how to be friends with my daughter's dad when my husband doesn't like it?

Philippines
April 9, 2007 5:13am CST
my daughter's dad wants to stay in touch with me and our daughter although i'm already married. my husband doesn't like the idea. my husband wants to adopt my daughter and doesn't want to have anything to do with her dad. he wants me to cut all forms of communication with my daughter's dad. my ex and i have been friends after we broke up and he made a promise to give financial support to our daughter although we will have separate lives. what should i do? i do love my husband very much and wants to do what he wants but my ex is also my friend and my daughter knows him as her dad and even asks about him most of the time. i really need a good advise.
1 person likes this
4 responses
@pelo26 (1553)
• Philippines
9 Apr 07
You should talk it over with all parties concerned. don't try to keep things from each other cause it may lead to unnecessary altercations. You have a great deal going for you..., try to maintain the good relationships as much as possible. As I see it, all parties involved must compromise for everybody's gain.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
9 Apr 07
i agree. i believe the only problem here is convincing my husband 'coz my ex is totally okay with it.
@KissThis (3006)
• United States
9 Apr 07
I would get all three of you together to discuss the situation so that each of you can explain your side. I don't believe that it would be fair to your daughter for you to do what your husband wants. She deserves the right to know her father. Your husband needs to learn how to deal with the father in some way.
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@healwell (1268)
• Ahmedabad, India
9 Apr 07
First of all you must sit with your husband and convinve him about your motivation! He must have such kind of understanding also but right now what you have asked I am highlighting that! Second you must also talk with your EX that what do you mean by friendship and it should be respected in all the aspect! Frankness plus clarity both should have the base of this kind of process to get the right kind of result! And he should consider your husband as a good friend also! Third one is the issue of adoptation of human relationship in all the way: your daughter should have respect for your husband too and she should be as easy as with his father or say she should have a live friendship with her stepfather! For that your husband should play a significant and interesting role! I can see that if two healthy minded father can give very good growth to their daughter for the future and i have seen few good results also but such results have the examples of two mothers! Well this must be for FATHERS and I hope that you three could do that easily!
• United States
9 Apr 07
I totally understand yourhusband's concern but at the same time he needs to understand this man is the father of your daughter and has every right to her(unless of course court says otherwise). It is neither right nor fair for your husband to tell you who you can and can not be friends with. How does he think he is going to disassociate you from someone you need to have contact with regarding your daughter. It would be different if this man was dangerous or somehow harming you or your daughter but from the sound of it things dont seem to be that way. Your husband needs to be a little more understanding and leave the business with your daughter's father to you and your daughter.