Limited discussions

@GardenGerty (98250)
United States
March 25, 2007 9:54am CST
I stumbled on a discussion/rant where in the poster is angry that his friends do not reply. Then he told people who responded basically to stay out of his business. I refuse to respond to that discussion as it is getting very nasty. I am very thankful for all on my friends list, and if you respond, that is great, if not, I understand. I think you guys are about the same. I am letting you know, I appreciate you, even if some weeks I am to tired/busy to respond. Would you delete a friend for lack of response? Are you terribly hurt if your friends do not respond?
19 people like this
39 responses
• United States
25 Mar 07
If I have only been "trying out" a new friend I give them a few weeks and if they don't respond then I delete them. My "old" friends I would get worried if I did not get any response from them in a week or so then I would PM them. I never get hurt as we all have a life outside of myLot and (to me) it is not possible to be on myLot all the time.
3 people like this
@GardenGerty (98250)
• United States
25 Mar 07
That discussion I mentioned left such a bitter impression, I am glad to see people responding here, friends or not, who have a reasonable and positive outlook. I look for that on myLot, that is part of what keeps me coming back. Thanks for your responses.
2 people like this
@stacyv81 (5904)
• United States
25 Mar 07
Well, I know a lot of my friends do not respond to a lot of my discussions and I am grateful to the ones who do. I want my experience here to be fun, and entertaining as well as make me money, and I want to help my friends as much as possible, but I know that you cant answer all of your friends discussions all the time. But It is nice everyonce in a while.
3 people like this
@GardenGerty (98250)
• United States
31 Mar 07
You express very well how I feel about my MyLot experience.
25 Mar 07
I also stumbled upon that particular rant and ran away quickly. I cannot see the point in getting upset if people on your friends list do or don't respond to your topics, after all we cannot be here 24/7 and there is such a thing as real life.
3 people like this
@sweetlady10 (3619)
• United States
25 Mar 07
There is no doubt that we all like to get responses, be it from friends or other members. But that does not mean that we should get upset or angry if our friend does not reply to our discussion. For nobody it's possible to reply their each and every friend and their discussion. It really takes time to get to every friend and their discussions. And also you can't respond to all of their discusssion as all discussion may not catch our interest. It is a very clear thing that we all have more than 100 friends and no one can respond to that much people daily. So we all should give time to our friends. I did not read that discussion what you are talking about, but it seems that that was really a nasty dsicussion. That should not be imagae of our Mylot members. And I believe most of our friends and members dont feel taht way. Personaly I only delete those friends from my list who is not active for very long time and who starts poor quality discussions, where I don't want to reply. As I will not reply to their poor discussion thereis no meaning of keeping them in my lists. Otherwise they will one day talk to me in abusive manner like that particular member post his discussion.
3 people like this
@arvee17 (730)
• Philippines
25 Mar 07
i simply don't care... if my friends don't respond to my discussions now they would probably respond to my discussions later...
3 people like this
• United States
25 Mar 07
I am with Stacy. Not all my friends respond, but it doesn't bother me. Sometimes they just can't because they have no answer. I am also grateful for the ones who can. I don't expect them to answer all my discussions if they can't give a quality response. And, I hope that they don't expect me to answer theirs for the same reason.
@mjsdls (1841)
• United States
25 Mar 07
No I have alot of friends on my list but I do not get upset when they do not respond. I couldn't because I do not respond to very many of my friends posts. I have very limited time on here very day and I just picked out the quickest one that I know I can resoond to. Most post I read I don't know how to respond to.
@GardenGerty (98250)
• United States
26 Mar 07
I am the same way, sometimes. Thanks for replying here.
• Ireland
26 Mar 07
WE shouldn't expect all our friends to respond to our discussions. Some topics may not suit some of them so they are entitled to give them a miss. This doesn't mean that these friends should be deleted or criticised. I have been away for a couple of days and I am now trying to catch up on responses. To be fair to my friends, I will try to respond to at least one of their topics but only if I can do so without sitting her for then minutes trying to rack my brains for the correct response. It is getting late now, and I still have over 150 notifications to respond to, so I will be lucky if I can respond to about 20 of these, the remainder will just be deleted as there will be another lot in my email box to-morrow and I just cannot keep up with them.
