Not liking your own kids...

@sunshine4 (8703)
United States
March 26, 2007 9:35am CST
Do you ever have a day that you really don't like your own children. Don't get me wrong~ I love my kids, but some days I don't like them. Today there is no school. My 6 yr old was playing a game on the computer and my 13 yr old came into the room and started teasing her. She then picked up the remote control and threw it at him. He started chasing her around, her screaming, the dog barking. I have just had it. I finally got them settled down and sent them both to their rooms. Some days I wonder how my kids could have turned out like this. The 13 yr old always torments his sister and many time she is the one to start it. Anyone else every feel this way?
7 people like this
27 responses
@simplysue (631)
• United States
26 Mar 07
It isn't that you don't like your kids sunshine....you don't like the behavior of your kids at times. :) The best way to deal with the picking and tormenting is to stop it in it's tracks. Sit your kids down and explain to them that you've had enough of this behavior and you will no longer tolerate it. Choose your consequenses for their actions carefully. When they break your rules about picking and tormenting, take away the things that mean the most to them for a specific amount of time and make them apologize to one another for their actions. It's very important that you follow through with the time of restiriction if you want this method to work. You can't give in or cave. A side note....sometimes the picking and teasing is the only way a sister and brother who are at awkward ages know how to express their affection toward one another. If the teasing isn't a harmful kind, void of throwing things and being hateful to one another, look at it as your kids playing with each other. As long as it's friendly and no one is getting hurt, leave it be and smile knowing that your kids are making their own connection.
1 person likes this
@sunshine4 (8703)
• United States
26 Mar 07
You are right. It is that I don't like the behavior of my kids. I will have to set a punshment for each of them and stick with it. thanks for the great advice.
1 person likes this
@psmanian (40)
• India
27 Mar 07
I have two daughters and they also behave like this only. I think we should allow this to have fun unless it is not hurting anyone of them
@prasad1961 (5597)
• India
26 Mar 07
Practically I'm very possessive man! I don't like children get independent decision. If they got any thing like that I hate them and treat them with stick a lesson for their deeds.
• United States
26 Mar 07
That type of punishment is illegal in this country.
1 person likes this
@sunshine4 (8703)
• United States
26 Mar 07
I would NEVER hit them with a stick!
1 person likes this
@ljcapps (1925)
• United States
26 Mar 07
This is terrible but i'm so glad you posted this discussion. My son is four and a half, and has been feeling his wheaties for about the last two years. For other people, he's an angel. And he's well mannered, polite, basically he's a good little all around boy. But there are days where we just go head to head and i think...well, i try not to think. there are times where he just doesn't stop talking, repeats himself over and over and over, and i'll admit, i lose patience sometimes and then feel horrible for yelling at him. He's just a kid, a boisterous energetic, curious little kid. But there are days i don't like him, and i'm sure he doesnt' like me. but to balance those days are the ones that happen more often. the ones where he amazes me at every turn with how smart he is and how much fun. days where we color together and sit down to write out the alphabet. I think any parent that says they like their kids everyday, is lying. We don't like anybody every day, not even our spouses!
@sunshine4 (8703)
• United States
28 Mar 07
So true. We love our kids everyday, but don't like them.
@astromama (1221)
• United States
26 Mar 07
My mom always told me 'I love you, but sometimes I don't like you very much'... it used to hurt my feelings until I realized, 'well... sometimes I don't like HER very much, either!' It's normal. My grandma told me the she used to sometimes lock herself in her bedroom and ignore her children for a few hours (after they were old enough to entertain themselves, of course!). She'd just lay in bed with a snack and a book and be completely off limits. She had five children.. she also liked her alone time and occassionally got fed up with her kids. I am pregnant with my first and fully anticipate that there will be days that I don't like his attitude, or that I want to give up. My attitude with children has always been... I want to have fun. They want to have fun. I'll be as fun a nanny/babysitter/mom as THEY let me be. If your kids are driving you nuts with bad behavior, by all means correct their darn behavior! If my brother and I were acting that way, it would have taken my mom about ten seconds to whip out the dust rags, put us in different rooms and make us wash the doors and floorboards! It only took about one room before we were ready to get along again!
@sunshine4 (8703)
• United States
27 Mar 07
I love the cleaning idea. I am definitely going to use it!
@dlkuku (1935)
• United States
27 Mar 07
LOL, if you feel that way now, just wait till there teenagers. In fact, I can loan you mine for a while if you want a teen to practice on. Don't worry, we all have days like that. We love them to pieces but sometimes they can just be horrendous. That's parenthood for ya! You have those wonderful moments, and then the ugly moments, which make the wonderful ones all the more precious.
