Something cute I found..

United States
March 25, 2007 9:37pm CST
Here is something cute I found on myspace that a friend posted about the English language. If you ever feel stupid, then just read on. If you've earned to speak fluent English, you must be a genius! This little treatise on the lovely language we share is only for the brave. Peruse at your leisure, English lovers. Reasons why the English language is so hard to learn: 1) The bandage was wound around the wound. 2) The farm was used to produce produce. 3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse. 4) We must polish the Polish furniture. 5) He could lead if he would get the lead out. 6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert. 7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it w as time to present the present.. 8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum. 9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes. 10) I did not object to the object. 11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid. 12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row. 13) They were too close to the door to close it. 14) The buck does funny things when the does are present. 15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line. 16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow. 17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail. 18) After a number of injections my jaw got number. 19) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear. 20) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests. 21) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend? There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France (Surprise!). Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. Quicksand works slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend. If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it? Is it an odd, or an end? If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell? How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out, and in which, an alarm goes off by going on. English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all. That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.
3 people like this
9 responses
@AskAlly (3627)
• Canada
26 Mar 07
This is really weird. And they say Chineses is diffucult to learn. How diffucult it would be to learn this language it you really think about it. It's a great post and very entertaining! I will pass this along in email to my friends.
1 person likes this
• United States
26 Mar 07
I had always heard that English was the hardest. But I didn't believe it when I tried to learn French in high school . LOL. Glad you enjoyed it :)
@rsmith512 (1561)
• United States
7 Apr 07
I have never thought that English is the hardest language to learn...but that is just because we heard it and then later learned it in school. I am taking French...and I find that it is harder and also has many exceptions and the way that you must say it!! :)
1 person likes this
• United States
9 Apr 07
LOL. I know what you mean. It's all backwards - or at least to us. I took three years and I barely still remember anything. But I really didn't make a big effort to either LOL.
@MySpot (2602)
• United States
28 Mar 07
I totally understand how English is the hardest language to learn... yet, it was always my favorite subject! (I am told that I'm strange though) This is great and I'll definitely have to share it ; ) THANX
• United States
29 Mar 07
LOL. English (or compisition rather) was the hardest subject for me. :)
1 person likes this
@MarkyB21 (1545)
10 Apr 07
Wow! Thanks for posting that, it was really interesting to read. I love the way we can use the English language as comedy because of the highly complex way it has evolved from a wide range of different languages.
1 person likes this
@sarah22 (3981)
• United States
10 Apr 07
thanks, makes you realise that there is more to a language then we thought
1 person likes this
@krayzee (1161)
• Romania
7 Apr 07
This is indeed rather interesting. For example I didn't know about the sweetbreads, neither the word nor the fact they are made out of meat (when the word it itself brings to mind some kind of sweet bread) (at least I knew about the sweetmeats even though there was a time I used to wonder how exactly do they prepare the meat to be sweet and how come I never saw such thing :) )
1 person likes this
• Canada
27 Mar 07
I've always been happy that english is my native language, because the way that this language has and breaks all it's rules... I'd never be able to learn it.
1 person likes this
• United States
26 Mar 07
This was absolutely fantastic , thought-provoking and so damn good for explaining WHY the heck anyone foreign to our language would want to learn it!
1 person likes this
@Willowlady (10666)
• United States
26 Mar 07
I have taught my kids about the American English. We have stolen and modifed and have exceptions to everyting. Must be why we Americans have some problems at this site. I will print this out and use it in my homeschooling since it prefectly exemplifies that which I have been teaching. Thanks for sharing it with all of us.
1 person likes this
@abroji (3247)
• India
10 Apr 07
This brings some old joke I read somewhere to my memmory. Once in an Oxford class room a proffessor was giving a lecture. An attendant entered the class room and passed a chit to the proffessor. It was an announcement saying that the departure time of the college bus is changed from two past two to one fiftyeight. The proffessor handed the chit back to the attendant and announced to the class "the departure time of the college bus is changed from two two to two to two" Is English a tough language?