How do you rate as a Listener?

@Evacuee (1147)
March 27, 2007 5:31pm CST
Are you a good listener? Do family and friends ring you and tell you their troubles? How do you take it? Sometimes we have many of our own worries and troubles that to take on any more from other people might seem just too much. However to just sit and listen to a person and not reply by telling them your problems is rather hard but then they have rang to get you to lend your ear to their probs..!! How do you rate?
3 people like this
10 responses
• Australia
29 Mar 07
I have done a lot of counselling over the years, so I know the importance of listening - not just to what is said, but to what is implied and what is not said, and what is said through the body. Most people with problems only need to put their problems into words and they can sort things out themselves, with a minimum of guidance. I still have a number of teens and young adults who come for help, but really all they need is a listening ear and a little encouragement. On the other hand, there are a couple of people I know whom I try to avoid. One of them NEVER stops talking, and she talks about nothing. I am afraid that with people like that, I am NOT - definitely NOT - a good listener. How do I rate? It depends on the person doing the talking. Some people have my full attention, but I would rather avoid some others.
@Evacuee (1147)
6 Apr 07
Firstly..I congratulate you on having the patience of counseling people. It must be a difficult thing to do sometimes. But I have been told that counselors sit and listen and as you say the person who needs it seems to sort out there own problems that way. Glad to say I have never had counseling or done any counseling.
• Australia
21 Apr 07
Counselling has a double nature. Yes, it does tend to be emotionally draining, but it is such a blessing at the same time - especially when you see good results in the life of the person. Being used to help someone is always a plus. Thanks for the best response.
• Ireland
28 Mar 07
I'm called the agony aunt in my family. I dread phoning either of my two sisters. I usually start off by saying "just a quick call to see how you are". Two hours later, I am still listening to their tales of woe and they wouldn't stop to ask how I was doing. Whenever they phone me, the phone calls are a lot shorter, as they are footing the bill. My children are now grown up and have either moved out or have married and they still phone me whenever they have a problem. Yes, I am a good listener, but sometimes I feel like screaming after I put the phone down.
1 person likes this
@Evacuee (1147)
6 Apr 07
Yes Alexandria it does get one down doing all the listening. Sometimes it must feel good to have someone listen to you for a change. We have a phone which you can walk around the house with and if I get a little bored with a phone call I quietly open the front door and ring the door bell....!! Oh! Theres someone at the door I must go Byeeeee!! Works every time. Just remember that if you ring me anytime...!! hehehe!!
@tishabest (602)
• Belgium
27 Mar 07
Oh gosh this is one of my biggest problems. Apparently I am a pretty good listener and generally don't like to burden others with my problems. However every once in a while I do need to share them and some people just don't stop talking about their own problems and I can't a word in edgewise. I stop them in their tracks and tell them to stop being selfish.
1 person likes this
@Evacuee (1147)
27 Mar 07
Hi 'tishabest' I know hoe you feel. Don't you just hate it when someone asks how you are then when you tell them the health problems you have had they interrupt a go on a tirade of the problems they are having!!
@stephcjh (38473)
• United States
27 Mar 07
My family used to call me all of the time and tell me their troubles. I was always willing to listen to them and try my best to help them out. I never had anyone who would listen and be concerned for my problems though so I got burnt out very quick. I have no problem listening to them. I just want to be listened to and heard also. Most of the time you cannot even get a word in. I used to call some of them so I could talk to them about something that bothered me, but they would talk the whole time and then I never got to day a word and they had to let me go. I got tired of it and just stopped calling them. they stopped calling me too because I soon let them know that it was not fair to me.
@Evacuee (1147)
6 Apr 07
Thats a shame Steph and I feel that you deserve more than that. Just remember.....it is said that to be a good talker you must be a good listener. If they don't listen they should not talk...!!
@cabergren (1181)
• United States
27 Mar 07
I am a great listener. People are always telling me their problems. I do offer advice if asked, but not all the time. Sometimes people just want to get it off their chest and don't want any advice. I have had strangers tell me their life stories.
1 person likes this
@Evacuee (1147)
6 Apr 07
You must carry the kind of face that says...'trust me', 'Cabergren'. So be proud of the fact that you can listen and help those that need it.
@Stringbean (1273)
• United States
27 Mar 07
I like to think I am a good listener. Sometimes it is hard to do a good job of it when the same person calls almost every day and talks on and on and on about almost the same things she discussed with you the day before. If you try to tell her about something that has happened in your life or try to change the subject, it only takes a few seconds before she is right back to where she left off. I tell myself that she probably needs an outlet for her problems, but my husband isn't as patient. If I'm not here, he is off the phone with her in 30 seconds or less. But she is my sister, not his.
1 person likes this
@Evacuee (1147)
27 Mar 07
You are a good lister then 'String' and I admire you for it. It must be a tiring job for those that do it for a living and in your case and others similar, it must be a heavy cross to bear. With sisters and brothers its very hard to discourage them but you do have the consolation that your sister must think the world of you to know she can share her problems with you. Thank you for posting.
@AskAlly (3625)
• Canada
29 Mar 07
It just seems to depend on the day. If we are at battle stations, that's what I call a busy day, I don't always give my full attention simply because I am so preoccupied with my own tasks at hand. Then there are days that I just don't want to listen to someone whine again and again over the same things. I actually find myself getting annoyed that the person has not tried to take control of the situation. Genuine problems are another matter. I always have time for those. I am a good listener then. I also know which of my friends really need to talk not just whine.
1 person likes this
@rosie_123 (6113)
6 Apr 07
If I'm totally honest, not particularly good. I have to be "a listener" at work - I interview people all day, and have to separate the truth from the lies for our after hour, so I admit when I'm at home, I'm not very patient with friends and family. I tend to just want to "switch off" and not want to hear anyone else's problems anymore!
• Philippines
14 Aug 07
Me,i am a good listener. I listen and let the speak to end what they want to share or talk with me before i speak to them.
@OURDEW (4809)
• United States
7 Apr 07
I think I am a good listener. I once had a job in a department store. Everybody would come to me with their problems. I don't know how it got started, but I was known for that. If anybody needed to talk they would come to me. That is also true now. My friends and family know that they can come to me.