How do you handle rejection?

United States
March 25, 2007 4:35pm CST
Either you are the one rejecting somebody or you are the one being rejected? I hate rejection just as much as I hate confrontation, each time I have to do the speech, it just sucks big time. I haven't been rejected for I haven't tried to be the one to go up to guys, but in terms of bursting their bubbles, I just don't like it. I feel bad whenever I have to tell them, sorry but I just don't see us together. Sometimes I feel awful, but then I just think that if I don't speak up, then I might be misleading the person, so I have no choice but to say it. How do you deal with rejection? Does it come easily for you? Is there a specific manner how you break the news to that person? And if you are the one that is being rejected.. how do you handle it? Are you quick to recover or you feel miserable for a very long time? Share your experiences.
10 people like this
41 responses
@netski_15 (423)
• Philippines
25 Mar 07
I hate the feeling of being rejected. Why? Because I feel that I am stupid, dumb and no one when deep inside me I know Im not. You will feel like there is something lacking in you everytime you get rejected, in terms of jobs, relationships and other factors. With regard to rejecting a person, I tend to pass the obligation to other people. I dont want to see the look in their faces once I give the bad news that involves rejection.
• Philippines
26 Mar 07
I have to admit that i have been rejected many times, but not only by boys but also by people whom i wanted to befriend. Well, being rejected by a guy really sucks! Most especially when the guy that rejected you loved you before. After turnung him down, you finally realize that little by little you started to like the guy but unfotunately, all he can say is that "It's to late".. Gosh! Isn't it harsh?! People have the freedom to choose the one they love but what hurts with this freedom is the possibility of you being rejected. Being rejected is a normal thing. Sometimes, we are rejected by simple means (like when your asking someone for a tea-time but rejected due to work loads) that we able to tolerate it. But the question is, How will you handle rejection?. It was easy for me to cope with when i got rejected because of my optimism. I never gave up nor degraded myself just because i was rejected by someone. You should be somehow happy with that rejection because, come to think of it, you just suffered rejection when it wasn't really meant to be. While others (though not being rejected) are being fooled. No one can ever stop the pain of rejection but no one can also stop you from crying. If you feel bad about it, then feel free to cry as loud as you want. Crying can help you release what's inside of you. And always remember the people who are still there for you to help you . Well, i think i've shared to much.. hehehe .. i liked your discussion because it can help others who doesn't know how to handle rejection.. keep up the good work .. =)
• United States
28 Mar 07
Thanks for the insite and input, I am glad you find the topic interesting and helpful.
@hitesh369 (534)
• India
26 Mar 07
really hate rejection but to be honest it's just a part of life. I try to see the positive and remind myself that the future holds many things in store for me. I don't really recover quickly from rejection, but when I dole it out I try to be as up-front and honest as possible. Even if the person doesn't like what you are doing, at least they have to respect your honesty.
1 person likes this
@PunkyMcPunk (1477)
• Canada
26 Mar 07
This is going to sound horrible. lol! But I handle rejection quite well! I get rejected about 50% of the time. No, I'm not a weird lover of emotional anguish but I have come to the point in life where I have decided, I don't know what comes after so if this is the only life I do get I am going to live it as open as I can. You see I was in my last year of highschool and there was this boy who I suppose I was head over heels in love with. We took almost all of the same classes, he was so intelligent and soft spoken, quiet and thoughtful etc..... But I could never bring myself to talk to him. I used to just love him from afore. On our last day of highschool, he'd been accepted at a University out west (too far away), and I'd gotten a scholarship for a University in Montreal, well we were both being "bad" that day and skipping the last day of school. Well, we met along a street in our little town and he gave me a BIG hug. We stood there for a ew minutes kind of looking at our feet and he spoke up and said "you know, I had the biggest crush on you for the last 4 years" and we both laughed hugged again and wished eachother luck and walked away. I mentally kicked myself because this whole time I could hve been with this wonderful boy.... Ever since then I will not just watch things go by. If I like a guy I will ask him out. If I do not think something is fair, I will say so. If someone asks for volunteers I raise my hand, if there is an opportunity I'm all over it. I handle rejection extremely well because yes, it will hurt a little bit but at least you know how it turns out. I will never know what sort of life I could have had if that guy and I had've gone out. Who knows maybe I'd still end up here, maybe we'd have gotten married etc... who knows. I missed my chance. I am not going to miss any chance with what I have left with this life.
1 person likes this
@ratyz5 (7829)
• Philippines
26 Mar 07
Well, being rejected does get you that sting but, it really depends on the person who is going to be rejected. If they are strong and positive, they might just look back for a few moments and then go on with their lives being stronger than before. I handle rejection with ease now. Its so easy when you don't expect much so you won't get hurt as much as well. Then, there are those who reject others. Now it depends again to the person who is being rejected. For one thing, being nice is good but, you should be nice to yourself first. This isn't a selfish thing. You have to be comfortable first so that you can make others comfortable as well. How can you handle them if your are not up to it? If you see things not going as smoothly as it should, let's say that its really them that's making things complicated, its better to cut them loose than having them as parasites. Harsh words but, that's the nicest euphemism I can come up with. Though rejecting people does give you that guilt, it has to be said or else they won't realize themselves as well from others. When your not sure, ask yourself, "Should this go on?" If your a martyr, well, by all means be charitable.
