Giving Multiple Best Responses to One Person... does this bother you?

By Leca
@lecanis (16664)
Murfreesboro, Tennessee
March 28, 2007 11:13pm CST
I just went through and resolved many of my discussions. I must admit I was way behind on this, because I find it a very hard thing to do. But I saw a thread today urging people to do so, and figured it was as good a time as any. When I went through my discussions, I found several of them where the same person had written what I felt was the "best response". I really didn't know what to do. I didn't want to give "best response" to one that I didn't feel deserved it, but I also didn't want to give so many to one person, because it seemed kind of biased and favoritive of me. What would you have done?
21 people like this
30 responses
• Philippines
29 Mar 07
-lol- i just went through my unresolved discussions too coz some were 1-2 weeks old already. :) it doesn't matter to whom you give the "best response" to. what matters is that the person deserves to get a best response for the relevance, usefulness and quality of the response he/she provided to your discussion. i've given a best response to friends in my list, and those who are not in my list. i've also given a best response to those who have been in mylot for quite a long time having achieved 1000s of posts already, and i've given some to newbies as well (less than 10 posts to their name). it doesn't matter if he or she has a star, a high or low star rating, my friend or not, newcomer or old-timer... if i think and believe the person deserves it, then he/she can have the best response from my discussion. it doesn't matter if you've given that person a lot of best responses... it's just to show that the person has been consistently giving you quality responses.
@lecanis (16664)
• Murfreesboro, Tennessee
29 Mar 07
It is so hard to choose sometimes, isn't it? I had discussions that were almost a month old out there because I just couldn't make up my mind. But last night I stayed up late and made myself take care of it. It sounds like you're really good at this though. =)
2 people like this
• Philippines
30 Mar 07
yeah, i agree, sometimes it's hard, especially if you have 3-4 responses that deserves the best response in one particular discussion of yours. :) i've only been here 3 weeks and i think i need more practice. :)
3 people like this
• Canada
29 Mar 07
If the person deserved "best response", then it doesn't bother me one iota. If, on the other hand, you just gave them the award because they are on your friends' list and there were better responses, then I would take issue with that. The one thing that bothers me about "best response" is how some people manipulate it. It doesn't sound like you did. But many do. They will only give it to their friends even if there are better responses and I just feel that is morally wrong. I also feel it is wrong to give it if no one deserves it. But hey, you just made someone very, very happy and you said the person deserved the awards so I applaud you for making some wise choices. To me it doesn't seem biased or show favortism...not when you gave the awards for the reasons you stated.
6 people like this
@lecanis (16664)
• Murfreesboro, Tennessee
29 Mar 07
I agree with you that it's annoying when people give their friends best responses that they don't deserve. There are times when I've seen some really bad, pointless, off-topic even responses get best response. Thanks for the praise. I'm glad I did the right thing here. =)
2 people like this
• Singapore
29 Mar 07
For me, I would depend on how good that quality response really is. If say, I have 5 discussions where I have that guy marked as the best response, I will maybe give him 3 if the second in running is another friend. I try to make sure those who support me in my discussion get a best response from me from one time to another. But of course, that answer should also be quality enough. :P
4 people like this
@lecanis (16664)
• Murfreesboro, Tennessee
29 Mar 07
Thanks for your response! (I'm so glad to still see you here by the way.) "I try to make sure those who support me in my discussion get a best response from me from one time to another." I feel the same way. I have so many wonderful, intelligent friends who make very good responses to my discussions, that I wish I could reward them all!
2 people like this
@aissha (2036)
• India
29 Mar 07
i give best response when i really feel so and given to different people,but sometime i've felt that moe than one response were deserving best response ,but only one could that ,i wish i could give more than one one best responses because it is the point of view and representing in words and i've felt people even with contrasting views hv convinced me with their thoughts ,i may not be following that ,but still they are right when they say things ,i guess u know what i mean.
