Do you think stay at home moms have little to do?

@mamasan34 (6522)
United States
March 31, 2007 3:11pm CST
I am a stay at home mom now. I have heard many people say that stay at home mom's have it easy. I don't find that to be true! I have many roles as a stay at home mom. Financial planner, maid, laundry attendant, cook, dishwasher, janitor, confidante, friend, lover, mother, wife, homework helper, tutor, accountant, accounts receivable and payable even! The list goes on and on. What do you think about it guys?
12 people like this
52 responses
@Grandmaof2 (7605)
• Canada
31 Mar 07
I guess for the stay at home Mom who don't do anything and don't care about the house or the children it would be fairly easy. After my first grandchild was born my daughter was entitled to one year maternity leave and about the time that was running out they had a talk and agreed that they would give it a try and if they could financially afford for my daughter to stay home she would. When you do the math unless you have a big career that carries a big pay cheque it's silly to go to work because when you work cashier wages you go to work to give a baby-sitter a job and bring home next to no pay at all. My daughter is a stay home mom. She has a full calender of to do's throughout the week. She is very busy. The kids are very well taken care of, they're enrolled in sports, they have their mother help at the schools, they get the best of everything any mom could give them. My daughter works harder now than she ever did at her retail job, but she wouldn't trade even one bad day at home with the kids for even one hour away from the kids. A full time stay at home mom is exactly what I said it's a full time job. Thanks
@mamasan34 (6522)
• United States
31 Mar 07
I completely agree with you, for the mom who doesn't take the time to care properly for the children, home or husband, it is quite easy to sit back and relax. But for the rest of us, it sure isn't! We often take so many duties on with little rest or thanks. I do miss working sometimes, but I am ok with staying at home. Since my daughter is a little older I am considering a part time job at the local thrift store and it is only about 16 hours a week, so a little extra money and time out of the house for me. I do know what you mean about having to work to give to the daycare/babysitter and there is little to nothing left, so it is pointless. I agree with you on that to!
2 people like this
@bluewings (3857)
31 Mar 07
Gosh,that is a Long list! Well,I certainly don't think stay at home moms have little to do.It's just because the work isn't always in the spotlight that some might feel that way.Hypothetically,if a stay at home mom goes on strike,then the members in the family will surely see a Stay at home mother's role differently and thereafter,moms will be more valued.That doesn't mean I am suggesting they should go on srtike,lol.All I am saying is that in her case the gratification should come as love,respect and gratitude of the family members for being there and still being invisible.Perhaps a person is better appreciated after they come back from a vacation,lol.
@mamasan34 (6522)
• United States
31 Mar 07
Yes, if we all went on strike there would be alot of house holds in trouble! LOL Yes too often stay at home moms are taken for granted for what they do and how much they do. I am lucky though, my fiance is very supportive of all that I do and thanks me frequently.
1 person likes this
@bluewings (3857)
31 Mar 07
That is nice! I think being thanked often and special gestures of love for being what you are feels better than a paycheck.:)
2 people like this
@mamasan34 (6522)
• United States
10 Sep 07
That is very true bluewings! I tend to agree with you!
@cynddvs (2950)
• United States
31 Mar 07
I absolutely agree with you. Being a stay at home mom is the hardest but most rewarding jobs I've ever had. Most stay at home moms have to do all the things you listed but in addition to that I've also had problems accepting that I'm not bringing money into the household. When you go from working and getting paid and having your own money to staying at home and having to share money with your husband it's quite a shock. Even though I know I contribute to the household in so many ways I still have a hard time knowing I'm not contributing financially.
2 people like this
@mamasan34 (6522)
• United States
31 Mar 07
I had a problem with feeling I wasn't contributing financially to the relationship. It has taken awhile to overcome that and I am ok with that now. But you are so right about how many roles we have! Thanks for the comment!
1 person likes this
@cynddvs (2950)
• United States
31 Mar 07
Not to mention our job NEVER ends. Even when we get a "break" and have a date night or a night out with friends it takes me forever to unwind and relax if I ever do. The whole time I'm trying to relax I'm thinking about my daughter and what she's doing and how I can't wait to go get her.
2 people like this
@mamasan34 (6522)
• United States
31 Mar 07
I know what you mean, I go out Friday night with my fiance for alone time while she is at the ice skating rink. I worry while she is there, and I am without her. It never ends, even at 2 a.m. when they have a headache or stomach ache, you have to get up and make sure they are ok, give them medicine, we are on call 24 hours a day LOL!
