremost, marriage entails a lifetime commitment. And i don't think these people are already matured enough to build a family. Tendencies would be unfaithfulness and unsuccessful married life. :)
@Mamaof4 (222)
• Philippines
22 Mar 07
If the reason for two people getting married is because they got pregnant, then that is such a wrong basis for the marriage. people should get married because they care for and love one another, NOT because there is a baby to be had and the concerned parties (usually along with their parents) must save face. Getting married for this reason is the reason why there are so many separated families now, so many instances of divorce. Sorry to be so vehement, but I feel strongly about this. It hasn't happened to me, but I've seen it happen to the nicest people...and it's not very pretty.
@nasaxo (41)
• Taiwan
22 Mar 07
The marriage and family load bearing many people had vainly hoped for, also has taken to many person of injuries and the burden. Every time to the husbands and wives, each family has their different story,the different laughter, anger,sorrow and happiness.The family is in the society most is basic,also is basic...we knew certainly is not allfeminine marriaged all is painfull,but occupies unfortunate or in the painful woman,actually is most needs to care about and the aid
1 person likes this
@txwoman36 (173)
• United States
22 Mar 07
the way i see it you shouldnt get married just because your pregnant. if the 2 people truely love eachother then yes they need to get married if thats what they need to do if they want that. just getting married because of having a baby can end up in divorce and in the long run now good for the child. i have a friend that got a woman pregnant and hes not marrying the woman but will be there for her and the child.
1 person likes this
@jewel76 (2305)
• Canada
22 Mar 07
It's not the solution, that's for sure, but it depends though. If your friends have gotten pregnant by their long time boyfriend and not a one night stand or casual fling, they should at least try living with the father of their child, to provide their baby with a family. They don't have to be married to do that.
1 person likes this
@scrawl (374)
• India
22 Mar 07
Sensitive issue... the more we progress... these things become questionable... nonetheless some commitment would be a good thing...
1 person likes this
• United States
22 Mar 07
I do not think that people should get married just because they got pregnant. I do believe that people should not get pregnant before they get married but I know that it happens. I think that they should be focusing on the child and not on if they should get married. What is getting married going to change. If you are in love and planning on getting married than go ahead and do it. My cousin is in this same situation.
• Philippines
22 Mar 07
Pregnancy shouldn't be the only reason for getting married. One should consider that marriage is a lifetime commitment so both parties should be prepared for it. It's a major decision which may ruin your life or make you the happiest person on earth.
1 person likes this
@gegegelay (934)
• Philippines
22 Mar 07
I don't think marriage is really the answer, but since the guy has a responsibility to the girl and to the baby that she has conceived, the couple should probably start thinking of getting married and stand firm on the decision they have made. They started it, and so they should be brave enough to face their consequences. It would be unfair for the girl if the guy will not ask her hand in marriage because it's like they just did it on a one night stand. I think they should think of planning about their future and how they will raise their baby. Atleast they'll be able to work it out somehow and hopefull they'll end up happy also.
• Philippines
31 May 07
I don't think marriage would be the best solution for unwanted pregnancies,which by the way is very rampant nowadays. I do believe in the concept of "live in" because I certainly believe that you would only get to know the true personality of a person once you live with him under the same roof.So if one would choose to marry just because of the baby,a lot of risks has to be taken,and a lot actually ends up filing for an annulment. They could still support the baby and the pregnancy without getting married,coz a person should really know his/her partner before getting married so as to avoid broken families.
@mquidem (42)
• Philippines
23 Mar 07
i don't think that just because you got pregnant you should get into marriage. they should be ready for all the responsibilities of having a family. if they are not decided to build a family then don't get into marriage. i got married when i was 27 years, not because i was pregnant but because i thought i was ready but still sometimes i would think and say i shouldn't have got married that early. i realize that there are still things that i wanted to do and had prevented me to do so just because i'm married. i have no regrets but if i had knew then what i know now i would have delayed the marriage.
@NatureBoy (493)
• Singapore
23 Mar 07
Getting married only solves the social issue, you know, like being responsible and sorts. But seriously, the only way out is for the couple to take on life. Start earning their own keep and planning for the future. Having kids are a life time commitment and without proper planning, things are not going to be a beautiful picture.
• Australia
23 Mar 07
I don' think you should get marred just because you got pregnant. My parents did that, and it was a poor descision for them. Marriages that are not based on love tend to crumble early on, resulting in pain forboth partners and the child as well. That's what happened wih my family.
@deepti15 (1190)
• India
23 Mar 07
yes i do think wedding an be the soultion if the two people involved are mature enough to take that responsibility. In any case a single parent life is much more tougher than two of them handling the kid and sharing the tough time together. Also, the kid would get a better life, if both parents are their and he has a right to be their legitimate child, otherwise why did they bring him to this world.
• Philippines
23 Mar 07
i think no.. if ur not ready for dat, dont do. i hav a friend and she has a baby right now, she is not yet married to the father of her child but they lived tgether in one house. i think they're happy even if their not yet married,but i suggest to dem to get married.. marriage is the holy sacrament that should do by every partners to build a family..