2 people like this
@hoz9991 (306)
26 Mar 07
I'm not terribly bothered if friends do not respond to my discussions. Sometimes its just that they may not find the topic interesting. I know I have done that with some of my friends. I enjoy it when people who aren't my friends comment on my discussions because it shows that people are physically searching for what I've written. This is a more natural way of acquiring responses because there is no biased opinion
@Anniedup (3652)
• Richards Bay, South Africa
26 Mar 07
No I feel the same about it as you. What some people don't or won't understand is that some of our friends have a life outside MyLot and others, limited time. For instance I get replies as late as 1 week but I understand, and then sometimes I really have nothing constructive to say, so I don't respond. It is as simple as that.
2 people like this
@JoyfulOne (6242)
• United States
25 Mar 07
I know what you mean...I've run across quite a few different discussions where people are ranting because their friends didn't reply to their discussion. What's with that?! Like you, I'm thankful for all of those on my friends list, and I would never get upset if somebody from my list didn't respond to my discussion. Gee, sometimes they merely get lost in the shuffle (because there's sooooo many different discussions), and sometimes a discussion is not your 'cup of tea' and you don't feel like participating in that one. I wouldn't be hurt or offended if somebody bypassed my discussion, and I sure wouldn't get angry about it. I don't understand when somebody has that kind of an attitude, it's not right, and it's not very friendly at all.Thanks for bringing this into the light for others to see, maybe when some see that they're actually being counter-productive they'll stop complaining and be happy for those that DO respond to their discussions.
@MsTickle (24962)
• Australia
26 Mar 07
I would never delete someone for not responding to my posts. Nor am I hurt. I've not been able to come up with anything very much lately anyway so I've given my friends nothing to respond to. That means, of course that most of my time is spent here responding and let me tell you, it's impossible to respond to everything...time won't allow it, some posts don't apply to me, some don't interest me. It's very much give and take here. On Sunday I injured my right shoulder playing tennis so I'm pretty much out of commission and struggling with the pain. I surely hope people don't delete me if they stop noticing I'm around...lol.
@GardenGerty (98250)
• United States
27 Mar 07
We at this discussion seem to be a really understanding group. We know that there is life beyond myLot, and we would not be so rude as to limit who could respond, either. I think I could have made two discussions out of this one.
@raijin (10373)
• Philippines
26 Mar 07
I've seen alot of those types of discussions, and I am very disappointed to these members. All they do is rant, beg, and are forcing their friends to respond to their discussions. I think they are expecting too much from it, and that they don't know how to play a fair game. For me, I never think of my friends that much, I just do what I think is the best thing to do here. We all have our own reasons why we sometimes cannot respond to some of our friends posts, and the best thing to do is understand them.
@GardenGerty (98250)
• United States
26 Mar 07
Once again, my faith in the majority of myLot users is well founded. The ranting raving members stand out like sore thumbs among the rest of you jewels.
1 person likes this
@charms88 (7543)
• Philippines
26 Mar 07
Hello gardengerty, I''ve been with mylot for a month now and have pretty much learned my way around here. I admit that I tend to be emotional at times. I recently posted a thread about deleting friends. I was real upset because I have a lot of active friends who never bothered to reply to any single threads of mine. While I did nothing but to give my unending support to this active friends. As you can see from my profile, I don't have a long list of friends. That's why I was able to check on the activities of each one of them. I only deleted those who are active but never the inactive ones. I like to give them the benefit of the doubt as I''m sure they have their own lives to deal with. I didn't feel any better about deleting friends. But what's the point of retaining them either. I never required everyone to respond to all my threads. A topic or two will do. :0
@GardenGerty (98250)
• United States
26 Mar 07
As far as I have seen, you have always been "charming", although, now that you mention it, I do remember a discussion along this line. You were hurt, but you were not hateful.
