If you could start over...

United States
March 23, 2007 6:35pm CST
If you could start from scratch, is there anything, anything at all, about your life that you would change/alter? I struggle with this question on ocassion. On the one hand, there are choices I have made that I wish I hadn't. On the other hand, every experience I've had, every decision I've ever made, has made me what I am. To regret any part of my past would be to regret the person I've turned out to be. If it wasn't for a bad marriage, I wouldn't have two beautiful little girls, for instance. So, would I change anything? I don't know. Would you change anything? If you did, how do you think that would impact your life? If you changed something negative, would it result in a positive effect? OR, would there still be the possiblity that something negative would come from that change?
5 people like this
10 responses
@graham31 (487)
23 Mar 07
Intersesting,i would like to say i'd change the fact i went out and was engaged to a girl for 10 years.We both were young she was younger than me.We never new anything else but the two of us.I'm not with her know and yes sometimes i feel it was a waste of 10 years all that effort and commitment and nothing to show for it.But then i think if i hadn't been with this girl for so long then fell out would i have met this gorgous girl who i'm so over the moon and proud of and love being with and now i call her my wife.Who nows were my life would have been. So yes at times i would like to change things but then i think things happen for a reason only in the future do we discover what that reason is
• United States
24 Mar 07
Thank you for contributing your thoughts. I can understand how you may want to "turn back the hands of time." It's true though, you may never had met the love of your life now. Good luck with your marriage! :)
1 person likes this
@xParanoiax (6998)
• United States
27 Mar 07
No..I wouldn't change anything. Because ultimately everything I regret..all the bad things which happened -- of course I wish they never happened at all..but I wouldn't change it if I could, because it's made me who and what I am now..every little thing..whether I've noticed how or not. All in all..the people I care about like me how I am. Maybe by changing one of those events I would never have met my best friends..or maybe I'd be worst off. It's impossible for me to know, and I am for the most part content with how life is currently. If it's not broke, don't fix it, you know? Lol. Life and how it works for everyone's too intricate to mess with, and every thing that happens has affects. MILLIONS of them. Not only on us but everyone and everything around us. Since we're just human we can't see how this all works..so I think trying to change things would be folly. Yes, there;s a possibility it could turn out even better, but there's also possibility of making it worse..which isn't worth it.
1 person likes this
• United States
30 Mar 07
Great attitude. I forget where I heard this quote (but I'm about to shamelessly steal it anyway, lol). I cannot regret the things in my past because to regret anything at all would be to regret who I am, and I cannot regret who I am.
1 person likes this
• United States
1 Apr 07
lol that's a good quote..I'll have to steal it (lol) and write it down with the rest of the quotes I like ^_^ *in fact does so*
• United States
24 Mar 07
I guess I would change many things. After all no one wants live with their mistakes back packed. But the question is how ?????
1 person likes this
@DeenaD (2688)
• United States
24 Mar 07
nationalcity, unless you can make time flow backwards, there is nothing you can do about mistakes you have made in the past. You can only learn from past mistakes to make better choices in the present and thus to have a positive impact on your future.
1 person likes this
• United States
26 Mar 07
Well, you may not be able to change your past, but you can work on creating a better future for yourself, taking what you can learn from your mistakes.
@Fargale (760)
• Brazil
29 Mar 07
While I've made as much regrettable choices as the next person, and isolately I wish I could go back and change some of them, in the end that would mean I'd end up with a different life than I have nowadays. But I'm very happy with my life; of course it could be better, but I wouldn't want to risk the happiness I have today for something that I couldn't predict whether would be better or worse.
1 person likes this
• United States
30 Mar 07
That's true. It would be near impossible to predict whether any change would result in something better or something worse.
@DeenaD (2688)
• United States
24 Mar 07
This is an easy one for me to answer. I would change my choice of college major, and hence my career. I absolutely hate what I do for a living, and I wish I had gone into nursing instead. But it's too late and too expensive now for me to go back to school, so I'm stuck with my current career for the long haul.
