Does weight matter

United States
March 29, 2007 11:41am CST
I am weight obssesed and looooooooooooove the extremly thin look in women - however, in the last year or so I have put on about 20 pounds...it is devastating because I cannot get in my usual clothes without looking like a squeezed sausage. I hate it and right now I am going on a crash diet which I KNOW is not good for my health but I hate the way I look. My fiancee does not say it directly but has given me a few hints about it... Does weight really matter in a relationship - what would you do if your partner put up considerable weight, how would you tell him or her to loose it???
3 people like this
30 responses
• China
30 Mar 07
My girlfriend is bigger than me,but i am not care about it.I love her very much.someone matter about your weight means they donn't look you as a real friend.Don't care about it anymore,the one who love you just becuse they love you.
1 person likes this
• United States
29 Mar 07
My husband got sick with sleep apnea. As a result of nto getting any sleep at night, he started eating a lot and drinking a lot of cokes during the day to stay awake. He put on 40 pounds in 2 months. My husband is extremely attractive by anyone's standards and was used to getting a lot of attention. Well he started getting more negative attention because of his weight and it was hard on me. I wanted him to lose weight, but I didn't know how to tell him without making him feel unsexy. So I suggested that we both lose weight for health reasons because it was true. To be healthy, we both needed to exercise.
• United States
29 Mar 07
Did it work??? I'd love to know....
• United States
30 Mar 07
We are still in the process...I will keep you posted. It goes a little deeper with my husband. He has a very very hard time getting motivated.
@urbandekay (18278)
15 Apr 07
Well, Magdalena, we need to see pics of you, thinks I. 20lb may be nothing if you were to skinny to start with all the best urban
• United States
15 Apr 07
Lol - that is soooooooooooo sweet and yes, I will put up some pics as soon as possible but here is a mental picture, I am 5'4 and my ideal weight is 100 lbs or 110 max. Because I am not very tall any extra weight looks bad on me and, Simon, a girl can never be too thin - in my opinion, of course ;)
• Philippines
30 Mar 07
Hi there! I have recently gained 33 lbs because of my pregnancy (and I hope no more!!!). There are times when I feel really depressed and frustrated about it especially when I look at myself in the mirror or when I see nice clothes in shops and knowing for a fact that I wouldn't fit in them. It's really nice that my husband is sensitive about this insecurity of mine because he reassures me that he doesn't care and he tells me that I am not fat, I am only pregnant. As for considering weight in a relationship, I think it's really important, not for any superficial reason but for health reasons. Also, I think it's our responsibility to still try our best to look good not just for our partners but also for ourself, because it is really important to feel good and happy about ourselves. I mean, if you can't even like yourself, how can others like you right?
• United States
30 Mar 07
I fully agree with you fieryfrost - YOU have to like yourself whether it is thin or slightly overweight and that is what matters....
@Denmarkguy (1845)
• United States
30 Mar 07
I think "weight matters" (whether its obesity OR getting too thin) in a relationship when it starts to affect your health... because when you're in bad health, that DOES have an impact on the relationship. My ex gained about 80 pounds from the time we got married and over about the next 5-6 years. It wasn't "the weight" that was a problem for me, but the fact that she never felt like going out and "doing" things anymore, and developed extensive chronic knee and back problems directly related to the extra weight.
• United States
30 Mar 07
Hi, What are you doing about it??? You see I kinda have the same problem... I don't look as good in my old clothes tho I still fit in them and thus, I avoid going to places and sometimes even getting fully undressed during love making...
1 person likes this
@kurtbiewald (2625)
• United States
29 Mar 07
I like it when she is kinda thin too my wife gained like 30 pounds recently she is like 160 it would be nice if she could lose 10 or so I'm 240 so I can't say much about it it would be nice for me to lose 40 or so I guess
• United States
29 Mar 07
Thank you for the honesty...its really hard to tell someone you love that he or she needs to loose weight even if you both know you want to say it.