@arkaf61 (10883)
• Canada
26 Mar 07
NO , I"m not terribly hurt when or if my friends do not respond. I try to do so myself but I don't always have a chance to respond to all post, not counting with the fact that I probably wouldn't be able to respond properly to some of them. SOme people tend to take things too personally. Mylot is not a job and responding to friends is a nice thing but not an obligation. I accept friends or ask for friendship based on people's profiles and the answers I read from them. If I find common grounds and interests then I usually would be interested in being friends because I know I will probably enjoy the discussions and answers. But this doesn't mean any implied obligation on the part of any of us. Once your list of friends grows it would be impossible to respond to all unless we spent the whole day in here, which is not the case for most of us. Adding to that there are lots of new discussions starting from people that are not our friends but we're still interested in respond to. I appreciate every single response I get from my friends, I read them all, I rate them all and I make comments whenever I can. I also do my best to respond as many discussions from my friends as I can. I don't respond just to make a number, but to offer insight or to participate in the discussion.I hope this is enough, because I don't think I can offer more than this. Hugs to you:)
1 person likes this
@Lindalinda (4112)
• Canada
25 Mar 07
Actually there has been more than one discussion of that nature. I find it so sad that people would get angry over such trivial matters. It would not a fun forum if you had the obligation to respond to people from a friends list, if it was an absolute must. I really enjoy it if I see responses from my friends lists and I answer with pleasure if one of my friends has posted a topic I find interesting. As for the rest I answer questions that stimulate me, make me think, evoke an emotion in me to want to help and I don't care on whose list those people are. Good thread!
@GardenGerty (98250)
• United States
26 Mar 07
You are correct, there are several along that line. It is one thing to say that you are disappointed, in a kind manner, and another thing to bash and rant about how unfair everyone is. I am like you in the way I choose to respond.
@LittleMel (14055)
• Canada
25 Mar 07
I would be happy if I have this kind of person in my list and they delete me. Really, I don't like those who think they are more important than other people. There are thousands of discussions with no response, and 8 of them are mine. I have never complained if my friends didn't answer to my topic, even if I did respond to theirs. What kind of friend that forces you to respond to their topics? You have the right to choose who or what you want to or can respond, on here and in real life. I have over 100 friends, I could say only 5 or 8 ever responded to my discussions. Is this a sin? I don't think so. I also responded to discussions without response and never bug any of my friends to respond to mine. I actually told a friend not to respond to one of my topics LOL yes I did! He apologized for not responding and I said he shouldn't, since that topic generated quite a few rants about other forum I joined and he was never a member of that forum so why respond? He can relate to those topics anyway! I don't like unfair people and do not wish to have them in my friends circle.
1 person likes this
@LittleMel (14055)
• Canada
25 Mar 07
oh wait, i forgot to add "not" in one sentence "He can not relate to those topics anyway!" this friend is very nice person, I'm lucky to have true friends in life and some on here, they are always ready to help when I pm them. I hope the same for you too.
1 person likes this
• United States
25 Mar 07
To answer some "unknowns" that have been pointed out in the responses here, when I come to MyLot, I have saved/bookmarked this URL: http://www.mylot.com/nr/friendsdiscussions.aspx If I am still logged in, it will take me directly to the "Discussions My Friends Started" list. Others rely on email when Notify is on for people in their friends list. For me, I at times cannot expect people to respond to my discussions because many of them, either they already responded to the ones they were able to respond to, or they must have like a certain type of music or something.
1 person likes this
@LittleMel (14055)
• Canada
25 Mar 07
thanks Krazyklingon. I used to search discussions my friends started and discussions with no response mostly, and new discussions later on
1 person likes this
@yanjiaren (9050)
26 Mar 07
That's biting the busicuit a bit I think..yeah we may have sometimes had a bit of a grumble but to be honest if I get a few replies fine..if not doesn't matter to me either. I have fun doing stuff now with my hubby and I come on here to domy quotas of replies..only one discussion a day maximum..on saturday i didn't have time to post even one..like you said we all havelives other than mylot..This is just an extra..I am gratefulm for whatever comes now..I am not so sensitive any more.
1 person likes this
@weemam (13378)
26 Mar 07
Hi Gerty there have been over 250 people asked me to be friends and there is no way I could keep in touch with them all , If someone is good enough to answer my discussions , I will in time get back to them , I am like you though I have a lot of GOOD friends who answer most of my discussions but no , I wouldn't fall out with them if they didn't ,I hope I can get to them all eventually , good luck pal xx
1 person likes this