• United States
26 Mar 07
I would say that you can always change your career if you wish. I mean, I understand the expense and time presents a problem. You could do it little by little, however. And, after all, it's worth taking the time to be happy. Thank you for sharing what you would want to change. :)
• United States
24 Mar 07
I'm not concerned with trying to change the past or "starting over" I focus on making things better for my future.
1 person likes this
• United States
26 Mar 07
And that is a wonderful attitude to possess.
@ZenDove (698)
• United States
24 Mar 07
I agree with you that we are the sum total of all our experiences. Perhaps, if we change one event, one decision it changes the whole house of cards. With that in mind, I wouldn't change the bad marriage that left me with three amazing children. I think the only things I would change would be the last moments I spent with my grandparents and my mother. Hope wouldn't let me admit that those were the last seconds of their conscious awareness of me. There is so much more that I would say. Oh, god, how I would thank my grandfather for the strength and standards he set in my life. And my nana, although I'm sure she knew how much her leaving us meant, I would praise her and tease her about how much love she gave to family, friends, strangers, stray dogs, hamsters and most of all, to me. My mom, I think I would need the last year of her life to do over. There was nothing, not even my own eyes, that could convince me that she would leave me so soon. I want that time back. She was my best friend and she knew that but I would want more chances to show her how strong her love helped me to become. She was afraid to leave me alone with the heartbreak of seeing her go. Yes, even now, the heartbreak is keen but I would want her to know that she gave me the strength to endure and to love her more every day. I think that if I had those moments back and lived them as though they were our last, my heart would be lighter today. I guess that's what they mean by Carpe Diem - Seize the day. You never know.
• United States
26 Mar 07
Thanks for sharing your experiences. I'm sorry that your time with your mother was so brief. I'm glad, however, that you had such a loving and wonderful woman for a mother.
@easy888 (10405)
• Australia
24 Mar 07
If I can start from scratch, I hope I do not want to know my first boyfriend, I was cheated by him, and i did not listen to my family and friends and got along with him, of course, I ended up with disappointment and sadness. I do not know how my life would be if I did not meet him,may be I will meet a good guys ,or may be even worse... But at least I get some experience and I will be more careful when getting into relationship.
• United States
24 Mar 07
I'm sorry that happened to you. But, yes ~ you do have more experience now. Even negative experiences can be beautiful. The pain helps us to truly appreciate the good things we have in life.
@kamran12 (5555)
• Pakistan
19 Aug 07
Hello pangeacat! Everything that I think, I may like to change, turns out to be positive, in a way, when I think deeper. If I could change, I would go back in time and would like to meet my partner much earlier than I actually met her. I met many girls before I found my wife, that too with a far fetched link. She is friend of friend of the wife of my friend. Though I had met and seen many girls before, I didn't even saw my wife as such before marriage. When my friend's wife told me about her, I was ready for the marriage, already. This, one of the most random and unorganized, craziest decision of my life turned out to be the best one. She has filled my life with happiness and bliss, has given me a promised son, has filled my gaps and has completed me in many ways. I would like to have met this great lady before I saw anyone else. But then, how could I admire her personality the way I do now as without seeing too many other girls, I might not have been able to give my partner her due appreciation, regard and respect. I could have thought that all girls are like her and that she is not very special. Then, there is also a possibility rather probability that I couldn't have met her at all, as when I met her, she had just broken her earlier engagement, after she was already engaged for almost 8 years, because of some spiritual reasons. She would definitely have rejected me without a second thought being still engaged. So, I think I met her at the right time:-) Similarly, there are many things that I may like to change but the more I think, the more I am convinced that NO, that would slice away some other interesting things from my life and even some things that I value very much in my life. Finally, There is nothing that I would like to change:-)
• United States
20 May 07
I would not have married my first hubby. I wanted to walk out before the ceremony and my father wouldn't let me. I wish I had just walked out. I was pregnant at the time so I would still have my great daughter!