1 person likes this
@ESKARENA1 (18300)
25 Mar 07
IN A WORD, BADLY. I have never been good at handling rejection, i tend to go away and sulk for a few weeks but eventually i come back stronger blessed be
1 person likes this
• Canada
25 Mar 07
I just remind myself that if I am rejected it is the loss of the one rejecting me, not my loss. If someone doesn't think they need me in their lives then I really don't need them either. I just suck it up and move on with what I want to do. If someone held onto me who didn't really need/want me, it wouldn't be good for either of us.
1 person likes this
@aso322 (75)
• United States
25 Mar 07
I've never been rejected romantically, but only because I never approach guys. Well, that's not necessarily true, I chased after one guy, but we've been dating for a year now. Rejection in any form I don't handle well. The most recent example I can think of is rejection from a sorority I rushed. It crushed me. I spent that entire weekend crying and wondering why I wasn't good enough. I care too much what people think of me, and it doesn't allow me to bounce back easily. Though I've never been in the situation where I had to reject someone, I can understand why it would be just as hard as being rejected yourself. You know how painful it can be, so it's not a good feeling inflicting that pain on someone else.
1 person likes this
@myklaire (437)
• Philippines
25 Mar 07
To face rejection, be open-minded and think positive. It might be a way of saying, that it's not truly yours, you're opt for better, or something good out there is waiting for you. Don't coerce or force yourself to that thing or person, the more you'll get hurt.
1 person likes this
@towongfoo27 (2989)
• United States
25 Mar 07
I tend to take rejection to heart. Rejection hurts, but I think everyone must experience rejection once to learn from it. This way when you reject someone, you can do it with more tact and sensitivity because you have went through rejection yourself. Yet if the rejectee doesn't get the message, sometimes the rejecter needs to be more upfront like in a speech. If the message still isn't comprehended by the rejectee, just walk away. I think if a person is too cold about the rejection, they will be more likely to be rejected in the same manner themselves. Thinking before acting is important. Last but not least, the person doing the rejecting is not responsible for other people's feelings.
• United States
25 Mar 07
"Last but not least, the person doing the rejecting is not responsible for other people's feelings." Yeah I do hope I feel that way, but in some ways or more I always feel bad, cause I hate bursting their bubble, just the fact that I know I might have hurt someones feelings isn't so good to bear. Even so, sometimes there's just job to be done.
@prestocaro (1254)
• United States
25 Mar 07
I really hate rejection but to be honest it's just a part of life. I try to see the positive and remind myself that the future holds many things in store for me. I don't really recover quickly from rejection, but when I dole it out I try to be as up-front and honest as possible. Even if the person doesn't like what you are doing, at least they have to respect your honesty.
• United States
25 Mar 07
"Even if the person doesn't like what you are doing, at least they have to respect your honesty." --Well that is what I am keeping in my thoughts when i have to do it, that I am just being honest, so that noone will get hurt, prolonging something that is not going anywhere isn't that helpful so might as well speak up while it's still early.
• Finland
6 Apr 07
i really feel that rejections should always be dealt very directly...no ignoring or vaguely reacting to whatever is happening. this wil lead to misunderstandings and leave the other person/s in utter confusion. being idnorant is nothing but a way to escape the situation...if u hav decided that rejection is the only solution, u shud come up straight with it...and not leave it veiled...
• India
28 Mar 07
Well I think everyone would have gone through the rigmorale of rejection in life at least once. I swear its not easy being the one rejected or being the one rejecting somebody. The feeling is really bad and it does stay for a few days if not weeks or months. I think if you feel that its simply not working out you should speak up. The earlier the better because the other person might be thinking otherwise and with each passing day his or her hopes might be groeing to take the realtionship to a new level. I know its hurtful but its something that has to be done sooner or later. I've gone through the been rejected part. I did hurt badly but I think its part of life. If you fall and get hurt get up put some balm and keep walking. Its life. I think if you want to break the news to someone theres no specific way. When the oppurtunity presents itself just tell the person that it will not work out. Life dosen't end there. It goes on.
• India
27 Mar 07
i have not been rejected or but i have rejected some ppl. in my life before and i sensed the awful feeling when its time to say no as it is the time when you really have to face the other persons feelins in a negative way
@jen20619 (1302)
• Ireland
26 Mar 07
Im a proud person and rejection just isnt something I can take well. I do try to avoid been in situations that could lead to me been rejected but then sometimes I do take the chance cause thats what lifes about sometimes you have to swallow your pride and if you get what you wanted its soo worth it.
@lil_AsZ (11)
• Philippines
26 Mar 07
When someone rejected you...always bear in mind that its a learning experience to make it better the next time around..
@magikrose (5424)
• United States
26 Mar 07
I look at rejection as a chance to improve myself to do better next time. I dont let it get me down. When I get rejected for anything I just pick myself back up and go some where else and try again and try NOT to make the same mistakes. Eventually I reach my desired goal.
@chm236 (34)
• China
26 Mar 07
usually i keep silence , or tell him the truce
@whyaskq (7532)
• Singapore
26 Mar 07
The feeling of being rejected is never a nice one and I will feel miserable. I may forget about it after a few days, but it will come back and then I will cry. Perhaps it is because of being seasoned, I am rather cool when rejecting people. I will just tell it directly and frankly without beating around the bush. I know this is a hard-hearted approach, but I guess it is the best for me. I also feel miserable rejecting people.
@wisedragon (2330)
• Philippines
26 Mar 07
As far as rejecting girls, yes I do have a tough time doing that. I find it so hard to say no. I feel guilty. But that's better than to lead her to believe that she has a chance. Better to hurt her now than later. As far as me being rejected, well, I rarely pursue a girl. I want the circumstances to be perfect before doing so. And I would only do so if I feel I have a good chance. So far, so good. I haven't been rejected yet while courting a girl.