What would you do in this situration?

@TeeandMe (104)
United States
April 5, 2007 1:53am CST
I allowed a friend of mine ( she has been a friend for almost 7 years) to take my 7, 5, and 4 year old and My Fiance's 9 year old with her to this Easter thing they were doing at Toy's R Us this past Saturday. Upon picking them up she informed me that they had ran off after leaving the Mall and walked to the car leaving her behind.. walking across a busy road and thru the parking lot by themselves. She had a sprained ankle and couldn't catch up to them. After I got in the car and was getting onto them and informing them of their punishment for their so reckless behavior my Seven year old informed me that my friend had left them in the mall playarea while she went outside to smoke a cig. Now the closest entrance/exit to the playarea is 100 feet from the playarea. There is no way she could see them from where she was. She left my 7, 5, and 4 year old, My fiance's 9 year old, and her 3 year old in a busy Mall by themselves for 10 mins while she smoked a cig. I have already confronted her about it... and she made light of it. All she said pretty much was that she understands why I would be upset?!?! I'm really confused on why she would have so little regard for my children and her own child for that matters safety... she knows how protective of the kids as it is... but to leave them in a busy mall is so stupid. I mean I think that would be common sense to know that if you have kids with you espeically ones that are not your own and you need to go do something.. you take them with you. You don't leave them hoping that nothing happens. You MAKE SURE nothing happens. What would you do in this situration?
6 people like this
24 responses
@deebomb (15347)
• United States
5 Apr 07
It is so unbelieveable that in this day and age any one would take a chane on leaving small children alone in a busy mall. There are so many things that can happen. It would only take a second for some pervert to grab the litteest one and run. She probably left the 9 year old in charge. That is too young to be left in charge of littler kids. Some people don't have the brains that God gave a goose.
@TeeandMe (104)
• United States
6 Apr 07
Nope and obviously she is one of them!
@Stephanie5 (2953)
• United States
5 Apr 07
I understand why you are so upset. I would be furious too! Someone could of walked up and snatched some of those kids and noone would of known the difference. And by the time she would of came back in~they would of beeen LONGG gone. I definitely wouldn't let her take your children anywhere else. And I think I would probably not even talk to her until she understands how serious this was! Those are your babies and they are NOT replaceable!!! Good Luck!
@TeeandMe (104)
• United States
6 Apr 07
No they are not replaceable. Sure I could have other kids but they wouldn't replace the ones that I already have and cherish. I haven't spoken to her since... She hasn't Im'd me or called me since and neither have I imd or called her. I wrote a blog stating how upset I was over this and even tho she is on my friends list she hasn't replied to it... so I'm not so sure she even cares!
@muscare (3069)
• Australia
5 Apr 07
That's extremely irresponsible of your 'friend' to leave your kids in a busy mall. You just keep imagining all the things that could have happened, no thanks to her. What she chooses to do with her kid is her business, but when she's supposed to be looking after someone elses children, then she needs to change her ideas. I'm afraid I'd seriously be considering how important it is to have a friend like her, and I certainly wouldn't be giving her anything which calls for a mature person to handle. She just isn't up to the task!
@TeeandMe (104)
• United States
5 Apr 07
Obviously she isn't up too it! I am considering dropping her as a friend... espeically since she acted like it was no big deal when I confronted her about it.
1 person likes this
@emisle (3824)
• Ireland
5 Apr 07
I think what your friend did was very careless and thoughtless, especially when you consider some of the people that live in the world today. Maybe she just wasn't thinking about all the dangers when the nicotine craving hit. Whatever her excuse may be, she still shouldn't have left the kids unsupervised.
1 person likes this
@TeeandMe (104)
• United States
6 Apr 07
There is no excuse for being irresponsible! In my opinion.. that is how she acted! She knows better. And I was shocked and still am shocked that she would do this!
@jcgbrains (139)
• United States
5 Apr 07
Your friend was indeed way out of line, there is not much you can do about it, except never trust her with your children again, which I would suggest.
1 person likes this
@TeeandMe (104)
• United States
6 Apr 07
OH believe me I won't be!
• India
5 Apr 07
I think it not advisable to sent small children to distant places with strangers.You said the person is closer to you. Usualyy the children takes more freedom with others,than with their parents.See how responsible she is . To leave the children in the playground of a busy mall.Nobody is to blame except you.Let this be a lesson in your life.
1 person likes this
@TeeandMe (104)
• United States
5 Apr 07
She knows the children as well and used to babysit them while I worked. She has been around the kids since they were born. She isn't a stranger to them. This is not my fault.. geesh people!
2 people like this
@eshuniki (132)
• India
5 Apr 07
Well i think u r absolutely right that when someone takes the responsibility of taking care of ur children,its their duty to watch out for them in every sutuation.But it is also not fair to expect them to care like we do. In a similar situation,I would not hav sent them with anyone at all.U know its just hard to keep wondering wat they might be doing and just hoping that they return back safely. So till now i hav never sent my 2 children out with anyone else.It better safe than sorry for me.