1 person likes this
@miamilady (4925)
• United States
10 Apr 07
I think a lot of people have the impression that stay at home mom's have little to do. That is so not true. We do plenty to keep busy. Some of what we do depends on the ages of our children. When my children were small, it took all I had just to keep up with them. Keeping them happy and busy and trying to keep the mess under controll. Now that they are older, 11 and 13, I am involved with PTSA and the sports league where they play and other activities as well. I am currently trying to find a work at home job or a part time job in order to help with fincances, but I honestly don't know how we will manage to keep up with the day to day stuff when I begin working.
@mamasan34 (6522)
• United States
11 Apr 07
I too am looking for a part time job, maybe 20 hours a week, so I can be at home when my daughter comes home from school and be here to see her off in the morning. It is also nice since she is older that I can have that freedom. I have always been a working mom, but I do like staying at home, but I would like the extra pocket money, LOL!
@artemis432 (7396)
• United States
9 Apr 07
I stay at home. Wow if we were only paid for all those hats we wear. I'm an older mom who just had a baby last November. It is hard not to work and to be dependent on my husband. We share an account but its still like being 12. He is wonderful as a husband and father - he's a typical fixer - headache - he takes care of me - I cut myself - he's immediately by my side to fix it - colic - he always made sure he was there to measure the gasx - when not working to measure. I had migraines/carpal tunnel during pregnancy and he did a lot 'round the house. However its up to me to calm the baby when he's unhappy or fussy. He'll hold the baby and be silly for a few minutes if he's crying then its back to his research on the computer or his video game. He'll say that the baby wants me - but really Robert wants to be walked around - he loves movement! Though really, there is a little truth to it. This young, babies really want their mommies. I have unending laundry - like some bizarre Twilight Zone episode - do everything while holding the baby - even this - its luxury to have two hands. We have a lot to do - on little sleep - when we have babies (my husband was going to help out for nights - for changings early and colic/acid reflux but he couldn't do it - he was falling asleep at work - what is about moms that lets us funciton even as zombies?). We work 24/7 in all our roles. With babies we have few breaks, and little time off. Husbands get to come home from work and relax. Watch tv, surf the net, take a shower. My time is dictated by a baby who wants to nurse a lot, his fussiness etc. Its all worth it though, I have a hand in raising a boy to be ethical, respectful with a love of people and learning. To be a nurturer. This will going to enable me to go back to school and find a job where I can balance home and work.
@mamasan34 (6522)
• United States
11 Apr 07
That is well worded! I really don't know how we do it...working as zombies, LOL! But we do. I know of the endless laundry being like a bizarre twilight zone eppy. It sure is sometimes. It has taken me three days to do three people laundry. My fiance is in the army, he has tons of uniforms to do, now that he is on leave also his regular clothes, and my daughter changes clothes like nobody's business. I miss having a baby sometimes, so enjoy having little one while he is still little, the time goes by so fast! It sounds like you have a very loving husband, but he is a man, and men for the most part have one track minds, they can only handle so much of the nurturing at home stuff. Thanks for commenting!
@mzz663 (2776)
• United States
9 Apr 07
After staying home with my kids for years and working part time off and on, staying at home was alot of work. My kids are older now and people think I'm crazy when I say going to work for me is like my daily "mini" vacation away from home!
2 people like this
@mamasan34 (6522)
• United States
11 Apr 07
I do understand the daily mini vacation that you speak of. I was a working mom up until 3 months ago. My daughter is older and much more self sufficient, and I thought the same way, LOL. It was my time to be with adults and escape from being at home and worrying about my chores. Then I would go home, work my butt off and spend time with my daughter, LOL! However, I am more relaxed about staying at home now, but I am looking for part time work now. I don't want to work full time and I don't have to, just looking for extra pocket money and I can still do my house work, take care of my daughter and not miss my fiance so much while he is on deployment. Thanks for commenting!