@dlkuku (1935)
• United States
27 Mar 07
I read your post, honestly, I don't know how I missed the fact that you have a 13 year old, for some reason 6 year old stuck out in my mind, and I was thinking that all your children were little. LOL I think I am having early onset althseimers.
• United States
26 Mar 07
OMG, Im so glad I'm not the only mom who feels like sometimes I DONT like my child! I thought something was wrong with me.....my daughter is 2 and most days Im just like OMG just SHUT UP.......and every night its like....OMG just GO TO SLEEP! And quite often I feel like a bad parent for feeling that way....
@sunshine4 (8703)
• United States
27 Mar 07
I feel like I am a bad parent sometimes too. It helps to know that others are dealing with the same things.
• Canada
27 Mar 07
I don't have kids, but I will say that about my parents. After 15 years of divorce, my Dad is still bitter about my mother, and never misses an opportunity to call her names or something, to me, since he can't do it to her face. It really annoys the crap out of me, that they can't be more mature. Well Mom's fine, but she won't stand up for herself the way she should. I would LOVE to be able to send THEM to their rooms!!!
@JC1969 (1224)
• United States
27 Mar 07
Awww Sunshine4, you are having a 'Calgon' moment. LOL My kids were and are pretty good. I say were because my oldest is 19 and away at university. But even when he was home he and his sisters did not have conflict too much and were more often kind to each other. In fact, my 19 year old doesn't mind his 16 year old sister tagging along with him when he goes out (when he is at home). I did worry when my youngest came along, she's 7 now, but the big age difference made me worry that she would have no connection with the older 2. But, I was wrong--they love having a little sister and make sure to spend time with her. I believe what you saw happening with your 13yr old and your 6 year old, was that the 13 year old wanted attention, and any attention was going to be good attention. What you might want to do is, for those days where the kids may be home from school, you can schedule them some creative activities they can do together. It will teach them to work together and respect each other, plus give them a routine of things to do so that one doesn't become so bored with their time that they have to turn to negative behavior to fill the time.
@chiyosan (30184)
• Philippines
28 Mar 07
i think this will also come to a point in all of our lives... maybe there are times that what we want is to have a peace of mind, a solemn and silent days where we will not be bothered. having kids around is really a disaster. haha
@kotad6 (209)
• Pakistan
27 Mar 07
I havent a child yet so i dont know how to discuz about it, but personnaly speaking, i like children very much. But the kids always active and sometimes may we feel they a little serious. But its not true, we love them actually.
• United States
26 Mar 07
There were many times when I didn't like my daughter. I've also had many times when I didn't like my nieces and nephews. I love them all dearly, but sometimes, I just don't like them. I think it's perfectly normal to not like your children (or anyone else for that matter) at times while you still love them. It's not about loving them less, but being frustrated with the moment, and neglecting your own needs, even when you don't see it or recognize it. Please, don't beat yourself up or feel guilty, because, again, I see it as a completely normal reaction to living in the moment, and not the sum total of your feelings for your children. Hang in there.
@sunshine4 (8703)
• United States
26 Mar 07
Thanks, It is good to hear that I am not the only one going threw this.
1 person likes this
• India
27 Mar 07
no yaar i am not married ,i don't know much abt that... infact iam still a kid yet.......
• Pakistan
27 Mar 07
well this happened alot of time specially when they misbehave with me i just hate them dont take me wrong but sometimes this really happened
@jen20619 (1300)
• Ireland
27 Mar 07
I think you need to be more firm here.There behaviour is leaving you stressed. First of all you need to set some ground rules about this teasing .Obviously this is there way of passing time but it is making you stressed .I recommmend you taking away some of the things they like everytime this teasing and mucking about starts.Remember your the one in charge not them.
@stormygrl (761)
• United States
27 Mar 07
Teenagers ...ugh , they get all sassy and loud. Cannot wait till they're on their own. One's 17 with a boyfriend, annoying and the other is 14, both girls. The younger one is easier they just expect you to dole out money for this and that constantly.
@kurtbiewald (2625)
• United States
27 Mar 07
hmmmmmmm I don't have kids I think separating them for awhile made sense. Its normal to be annoyed by them, try to remember how much you like them though. Especially at those times. Try rewards maybe, like if they are good, pizza for dinner, if not peanut butter sandwiches I would try that sort of thing. Also discussing it. In therapy if its long term.
• Philippines
27 Mar 07
well..i feel that my parents do not like me...they much like my older sister. but to tell ya..appreciate the little things that she has done..because i think my parents never did that.
@yanstill (1490)
• China
27 Mar 07
i didnt have a child,but look at those children,i will feel asured, it's a family,and i like that feeling
• India
27 Mar 07
Enjoy the gift of god.......... there are couples praying sincerely to have a kid....... those who have it doesn understand the importance of it......