SENSITIVE ISSUES, How do you APPROACH your MATE to DISCUSS them?

How do you talk to you mate about sensitive issues - sensitive issues
United States
March 28, 2007 4:15pm CST
Sensitive issues, they all happen in every relationship and if you are like me you like to bring them to the forefront and discuss them with your mate so that you can both be on the same page and get matters resolved before they become unapproachable. Do you wait to when you are alone? Do you discuss the issues immediately upon them happening to you? Or do you wait to when you are in bed with your mate to bring them up?
5 people like this
6 responses
• Philippines
28 Mar 07
Relationships are never perfect. They could be going well but they're never 100% flawless. Problems are inevitable in a relationship and there will always be someting that a couple should figure out together. The best way to handle issues nomatter how big or small they are is to communicate in a calm manner, making sure that each party has made their point clear and that they are well understood. Location where the conversation takes place is irrelevant. Timing is of the essence. Make sure that the other party is ready and able to properly communicate because if not then nothing will ever be resolved. Always keep an open mind and try to stay as positive as possible. Never antagonize the other party involved and never belittle his/her opinion. Try to come up with the best possible solution that will benefit everyone. Whatever decision that both parties agreed upon should be firmly implemented without and hesitation or regrets.
@vijigopi (991)
• United States
28 Mar 07
I agree with everything that you have said. Just wanted to add one more important thing.... whatever it is that you are commenting upon should be done in the best way possible ( I mean the words and tone coming out should be polite and understanding), otherwise it might turn out to be a disaster instead of just a private talk. P.S. snuglesteen... I have given you a '+' for your absolute clarity and wonderful advice in this response.
• Philippines
30 Mar 07
Thank you very much. I try my best to give whatever it is that I have. God Bless!
• Canada
28 Mar 07
It really depends on what it is I feel we need to discuss . If I fear that somehow we may argue about it then I will suggest that we go for a drive . We always go for drives when we need to talk if we want to make sure the children do not hear us . But other times if it is just something private that I wish to discuss and I am sure we will not argue about it then I will talk when we go to bed that night or when I feel the time is right for both of us that I know that we can talk privately without one of the children coming into our room .
2 people like this
@gberlin (3836)
29 Mar 07
My wife and both work full time so this is no time during the day to talk. Usually we talk at night and if the issue came up in the morning one of us would simply say we need to talk about this tonight. We have been married 30 years and sensitive issues to other couples who have been married less years are not so sensitive to us anymore. It is rare that we have an issue that we would find hard to approach each other.
@Denmarkguy (1845)
• United States
30 Mar 07
I don't tend to bring up "sensitive" issues except in private... yes, they should certainly be addressed as soon as possible, so they don't get to "fester and rot" and become much larger than they originally were. Personally, "in bed" is the LAST place on the planet I tend to bring these things up, as I am a firm believer in the old saying that it's unwise to "go to bed angry" and to "bring issues to bed with you." Nothing makes for a "long night" like two people sleeping at opposite corners of the bed because they had an argument right before going to sleep. But that's just MY personal preference; your mileage may vary!
• United States
30 Mar 07
It depends on the issue, and the two people. How open and honest they are. How well they communicate. So, there is no cut and dry answer to that. As for me and my marriage, we are open and talk about everything anytime.
@caribe (2465)
• United States
29 Mar 07
It is hard for me to find a good time to talk to my husband about sensitive issues. He doesn't want to talk about them at night because he says it will disturb his sleep. In the mornings he is usually too busy to discuss them or says it isn't a good time and will ruin his day. In the afternoon he manages to stay away if he knows there is something we need to discuss. So it is never easy for us to speak about sensitive issues.