• Canada
31 Mar 07
OMG I am a stay at home mom and I only wish I had too little to do . Between 7am and 4pm when my 10 year old is in school I have at least 2 meals to prepare and cook 1 load of laundry, 2 beds to make 1 sink load of dishes , tub to scrub 3 floors to vacumn 3 sets of stairs 1 to vacumn 2 to sweep , toilet to clean 3 floors to sweep then wipe up . Then comes supper,lessons,bedtime clothes, showers and lunches for the next day. And this is only if I do not have any outside appointments or extra activities that require driving ..... I only wish there were days that I had 2 little to do
@mamasan34 (6522)
• United States
31 Mar 07
LOL, I feel your pain! I have a townhome and upstairs we have carpet and downstairs we have tile. I have a dog who is forever shedding, people don't know how to take their shoes off, so from 6:15 a.m. until about midnight I am doing something. My fiance tells me I can't even sit through a show. I will get up during the commercials, tackle a load of dishes, change wash over, fold clothes or something. I have it all down pat and how long it takes for me to accomplish these little chores during commercials. LOL, I don't think I have actually sat through an entire movie without getting up to do something. I can't wait until summer to have all of my daughters friends traipsing through the house with their flip flops on all of the time, more cleaning for me! LOL
1 person likes this
@netski_15 (423)
• Philippines
31 Mar 07
I disagree with the thought that stay-home moms have lesser things to do. I have tried this for two months and God knows how little my rest is. You have to do everything. You have to wake up early and cook, clean the house, do the laundry, take care of your baby. Not to mention the hassle of budgeting your money. It's so hard to be a stay-home mom. It is more stressful.
@mamasan34 (6522)
• United States
31 Mar 07
Yes I know! My ex-husband never realized how much I did until he stayed at home. He asked me finally how I did all of these things and worked full time and went to college too. I told him it is not easy and it takes great organizational skills and patience! Just being a stay at home mom was enough, but when I was a single mom I did work full time, I went to college at night (unfortunately it became so taxing on me physically and mentally I had to give up on my college). So, he had a wake up call on that one. He too thought that we had it easy until he got a taste of it!
1 person likes this
• Philippines
1 Apr 07
I don't agree, to be a stay at home mom is difficult. Mostly people think that you are just sitting on your couch eating fried potatoes, wathing grey's anatomy or oprah. But that's not true. I agree with you, all the roles possible is our responsibility too. And take note, it is a 24/7 always on call job. And to make it worst you have at least 3 to 5 employers, your dad, your husband, your children, your brothers and sisters, your mom. And it is mostly for free. Since I've became a stay home mom, I have less time on my own. It is a rewarding job too because you have your love ones around. But I don't agree it is easy because it is your responsibility too to make sure that everyone is happy, is taken care of, especially your child and parents. So I admire home mom. They do a great job in taking care of their families.! Bravo to all home mom!! Keep up the good work!! (^^,)
@mamasan34 (6522)
• United States
1 Apr 07
Thanks for the response, you are right, a lot of people do think that we stay at home and sit on the couch and eat fried potatoes and bon bons while watching soap operas or talk shows, this is so far from the truth. I can't remember the last time I could sit down to watch a talk show! LOL, thanks for the words of encouragement, we all need it sometimes don't we!
• Philippines
1 Apr 07
That's true, I cannot enjoy to watch a show, from beginning to end. And it is really frustrating sometimes. Mostly, I just "listen to my tv". (^^,LOL^^,) and yes, we really need encouragement, because sometimes our acts are too taken for granted. And it takes a lot of love and patience to be a home mom. And by the way thank you for adding me to your friends! I'm happy to hear that I'm not the only home mom out here. Take care!! And don't work too much!(^^,)
1 person likes this
@mamasan34 (6522)
• United States
1 Apr 07
You are definitely not the only stay at home mom! I think we are all kindred spirits, we all experience the same things! Thanks for the response and I hope you don't work too hard either! Hope to hear from you soon! Thanks again!
@isaiah12 (418)
• United States
11 Sep 07
I think people who do not have children do not understand what is involved. It is not a 9-5, 5 days a week job. You are on call 24/7. If the children are sick you are up all night with them, then still have to do what needs to be down in the daytime. You don't get a vacation from being a mom. People that say stay at home moms have it easy should try it for a year. See if they still think they do.
1 person likes this
@mamasan34 (6522)
• United States
11 Sep 07
You are correct. I really agree with you, it is difficult for people without children to understand the responsibilities of a stay at home mom or dad for that matter.
