What Do You Do When Trust is Broken?
March 26, 2007 5:22am CST
Well, as my title says "What do you do when trust is broken" in a relationship? More speficially, a romantic relationship? Lets say you care about somebody so much, but they've done many things to break your trust...how do you get past that? Is there any way to get past it? If someone essentially betrayed you more than once, in different ways, how could you get to a point where you could put it in the past, and start trusting them again? If the trust can't be repaired, does that mean it couldn't even be a friendship? Or does it just mean the romantic relationship can't continue? I do realize I've asked a lot of questions, but it's really something I'm anxious to get answers from. Thanks!
• United States
27 Mar 07
If trust is continually broken in your relationship over and over again then you may need to evaluate if this relationship is worth holding on to if it is causing you pain and if you cannot rely on that person to be honest with you. A person's word and actions say a lot about them and their character. By continuing to accept and forgive behavior that you don't like or agree with is sending them a message that it's ok to disrespect you and that is never ok. Perhaps you need to break up and take some time apart to see if they get their act together or if you need to move on to someone who you can trust and believe in. I don't think that remaining friends during that time apart is wise because even from friends you need to have a set of standards of how you would expect and would like to be treated. Most good relationships have the foundation of a friendship and if you cannot trust them then they cannot be a true friend. Remember, people will treat you as you allow them to treat you. So, if you want to be treated differently and with more respect then demand respect from your relationships and be prepared to walk away if they do not act accordingly. Just my 2 cents on the matter. All the best, Zuri http://askzuri.blogspot.com
27 Mar 07
This is very true, thank you for your thoughtful response :) I guess the idea of having to let go of someone is hard, and certainly not how I'd like things to turn out. But it seems that no matter how hard I try to take a step back and say, "Look, we need to do this and that", it just never works out - and I guess in small ways I allow for that stuff to not be followed. I know I deserve respect, so I don't know why I put up with as much as I do, because even feelings can't extend the limits one has as a person (if that makes sense).
26 Mar 07
Time heals right? If someone or somebody lose my trust I guess, there comes a time that every bad thing will be forgiven and forgotten. About me, I am careful not to lose the trust of the people around me. As much as possible I stay away from the things or people that can cause me to make my world smaller.
26 Mar 07
True, but if negative things frequently occur, and after a certain period of time trust gets broken again, what do you do? It's almost like a pattern, and there's been a lot of negativity. It's also hard to forget certain types of things that have broken trust, some things just can't be forgotten.
27 Mar 07
When trust is broken in a romantic relationship, TAKE A BREAK! Its time to sit back and re-access the viability of that relationship because trust is a foundation you can't do without if your relationship must succeed except you're building to fail. Why waste precious time?