30 Mar 07
Weight shouldn't really matter in a relationship unless it is because of health concerns. "What would you do if your partner put up considerable weight, how would you tell him or her to loose it???" If my fiancé was to put on weight I would not be telling him to loose it, at the moment he is not clinically underweight but he isn't vary far from it and would like to put some weight on but just can't seem to, myself on the other hand I am over weight and would like to loose a bit but when I talk about loosing weight my fiancé says that I don't need to and I am fine the way I am, my general health is fine no problems with blood pressure, diabetes or anything so for now if I lose weight woohoo but if I don't I am not going to let it get me down.
@sweetsue (758)
• Philippines
30 Mar 07
I am also a very weight conscious person. My weight matters a lot to me but I don't risk my health just to have that thin body as what the hollywood celebrities getting crazy about. I just stay fit and eat healthy foods. Balance diet is very essential.
@collstarx (1177)
• Indonesia
30 Mar 07
Weight obssesed not god in health wise but sometime we can't stop eat food when we must diet, I have problem same with you, but today I counterbalanced with sport, and I thing if you love somebody you must accept anything condition your partner
• Pakistan
30 Mar 07
well weight matter alot for me because i dont like heavy person
@lindajia (70)
• China
30 Mar 07
actually, i think it mattered your family members or good friends maybe care more about your health than your weight but perhaps you will not leave a good impression to a stranger
@Drakorus (71)
• United States
29 Mar 07
-laughs- I think the better question would be, are you worried about looks or health. If you try to lose weight for the wrong reasons it will drive you insane because you don't have the drive to do it. Me personally I don't think weight matters, what does matter though is being supportive of someone that wants to diet.
• United States
29 Mar 07
You know you are absolutely right - if you don't have a reason it is very hard to diet BUT, I have a good reason and that is I want to look good - in my eyes FIRST so, I think it will work this time ...even if I starve myself!
• Estonia
30 Mar 07
I dont even dont look at fatties. soz if i hurted sum1 irl.
@crizzy18 (37)
• Romania
14 Apr 07
If the person whom you are with truely loves you,he or she must love both your qualities AND flows.As long as you feel good in your skin,it's okay.But if you and only you decide that you are no longer satisfied with the way you look,then it is the right time to make a change in your life.However,I advise you to be very careful about your health,because,in my opinion,it is not a thing you can joke about...
@manzician (4727)
• India
30 Mar 07
In my opinion, I dont give much importance to weight. My girlfriend always worried about putting up weight so she doesnt even eat properly. What I think is that we should eat whatever we want but we should also work out regularly so that we can keep fit.
@missjackie (1358)
• Ypsilanti, Michigan
30 Mar 07
If your boyfriend loved you, he should love you for you and not care what you look like. You should also lose weight the healthy way. Exercise and a healthy diet. Crash diets are extremely horrible on the body and you could be doing a lot of damage.
• Philippines
30 Mar 07
Actually in a relationship it doesnt matter, but for your self it can also add confident for you.. Coz sometimes you feel youre ok with your weight, but others will think that you should add some.. Prol just enough weight for our height and age, what matter is you are healthy and you love each other..
• India
30 Mar 07
yes it matters so you should take diet
• China
30 Mar 07
Just let it be. Ater all you are what you are. To be honest, I once worried about my too thin figure. To be a little fat, I ate so much every meal and often did exercise, but it did not work. So I just gave up the plan of weight gaining. Maybe in proper time, I will return to my original plan, but I should know whether it is worth doing that.
@BreeLee (28)
• United States
30 Mar 07
Well, Weight does seem to be an issue. I really don't care about it. I'm pretty thin, I recently had surgery on my back, and since then, I'm no longer hungry, I eat though because, my mom freaks out. I wouldn't care if my boyfriend put on weight, and I certainly wouldn't say anything, because your weight can be a delicate topic.