Uncomfortable Situations

@breepeace (3014)
Canada
March 31, 2007 1:03pm CST
My boyfriend is very anti-drug now. I don't do drugs, but I grew up with 2 parents who were throwbacks to the 70's and who smoke pot quite liberally. He knows this. While it makes it uncomfortable for me to be in a situation where people are doing heavy drugs (cocaine, heroin, LSD, etc), I grew up with 2 loving parents who had an ongoing love affair with marijuana so I'm fine in that situation. He, not so much. Last weekend my mom came to visit, and we went to visit her best friend who also smokes pot. They invited him over for dinner, and while things were cooking, the 2 of them disappeared to go smoke up. He asked me if they were doing what he thought they were and I skirted the question because, well, it was obvious that's what they were doing and I didn't want the situation to escalate because he has a habit of badly overreacting where drugs are involved. The worst part is I know that he's smoked pot in the past and that his younger brother is quite into it, so to me it really seems like he's overreacting when he knows in the grand scheme, it's not really all that bad. Now, a week later, he's upset that I skirted the question and more upset that they smoked pot when he was around. I don't get it.. he's done it in the past, he knows they do it, and it's not as if they sparked up a joint in the same room, so I really don't think it's a big deal. Now he's talking as if he really doesn't want to be around my parents if they continue to smoke pot, and I think he's being ridiculous. I'll spend time with his family and friends although they don't like me and it's an uncomfortable situation for me, but because my parents lead an alternative lifestyle, he's decided he doesn't want to be around them?
2 people like this
3 responses
tishabest
@tishabest (602)
• Belgium
31 Mar 07
His reaction is rather extreme but I wonder if he has a eally bad experience he is not telling you about which is behind it. At the same time it is not fair that he doesn't want to be around your parents and he'll have to get over the fact that they as you say have an alternative lifestyle if he cares about you. Much luck!
2 people like this
breepeace
@breepeace (3014)
• Canada
31 Mar 07
He says he worries that because they're into this lifestyle, they have more of an opportunity to hurt me, intentionally or not, by getting into a car accident under the influence with me in the vehicle, etc. It makes me more mad that he's not giving them credit enough to realize they are my parents and they raised 3 perfectly happy, well adjusted kids that don't smoke pot as adults.
MsJessi
@MsJessi (423)
• United States
1 Apr 07
Wow that's a tough one. I see nothing wrong with folks that smoke it, as long as they don't try to push it onto others and they respect the fact that not everyone is into it. I even smoke from time to time, but moderately. I agree with some of the other responses, because he may have a history with it that disturbs him and bothers him. Like most said, you just need to sit and talk to him about it if he'll let you. Cause this could really hurt your relationship later. It's silly nonsense and he should be mature enough to accept people for what they do. Doesn't mean he had to do it. Good luck!
Anakata2007
@Anakata2007 (1785)
• Canada
31 Mar 07
I woudl be more incomfortable with your boyfriends judgemental attitude than with the fact that he didn't want to hang out with your parents. Your parents are your parents, he is (just) your boyfriend. Sorry but I don't think you shoudl continue this relationship if he gets that upset about YOUR parents. They are more important than anything. I agree. I think he's being ridiculous too.