11 Apr 07
I too am a stay at home mum, i would have a lot to say to someone if they said i had it easy or i was a slacker, i would probably have to sit on my hands too to stop them flying here, there and everywhere. But with everything, people form their own opinions with little or no proof to back them up. I wont work because i dont want to miss valuable/memorable things that my first daughter will do ie walk, talk etc! BUT i will admit that i do it because i can, the benefits etc make it possible for me to stay at home with her, if i got next to nothing i would be stay at home and bring up my child, who i brought into the world, not to have her be brought up by a nursery. Each to there own though, and i do know mothers who work hard all day then come home of an evening and do all the household chores etc and dont stop until they go to bed!
1 person likes this
@mamasan34 (6522)
• United States
11 Apr 07
Thanks for commenting. I know what you mean about how valuable these memories of their first walk and their first words and so on are. I missed some of those firsts because I went through a divorce when my daughter was one and became a single working mom. It is tough, but rewarding. I have worked most of my daughters lifetime and I am now able to be home more. I have been on both ends of the spectrum and I tell ya, it is hard either way. I know how you feel about hearing people say that we are slackers or have it easy, I think I would have to sit on my hands to. LOL
@tim_un (355)
• Malaysia
11 Apr 07
my wife stay at home after we get married. At first i thought she is very free and easy, but after a while, i find out that stay at home is more work than working in company. Bcoz there a lot of things CAN do at home, its depends on you WANT to do or not. So my conclusion is, a responsible MOM have a lot things to do if stay at home.
1 person likes this
@mamasan34 (6522)
• United States
11 Apr 07
You are so right! I am so glad that there are more men out there that have a great appreciation for what their wives do at home. Thanks for commenting!
• United States
11 Apr 07
I know what you mean. Sometimes being a stay at home is harder than being a working mom. I was a stay at home mom and I think I worked more then than I do now that I have a job. The only difference is, I didn't get paid then. When you are a stay at home mom, you are not just a mom. You are a taxi driver, a maid, a cook, an accountant, and just so much more. Wouldn't it be nice if you could put all of that on a job resume?
1 person likes this
@mamasan34 (6522)
• United States
11 Apr 07
Yeah! I would love to put that on my resume! That would be fantastic! I love the taxi driver part the most. It seems I should be collecting fares by now.
@pumpkinjam (4765)
10 Apr 07
The only people who would ever say it's easy to be a stay at home mum are those who have never (and probably will never) do it. A lot of people really underestimate what we do. Sure, people who don't stay at home have some of the same things to do but they don't have to fit every job around everything else. They get regular breaks. I don't know how it works in other places but here, it is a legal obligation to have a 15 minute break every 4 hours and at least half an hour for lunch in a 8 hour working day. I know I don't get that many breaks! I pack in a break at the end of the day between the kids going to bed and me tidying up their mess (and that's only because I don't mind the house being messy for a bit!). Even when I'm having that "break" I'm usually on here or doing something else where I can earn money. It's a bit of a pain doing so much work and getting nothing for it. Well, I get something far better than money, I get the knowledge that I have brought my children up well and that they appreciate me!
1 person likes this
@mamasan34 (6522)
• United States
11 Apr 07
It does get frustrating sometimes doesn't it! I do commend working moms, because I used to be one, what I do during the day now, I did at night. But I also considered when I was working kind of my daily mini vacation, where I could associate with adults for awhile, LOL. I do know that people who think it is a breeze being a stay at home mom are in for a rude awakening when they become mom's if ever! I know what you mean about taking breaks, what breaks? The last few days I have been sick and I have just told everyone they are going to eat left overs and it's every man for himself this week. I don't want anyone getting sick after me. So, the house will just have to be messy this week. There are many rewards as you said about staying home as a mom and getting more rewards than money. I agree!
@lynd0n (226)
• Philippines
9 Apr 07
Yeah that's right, they don't have it easy. But think of the working moms who also have to do all those things aside from their work. They must be superhuman or something. Oh man, I sure do appreciate my mom.
1 person likes this
@mamasan34 (6522)
• United States
9 Apr 07
Oh, I do think of the working moms as well. I used to be one until a couple of months ago. I was a single working mom. I did everything. My daughter has her chores and she helped me a lot, so I definitely apreciate that. I am so glad to see that you appreciate your mother so much. Sometimes these days people take their moms for granted, so it is refreshing to see you thinking of her!
