Can we ever justify cheating?

Philippines
March 26, 2007 2:35pm CST
Can you? Sometimes we're being blinded by love that we tend to forget how to love ourselves. Recently, a friend came crying to me. She discovered accidently that her boyfriend is having a secret affair with his officemate. I know she was badly hurt, but what shocked me was when she said that she believes him when he said that it wasn't his fault. He was just being teased by his officemate. Can you beleive that? Or it's just me blinded by rage?
4 people like this
7 responses
@lifetalk (681)
• Pakistan
26 Mar 07
Cheating is something that never has a justification. You can never justify this concept. It's so dark, and leads so much to the path of destruction that justifying it is like trying to justify the intentional murder of an innocent. As for your friend. This is something that's normal. She is just not ready yet, to leave the guy, and so, that's what she says to herself to console herself, for the time being. Probably she's hoping that the guy will eventually realise that she's the one for him. Anyway, as time passes, and she realizes what the truth is, she'll get over it..
3 people like this
@PunkyMcPunk (1477)
• Canada
26 Mar 07
Cheating is wrong. There is no accident to it. I know some people claim they were drunk when it happened, some people were caught up in a moment etc... I have heard a lot but I ahve been cheated on A LOT. I would prefer to have my boyfriend come and talk to me, maybe we could work it out and figure out why it is he is thinknig of being unfaithful and we can fix things, or he could just dump me and while it would hurt I would get over it and move on.
3 people like this
• United States
28 Mar 07
Some people lack self love and want to hold on to a relationship, no matter how much they are mistreated. They will justify bad behavior by making excuses for the partner and allow the partner to not take responsibility for their actions. Living in a state of denial is their way of pretending a rocky or problematic relationship is actually doing well. Or, a way of not being alone even though the relationship may be two-faced. Deep down, she is fully aware of what is really going on there but is not ready to leave him or face the reality of the situation. It's easier to blame other women for hitting on her boyfriend, as if the boyfriend played no role in pursuing the affair. And the fact that even when caught the boyfriend still could not confess to his part in the affair just reflects what a poor choice of partners she has chosen for herself. I'd even venture to say that this may not be the first time he has cheated on her. It may just be the first time he was caught at it. Until your friend is ready to build her self esteem and love herself more, she will stay in this bad relationship. She has to realize for herself that she deserves better and is willing to be alone for a while until she finds it. All the best, Zuri http://askzuri.blogspot.com
2 people like this
@salam1 (1475)
• Malaysia
26 Mar 07
It seems that love has done something bad here! We can see that love does wonder when the thing that had been love is a good thing, like love a country you will do good for that country. What happen in your story is 'love a liar then the love lies you!'. What do you think?
2 people like this
• India
26 Mar 07
sorry, if i was in your friend's place i would never believe him, even if i'm deeply in love with him. i would have accepted superficially what he has to say but then, afterwards i would myself have tried to probe deeper by either spying, asking his other officemates, or by catching him red-handed.
2 people like this
@cher913 (25890)
• Canada
26 Mar 07
Nice try, but it takes two to tango so they say...he is a willing partner, so he cannot use that excuse, can he???
2 people like this
• United States
26 Mar 07
First of all not you cannot justify cheating. As far as your friend goes she does not really beleive him she just has to tell herself and you that because she is not ready to leave him yet. Beleive me it will happen again and one of the times she will open her eyes to it. There is nothing you can do until she is ready to see it for herself. Best thing you can do as a friend is state your opinion and leave it alone. Best wishes
2 people like this