How long is long enough to be engaged..do people get married to soon?
5 Apr 07
I believe it's because people don't know each other before they actually marry. It's not so much the length of time they have spent together before marrying. When they date, people tend to hide their true self and only present the 'good' side of themselves. Plus with lots of chemistry, they get caught up in the passion, and then they decide to get married. They only start finding out what the other party is really like after the marriage since no one would be able to keep up with the charades for an extended period of time. They don't like the other party's behaviour so they end up getting divorced.
• United States
5 Apr 07
I couldn't be for sure how long is long enough to be engaged, but I do think sometimes people do get married too soon and don't even realize what they've got into, then divorce is prevelent from the beginning. Anyway, sometimes I think people just rush too much in everything.
• United States
6 Apr 07
I think that divorce rates are so high currently, for a number of reasons. One of them may be that some couples do rush into marriages. But, I have known couples who got married within a few months of meeting eachother, and are immeasurably happy. At the same time, I know couples who dated and/or were engaged for years and still ended up divorcing before they'd been married for two years. So, whereas that may be a factor for many, I certainly can't say that it is the rule. For the most part, I think that people don't really realize how much work and effort it takes to make a marriage work long term. They think that everything should be easy. They think that if it's not easy, then it's not good. We've become a society of fast food, of microwave cooking being the norm, etc. If we have to wait at a red light, we become impatient. So, if we're married and it becomes hard to do, we want out. We don't want to work for it. We don't want to go to counseling. We don't want to have to try new things to spice it up. We want it to either work on it's own, or we want to give up. And, now that we can divorce one another over what we claim are "irreconcilable differences", it's not that difficult to get a divorce. It's easy to get a divorce, and it's hard to stay married long term. We've become a society that views the easy way out as better, or more acceptable.