@TeeandMe (104)
• United States
5 Apr 07
Not sending them with anyone at all I would consider being too over protective. This is a friend of mine that I have known for 7 years. She has been around each kids since they have been born. I didn't think that she would do this!
@Bee1955 (3887)
• United States
5 Apr 07
Never let her take your children anywhere without you again. If smokers are that needy and will neglect their own children, then how can you trust her again with yours?
1 person likes this
@TeeandMe (104)
• United States
5 Apr 07
I can't.. that is why she isn't going to be taking them again!
@cutepenguin (6458)
• Canada
5 Apr 07
I don't think I could be friends with this person anymore. One thing I am fairly certain of with my friends - we aren't the same religion, we don't have the same views about money, and we don't always agree about politics - but we have the same views about children. We all work or have worked with kids, and we'd never leave one or more alone in a public place. I can trust my friends with the things which are important to me.
1 person likes this
@ravinskye (8245)
• United States
5 Apr 07
honestly i don't think i would ever let my kids go with her again. So many things could have happened to your kids from being kidnapped to hit by a car. If your friend doesn't have enough respect for you to take care of your kids the way that you would then she shouldn't have them. And she should be more sorry about it seeing how upset you are.
1 person likes this
• United States
5 Apr 07
If I were you, I wouldn't leave my kids with anyone until they were at least 12 years old. A friend may be responsible with your clothing, tools, and other items, but your children are more valuable. Some people are destined to be worse parents than others. All you can do is keep your children with you at all times.
1 person likes this
• Canada
5 Apr 07
That would serve as a lesson not to trust that kind of a friend anymore. If she's not concer with her own kid, there's no logic she'll be concern about yours. you did the right thing and now start worrying about her own kid because i'm sure the kid won't be taken care of at home.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
5 Apr 07
i think that you should just tell her what you think is right. some people needs to be told before acting on a certain thing. But be careful to say it in a nice way. It doesnt feel good when somebody thinks you're blunt. But being blunt is not really a negative thing, it just depends on how you say it.
• Canada
5 Apr 07
I think you absolutely did the right thing by confronting your friend for her reckless actions and behavior. The fact that she says she understands why you're upset but nothing else shows how little regard she has for your kids. If I were in your position, I would be refusing to allow this friend to take your kids anywhere again. It's shocking that she would leave such young kids alone like that.
@User10 (82)
• United States
6 Apr 07
I guesse my views about this have been hardened to a certain extent because of what I see every day in society. I'v noticed that in poorer neighborhoods there a children as young as 5 yrs old out playing without any adult supervision. There is usually an older child who is suppose to be watching the younger child.
@User10 (82)
• United States
6 Apr 07
I am adding to my first comment, there is usually an older child somewhere who is supposebly watching the younger children. Society as a whole is disfunctional and it dosen't surprise me that your freind did what she did. However, there are still some people who have values and are basically decent, (just a few) you just have to be selective especailly when there are going to be around your children.
@lilmissy (481)
• United States
5 Apr 07
i would be greatful nothing happened i would have punished the kids for running off or at least scoulded them i wouldnt have let her take so many children alone with a sprained ankle to begin with and i would definately never let her take them again in the future
@TeeandMe (104)
• United States
6 Apr 07
I am very grateful that nothing happened and she didn't inform me that she had a sprained ankle until after I picked them up and was getting them in the car!
@lyg0414 (12)
• China
5 Apr 07
It is not that important as you think. After all, nothing is happen..so, don't take it to your heart and give your friend a chance..or you will always feel upset about it.
@TeeandMe (104)
• United States
5 Apr 07
Not as important as I think? WTH? You must be one of those people I am talking about!Don't mean to be rude but she left my kids in a crowded mall where anything could have happened to them. It dosen't matter that nothing did happen to them its the fact that SOMETHING COULD HAVE.. someone could have kidnapped them, they could had been seriously injured... they could have just been traumatized because they were left alone when they have NEVER BEEN LEFT ALONE. Geesh...
• United States
6 Apr 07
well i sure would not let this friend ever take your kids again.she should of known as being a parent herself that you never ever leave a child alone everything their is to many things that could happen to a child left alone.that was just very irresponcible of your friend.
@ssuren (46)
6 Apr 07
If this happens to me i will never ever allow my kids to go with her.It is really so irresponsible.
• United States
6 Apr 07
I am angry and horrified at your firend and I do not even know her. I guess I would never leave a child in a play area alone but I see it all the time. I am 48 and now have the nerve to tell moms to watch there kids when I see something like that. Or I would have called the mall security. A couple of friends and I saw a little boy pushing a baby in a stroler in a Wal-Mart parking lot by himself while mon was on the phone 100 feet behind. The kid and the baby almost got ran over. My friend and I started yelling at the mom to watch her kids and get off the phone! Boy she was mad at us. OH well the kids come first. Now with your friend I would never ever let your friend take you children ever again. I think I would distance myself from her at least until I cooled off to think if I really wanted to have a friend like that.