• Philippines
9 Apr 07
I am a guy and i dont think stay at home mom have lesser job to do at home. You are very right with all of the things what you wrote. Its not easy and it is really stressful. You play different roles when you are at home. I slute every mom who stays at home. They may not contribute financially but they do all the planning and you may be called ALL AROUND Person, name it. You can do everything a man can do, planner, janitor, cook, errands person, mother, wife and many more. I salute you. I hope every husband would be open to this situation and help moms at home.. it aint easy being a mom at home. I know these things coz i always help my mother with all her chores. It breaks my heart wheni see her very tired and restless.
@mamasan34 (6522)
• United States
9 Apr 07
It is very nice to see a man comment on this. I also commend you for helping your mom with her chores. That is very nice and respectful of you! I think more husbands are coming around and realizing that there is more to being a stay at home mom than just sitting around and watching t.v. LOL! Thanks for the comment. It is nice to see a guy's point of view.
@GuateMom (1411)
• Canada
9 Apr 07
I work more now than I ever did in any job! Of course, I am a work at home mom, so that means extra long hours, but even just caring for a child and a house is a full-time job.
1 person likes this
@mamasan34 (6522)
• United States
9 Apr 07
I know what you mean. It is very difficult to be a stay at home mom as well. It is a full time job within itself. But I give kudos to those that do both as well. That is even harder! I am a SAHM and I am on call 24/7 LOL!
@KrisNY (7609)
• United States
6 Apr 07
I would NEVER say that Stay at home moms have it easy! I'm not a Stay at home mom-- Your list of things are great! I work full time out of the home and still do all the things you write about- Being a working mom is tough too- I think I'd prefer to be a SAHM because I could spend more time with my daughter-- Right now I only work about 1 hour more than she is in school- But when we get home I have to do the things mentioned above- If I was a stay at home mom- I could do these things when she was in school and devote my time to her after. I say BRAVO to all MOMS!
@mamasan34 (6522)
• United States
7 Apr 07
Thanks for responding. I have been a working mom until the last couple of months and I totally agree with you. It is not easy on either side of the coin! I believe all moms are hero's and deserve that credit!
@Ravenladyj (22993)
• United States
6 Apr 07
oh please LOL moms have little to do? ppl who have that attitude need a swift kick in the butt and to spend on week being a full time stay at home parent....I am the cook, maid, doctor, therapist, teacher, friend, lover, mother, wife (which you have mentioned), I am the animal trainer and caregiver, I'm the personal shopper (though my hsuband does the driving LOL), researcher, problem solver, referee and the list goes on.... my husband (bf at the time) learned really quick what being a single parent and stay at home parent meant when he sent me to St.Lucia for a week a few months into our relationship and he stayed with my kids for the week LOL When I got back home he informed me (and still brings it up actually) that he has a whole new appreciation for what it means to play that role in life.....Of course my kids were also only 2.5 and 5 yrs old so they were a total handful LOL but he pulled it off and EVEN got an award from my son! "Best Hamburger Helper Maker of the World" (I think he still has the award my son made him too come to think of it LOL)
1 person likes this
@mamasan34 (6522)
• United States
9 Apr 07
That is great that your now husband gives you that appreciation. Also, I might add, that award probably means more to him than anything he has been awarded! That is so cute! My ex husband went through that as well. I was working full time when he lost his job and he stayed at home until he found work. He said it was so hard to be a stay at home parent. He didn't know how I did all of it and worked at the same time. So, he was very appreciative of my efforts afterward. He also started helping out a little more too. Most often people take for granted the work we do at home. Thanks for the comment!
• United States
1 Apr 07
I myself being a stay at home mom of one child think that we have lots to do all day long to make sure that when our mans come home the house is in order. Its a hard job being a stay at home mom because when things have to be done you have to do them. Washing clothes, dishes, and baby bottoms.Then theres the errands like buying groceries, making meals, taking the kids to the park, and feeding the animals. Its a hard thing, but I wouldn't trade it for anything. Its nice to be close to my kids and not have to worry abou them having no one to talk to while i'm at work. I like being around for them to come to when the fall down, or if they just need someone to talk to. Its just a nice feeling to know that you do soo much for your family.
1 person likes this
@mamasan34 (6522)
• United States
1 Apr 07
Me either, I know it is hard work, but I enjoy seeing my fiance come home and enjoy making him a nice home cooked meal. It is nice to be close to the kids and be able to help them more than if I were working like I used to. Sometimes I regret missing the firsts. I missed her first step and her first words and so on.