4 people like this
@lecanis (16664)
• Murfreesboro, Tennessee
29 Mar 07
I know what you mean. I have actually given best response to someone who disagreed with me before too, because it was a well-written and thoughtful response. =)
2 people like this
• Philippines
29 Mar 07
"its better to be honest" don't let other people make decision for yourself. You have the right to choose whether they gave the best response or not.
4 people like this
• United States
29 Mar 07
This does not bother me in the least. Some of my friends are really good writers and thinkers. That several of them have earned multiple best responses from me does not bother me at all. I always give the best response to whoever, in my opinion, has the best response.
4 people like this
• Australia
4 Apr 07
The "best response" should be for the "best response" regardless of any other consideration. Because you post good discussions and have friends who post good responses, it is inevitable that you will give the best response to the same person more than once. If you refrained from doing this because of what others may think, or because it would look like favouritism, or for any other reason, you are firstly telling a lie, and secondly denying a worthy recipient an award. You would be bowing to external pressure and denying your own conscience. Give the award to whoever should have it in YOUR opinion. It is YOUR choice and yours alone.
@lecanis (16664)
• Murfreesboro, Tennessee
4 Apr 07
Thanks for your response. "Because you post good discussions and have friends who post good responses, it is inevitable that you will give the best response to the same person more than once." This is a good point. While it might seem strange to me, I'm sure it happens to other people too. =) "You would be bowing to external pressure and denying your own conscience." This is also a good point, and makes me very glad that I did give the best responses to the one who really deserved them. =)
@catcai (1057)
• Philippines
29 Mar 07
I guess I would do the same if I was in that position. As long as the same person does give the "best" response according to my standards, then I would still give it to him because he does deserve it. I don't consider it being biased although for others, it might seem as a biased judgement. What's important to me is that he was able to give the best response. When i read the responses to my discussion,as much as possible I read directly the body if the response. I try to ignore the name of the responder until i finish reading the entire response so that i can judge well regardless of who the responder was. I usually read the responses on my email- from there i dont see the avatars of the responder, im much more familiar with the avatars than the name, so this gives all the responders a fair chance for the best response. =)
@lecanis (16664)
• Murfreesboro, Tennessee
29 Mar 07
It sounds like you're really good at being unbiased here! That's great! Thanks for your advice. =)
2 people like this
@brokentia (10396)
• United States
29 Mar 07
I struggle with awarding my best responses also. I drag my feet and they seem to build up. But yes, I also find that often a person may turn out to be my favorite. And in those cases where I find that person truly has the best response...I make sure that I give it to that person. I mean, if that person deserves it, why not. However.....If I find that every one I am looking at is the same person...I try to make sure that I do award it to someone else. I guess that is because I do not want to appear as if I am cheating and giving it to the same person every time. I have seen some people that have selected the same person for every single best response. And even I had to question if that person truly deserved it or if it was a favoritism thing. So, I do try to be sure not to give any same person more than three best responses in a row. Good question! Good luck cleaning out all your unresolved discussions. :)
3 people like this
@lecanis (16664)
• Murfreesboro, Tennessee
29 Mar 07
Thanks for your response! "I guess that is because I do not want to appear as if I am cheating and giving it to the same person every time." That's what I worry about. I've seen a lot of people do that too, giving best response to the same person no matter what they say, and it's frustrating. I don't want others to feel as if I'm playing favorites, but I don't want to be unfair by not giving best response where I see it either. Good luck to you too!
2 people like this
@wildhorse (1293)
• Egypt
29 Mar 07
Yes I had the same "problem" earlier, it seems when you have a good friend who always respond to your discussions and always responds with good responses; they will stand out especially in discussions that have very few responses, it seems unfair giving best response to someone who doesn't deserve it but seems also not fair to give many to one person, so it's better do something in the middle, give them as many good responses as they deserve but if there are responses that almost as good, skip them and give it the second best sometimes.
