Seeking Marriage Counseling ~ Worth it or not??

Germany
March 31, 2007 8:10pm CST
Not to put my biz out there or anything, but I was wondering if marriage counseling really works. My hubby and I are doing okay, but there are some underlying issues that we would like to resolve. We don't know how to handle it ourselves - we talk about the issue, and then go to bed without resolving it. Then the next day we wake up like nothing ever happened. But then when a similar incident comes up, it's built up, and it gets worse. Most of the time if we do argue, it's not about the actual incident, it's always about past stuff. So...does marriage counseling really solve anything? Can't we get the same advice from friends who may tell us the same thing? Is there anyone out there who has used marriage counseling and saw REAL results? Thanks
4 people like this
4 responses
• United States
1 Apr 07
I don't know if it works or not, but I do know that my marriage is important enough that if it reached this point, I would be willing to try anything to save it. It sounds like a third party might help things and if you are both willing, I say go for it ! Best wishes whatever you decide.
@Jennifer21 (2476)
• United States
1 Apr 07
Well, this does not sound like a serious case. Everyone has their differnces. No one has the exact point of view, personality,religion, ect. These differences cause arguements. During the beginning of my relationship with my hubby, we always fought. We were raised completelly differnt. It took us awhile to work out our differnces. But now, after almost 2 years, we are doing just fine. We have always loved one another, so we always struggled through. If you really think councelling would help, then I say go for it. It certainly would be easier for someone to help you then doing it yourself.
@susieq223 (3742)
• United States
1 Apr 07
I used to do marriage counseling and I can tell you it will work for some things. Unfortunately, most people do not seek counseling until things have really gotten bad, then it's usually too late. Most problems boil down to poor communication. Like you say, people talk, but they don't talk about what is really wrong. That's where a counselor can help...figuring out what really needs to be talked about! Please note a good counselor will not give advice! They are supposed to help you figure out the questions, then help you find the answers.
• Canada
1 Apr 07
I have never been to a marriage counsellor but would assume they would be able to do a better job as they would be totally unbiased as friends would be . Friends are going to pick sides and this would only result in more hurt and more fighting when someone that you know says something that you don't agree wiht or don't like . Marriage counsellor , I would assume , have seen it all and therefore nothing would shock them and they would have different techniques on how to get you to work out frustrations that are bothering you both . Best of luck !!