can we really change husband/boyfriend
By mariyamaka
@mariyamaka (931)
India
March 26, 2007 2:20am CST
can u guys really tell me how to really change a man,be it ur husband or boyfriend???????? is it really possible? and how?
1 response
@fallenrain132321 (341)
• United States
26 Mar 07
Well that depends. If the person truly loves you, and you truly love them, then perhaps sitting down, telling them how you feel and why, letting them do the same, and discussing what things you BOTH could possibly change in order to make things better works. Don't ever point fingers at each other and say, I WANT to change this about you. Or YOU need to change this. Don't ever say you, you, you. That tends to make the matter worse. Instead sit down and say. I am unhappy because sometimes this action hurts me in this way. Or something like that. And give that person a chance to respond with their feelings. As a matter of fact, encourage them to do so. At the same time, don't try and mold them to your perfection either. If that person was like that before you met them, then you knew what they were like. Sometimes we have to accept people for what they are if we truly love them. If there are issues that really need changing, and that person isn't willing to change those matters, then perhaps it is time to move on. It takes both sides to change things around in order to make things worth. It shouldn't be just the woman or just the man. Relationships are always a two way street of give and take.
@mariyamaka (931)
• India
26 Mar 07
all what u said is correct and i have tried it either... but nothing seems to be working at all.. v LOVE each other very much as it is love marriage and only 10months have passed.... now we fight a lot though we both say sorry in the end and patch up and cry but again same things happen.... thing is i don like when he talks or chats with his friends espically girls i get angry!he says sorry but does it again!!!!!!!! it hurts me, he never goes out with them.don knw what to do or how to react now!!
@fallenrain132321 (341)
• United States
26 Mar 07
I can definitely understand your position. I went through something along the same lines. I would get very upset when my husband would talk to his friends especially if they were girls as well. Try coming up with a plan. Time that you two spend together, just the two of you, and time where you allow each other to be individuals. Let him have his friends and have time to talk with them. Every person in a couple needs their individuality. If you have friends make some time to go hang out with them. Put trust in each other. It is key to all relationships. Trust that your husband is just friends with these girls. It sounds as though he loves you. I realized that my husband was just friends with the girls he was talking to. Even made friends with them myself. I realized nothing was going on between them and those girls turned out to be very great people. It will take time and effort to work through those issues and I hope the two of you can eventually work it out. I will keep you in my thoughts and hope and pray for the two you of to work it out. Just remember what I said. Make time for the two of you and then make time for each other to have their own time too. You with you friends and him with his. Have you tried that?
1 person likes this
@mariyamaka (931)
• India
26 Mar 07
hey!!!!!!!! really thank u so much!it was motherly advise... i had lost my mom when i was just 13yrs,at times i really need advise about what to do how to do... and without any one to support i mess up??? thank u so much!! i'll surely follow ur tips. take care!