• United States
30 Mar 07
I disagree with your statement. If you give a best response to a post that doesn't deserve it, can you honestly say that you are being fair?
2 people like this
@mfpsassy (2827)
• United States
29 Mar 07
I give them to whoever I think deserves them. If it's the same person, then they get more than one best response. I even give them to people not on my friends list lol.
3 people like this
@lecanis (16664)
• Murfreesboro, Tennessee
29 Mar 07
Thanks for responding! I also give them to people not on my friends list. Though since I'm so good at picking friends, often they are on my friends list. =p
2 people like this
@draconess (651)
• Canada
30 Mar 07
I would give the best responses to them if I felt they deserved it. I give them to whoever answered my question best, or the post I liked the most. If it happens to be the same person several times, well, then I'll add them to my friends list because I like sharing discussions with them!
3 people like this
@Stiletto (4584)
29 Mar 07
Oh the whole best response thing stresses me out a bit I must admit. I usually leave it way too long so I have a load of them to do at once but it's just that it's really frustrating when you give a best response and then someone makes another response later that is even better! I always give best response to the person that I genuinely do think has given the best response. It doesn't matter whether they are on my friends list or not. Now it is usually the case that more often than not they will be on my friends list but that's because they respond to my posts and their responses are usually good anyway. That's why they're on my friends list! In your case I would just have gone with giving them all to the same person. If their responses were the best then they deserved it.
3 people like this
@KrisNY (7591)
• United States
29 Mar 07
I give the best response to the person who deserves it.. I don't care if the same person gets every best response from me. As long as they deserve it- I know I try hard to write quality- well written responses- so I'd be glad if someone gave me the best response- I tend to pick a profile of a person and answer all the discussions that I can relate to- Its easier this way finding good quality discussions. So I say don't punish someone because they tend to answer your discussions.. Give the best response to who you think deserves it!
29 Mar 07
I think you would be doing someone and yourself an injustice by not giving the best response to whom you think deserves it the most. If someone ends up with multiple best responses, good for them. They obviously deserve it for being consistent with their responses.
3 people like this
@happymommy3 (2013)
• United States
29 Mar 07
So many people I've noticed have their own ways of marking best responses and I do think that some only mark by favortism. I mark by who I think really deserved the best response. After all that's why it's titled best response, lol. I don't think I did well in the beginning because I wasn't familiar with the whole thing but now I am so I try and pick who has a detailed response and one that really answered well to the discussion. I do think it's okay to mark a person more than once because there are a few people on my friends list that respond very well, and descriptive and it's not because they are favored more, they just responded well. It can be hard to decide though with a discussion with so many responses but I really think I try to pick the best one. I sometimes wish we had more responses to pick like after so many responses to a discussion have the option to pick the best 2 or maybe top 3.
3 people like this
@greengal (4286)
• United States
29 Mar 07
To tell you frankly when I resolved my discussions a few days back, I apparently gave the best response to one person several times, because that user deserved it. I realized that when that user came back and said "thank you" It is not being partial or picking favourites but rather being fair and giving it to the one who deserves. Before DoubleB66(another user) used to get most best responses on my discussions, he deserved it and it would have been unfair had I ignored his responses.
3 people like this
@seamonkey (1981)
• Ireland
29 Mar 07
It really is up to you who you choose. I am always pleasantly surprised to receive a best response but I certainly never expect it, not would I be upset if I responded to loads of your topics and you never chose me.
@royal52gens (5380)
• United States
29 Mar 07
It appears this person is a very good writer so if I were you, I would give them the Best Response and not feel bad about it. As time goes on, others will learn to give responses that are also good. Be patient with them. They are still practicing. We all have to practice to get good at anything.
@sigma77 (5385)
• United States
29 Mar 07
I don't mind giving a best response to the same person several times. But, I will give others recognition even if it might be the second best. I like to share the prosperity.
3 people like this