Marry a girl who has a chronic disease

India
April 9, 2007 1:34am CST
I had fallen in love with a girl and I like her a lot. She is pretty open and straight forward. Recently she revealed that she had been detected with a chronic disease. I conveyed this to my parents and they are a bit skeptical. What can I do in this situation? I am not sure whether is she is testing me.. Assuming it to be true, what is the best I can do?
2 people like this
5 responses
• United States
9 Apr 07
If you are really in love with her, then you will have to accept this health problem. Are you gonna be there for her when she needs you? Possibly spending time in hospitals and being able to deal with her sickness later on in life? If you really think you can deal with this and you love her then tell her otherwise if it just seems to be too much baggage? it all depends on what she has, i guess. whatever she does have she is looking for your support and love dont be with her because you feel sorry for her, it may only cause pain later on. i wish you and her the best! :)
@nanayangel (7862)
• Philippines
9 Apr 07
I think that only you can tell whether you believe her or not. If you really think that she's being honest with you, then we don't even have to tell you to believe her because in your heart, you'll know that you already do. If ever she's not telling the truth, then you have the right to be angry at her because that's not a good thing to joke about. Your emotions and your relationship is at stake and those two things are not to be played with. I know it would make you feel a lot better to know if she's just testing you. I'm kinda hoping that she is but I believe that it's a serious matter and no one should joke about it. Hope that it's not true or if ever it is, I hope that she can get better. Just pray. Miracles do happen.
9 Apr 07
Well, if you don't trust her enough to be sure that she's not lying to you about this illness, then perhaps you're not yet ready to marry. Marriage is a matter of trust - there should be no 'testing' or 'games' before two people marriage. They should marry because they love, trust and respect each other. IF she is telling teh truth, then you need to find out about teh illness. Ask her to tell you about it, and see if she will allow you to go with er when she visits her doctors to ask them a little more about teh illness. Talk to her parents. You need to find out about the illness because you are planning on sharing this young woman's life. You need to think and talk about practicalities. Does t means she occasionally needs someone to look after her for a few days at a time? Will it affect her ability to have children? Will it worsen? These are things you need to know before you can make any decision. Good Luck.
@Anakata2007 (1787)
• Canada
9 Apr 07
Assume that what she is telling you is true. Ask her, what is the worst that can happen? Do some research into the "worst case scenario" and determine if you can live with it. Relationships and marriage are not only about love, and although it isn't romantic, your parents are looking out for your best interest. If her chronic disease will cause you more pain than you can bear in your future (remember marriage is FOREVER, or it should be...) and you know this now, before marrying, then now is the time to back out.
@smartmom (827)
• United States
9 Apr 07
Follow your heart, appreciate the fact that the girl is being honest toward you and that she feels, she can actually trust you enough to let you know. Since you do not write the nature of her chronic disease, it is a bit difficult to advice you in any other way. However, I do feel that if this disease could lead to the girl becoming greatly handicapped or even dying, then I think you should be honest with yourself, and search within in order to figure out whether you think you are strong enough to stand by her side,even when times gets rough. I think the girl would appreciate your honesty to a dishonest relationship. I am sure that your parents are concerned, because they do not want to see you be hurt, or because they think the situation will be too difficult for you to handle, but you are the only one, who can actually answer whether it is or not. Follow your heart....